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Old 09-09-2008, 09:14 PM   #1
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quetzalmom HB User
Rock redux

While I have gained a new perspective from talking with you folks, my mom continues weird. I'm learning not to take it personally. I've spoken with her doctor about evaluating her when next she comes in. I no longer answer the imaged emergencies, most of which she never remembers later. I even kept cool when she told me I had stolen every bit of pleasure from her life and she might just as well die because I refused to take her to the scrap metal yard, where I assure you neither she nor I have ever been. What I'm struggling with is that I can't stop her from advertising stuff she wants to sell in the paper. It is not safe for an 80 year-old woman, who sounds old on the phone, to sell used power equipment to strangers from her home. I've offered to sell it from my home, but she won't give it up. I can't afford to buy it all. Ideas???

 
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Old 09-09-2008, 09:46 PM   #2
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Re: Rock redux

Just a further note to give you all a giggle. On top of my mom's weirdness, my son has a new special education teacher. Bright, young, and eager, and yes many autistic children respond to a more tactile learning environment, but my son is an excellent speller, he may tell you just like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman "I'm an excellent speller." His homework tonight was to form his spelling words from cooked spagetti. ???

 
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Old 09-09-2008, 11:26 PM   #3
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Re: Rock redux

Quetz, you are right, it is not safe for strangers to come into your Mom's house that way. How is your Mom advertising the sales? Is there a way to cut off her advertisement? I am assuming it's is through the newpaper classified ads. Could you try calling the paper's classified section and making up a story why they couldn't run any more ads? Perhaps help her organize a yard sale once a month or go to a flea market one a month to get rid of the things she doesn't want. Even have someone else sell it from a consignment shop. They truly don't see the danger.

I had to giggle a bit about your son spelling with spaghetti. You have to applaude the creativity of the new teacher. I do hope your son has a good year

You are doing well. It's tough to set limits and live within them and even harder to let all those barbs pass you by. But that's what you have to do.

Hope you find an answer to your problem.

Love, deb

 
Old 09-12-2008, 02:36 PM   #4
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Re: Rock redux

Do you have a power of attorney over property? if so, I suggest you use it. If not, obtain one. I assume there is a power of attorney for personal care. Anyhoo, you can find them online.

jb
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keep the faith ...

 
Old 09-12-2008, 05:07 PM   #5
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Re: Rock redux

I have full authority to act in her stead on all matters. I admit I hesitate to go to the paper and demand they stop taking her ads. It's a small town.

 
Old 09-12-2008, 06:14 PM   #6
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Re: Rock redux

You're going to have to do just that - if it's a small town they might even be more understanding. My Dad liked to buy and sell small amounts of stock, it was a hobby more than a way to make money, but I had to call my Dad's broker (that he had known for years) and tell them not to take any more trades from him.

If something happens it would be much worse than making the phone call.

 
Old 09-12-2008, 08:15 PM   #7
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Re: Rock redux

I had to do the same thing with Mom's financial advisor Teapot. I stopped the transfer of a large sum of money (with huge capital gains and penalties) to some B rated insurance scalpers that she met at a local dinner and invited to her house. It was a real insurance policy but she would have never recouped her loses. At that point I obtained a specific power ot attorney for her investments (Mom signed the papers) and nothing moves unless I say so. I hated to do it but I also know that she would be angry with herself if she made unwise decisions with her investments. She was a very business savy person and made many wise investment decisions over her lifetime to create the portfolio she has. Seeing what she had done that one day was enough to let me know she was not competent to continue.

If you Mom is inviting stranger into her house she is opening her door to danger is so many ways. It's better to step on her toes a little than to let her end up robbed, hurt, scammed, or worse.

Love, deb

 
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