Another very sad day - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

DrewsG · 10-13-2008, 10:42 AM

Mom is getting so much worse. I've been spending much more time with her and its never enough. Her little mind is failing fast again. I'm having her checked for a UTI but I really don't think thats the problem. Besides the dementia she has a host of medical problems any of which could cause confusion. I have my Grandson so there is no time for tears today. I really feel like screaming and throwing something but I can't when he is here. Mom called and didn't know where she was or how she got there. But she always knows how to call me. She just breaks my heart over and over. You think you will somehow get a harder shell to keep out the pain you feel but it hurts just as bad as the first time. I want this hell over.................I want her fear to be over. She knows. She has to know. I want to "fix" this for her. I can't.
I know no one can help.
I just wanted to vent some of my pain away. I'll do something with Drew and pretend that all is good. Tonight I'll have a good cry.
Thanks for listening.
Love Chris

ibake&pray · 10-13-2008, 11:54 AM

Chris, Grab hold of the towel and hang on tight girl! it's hard being the grown up isn't it? I don't remember where I signed up to be the big person in this story and I certainly don't want the job any more! Being the sandwich generation isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Take a deep breath, let it out slowly and relax all of your muscles starting at your head and work down to your toes. Now shake all of your arms and legs to loosen out your tension. Stand up straight and stretch up to the stars as if you can reach them and grab one to hang on to. Better? Good!

Now I have something for you to think about..."What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for others?"

Hang in there hon, we'll all help you get through this. It sucks. been there, done that, got the damn shirt. Hold tight to the towel, we won't let you down or adrift.....

Martha H · 10-13-2008, 12:02 PM

I am with you in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is. I have also thrown things.

Remember, this too shall pass.

My brother always said, "everything will turn out all right in the end. If things don't seem to be working out, it isn't the end yet."

That always helped me.

Love,

Martha

Gabriel · 10-13-2008, 12:23 PM

I'm right here with you also Chris. I understand and feel your frustration. Turn to the dear precious Drew and know there is joy there if you will grab it. You Mom is well cared for and safe. You are doing all you can. This disease is heart wrenching and tears us apart just as it does the one that has it. The difference is that we can rationalize. So take another deep breath and exhale the tention trapped within you. Focus on Drew and his laughter. Remember that you are a great daughter and a great grandmother. Most of all you are a great person that is doing all she can do. Help yourself and Drew for now. Then have a glass of wine and a long hot bath with that good cry tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.....

I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Love, deb

skimps46 · 10-13-2008, 03:00 PM

Prayers, hugs and hopes for you, Chris.

I wonder why the whole world does not know how hard this is for us, and for the thousands like us that are caring for our loved ones with dementia/Alzheimers. It's like we are dying a little along with our loved ones, isn't it?

Here's my last Care Bear towel, Chris. I got a corner, Deb has a corner, ibake has a corner, Martha has the center, and we're gonna pull you through this, I swear.

My heart breaks for you. But isn't it amazing that God saw fit for Drew to be there with you today? There is no sadness without a glimmer of happiness thrown in. Look at his little face, Chris. That is the hope of the future. Rejoice in that, and with mom - hold on tight. We got 'ya.

...lil' deb