How do you get rid of the stench? Everything MIL owns smells terrible! I've washed every item except a dry clean only jacket. I was hanging something in her closet yesterday and was hit again by the stench, even though there was nothing "dirty" in there. I took that one jacket out, sprayed it with fabreze and hung it in the garage to air out. Same with her suitcases. I washed everything in the closet again. That helped some, but even when I pull her stuff out of the washing machine, I can still smell the urine odor. Today, her 6 boxes are supposed to arrive and I can just imagine what it's going to smell like to open them. What about sneakers? Hubby said he packed a bunch of them (threw out the rest). How do you get the urine odor out of them?
She's never been a particularly clean person, but I don't think she's even using the soap in the shower. I've gotten as graphic as I can, telling her to be sure to use plenty of soap and where to use it. She doesn't. It's just not in her habit memory. I'm ready to reach into the shower and wash for her! I'm finding, um, smudges on the towel when she's done and she still stinks.
Sorry if this is offensive to anyone. But it's a problem I'm having and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. Has anyone found any solutions to this? Anything to add to the laundry to eliminate a long time odor from clothing? Anything to spray to get the odor out of her room? I aired it out with open windows and fabreze air spray yesterday, and that did help, but it's raining today and the warm spell is supposed to be over. No more open windows!
Thanks, all you more experienced sages, for any suggestions you have.
Hi Emily, When we owned our day care we often had "accidents" there. Are you close to a Sams Club? We bought something there called "Odo-Ban". We used that on the carpet and in the wash to eliminate urine odor. I'm sure you can find it somewhere and it works great.
My Mom was the cleanest person in the world...................now I must wash her in the shower. I get her in the stall, I put the some kind of really wonderful smelling liquid soap on her scrubbie thing and go to town. Otherwise she does not wash herself. I give her a seperate wash rag and tell her to wash her "bottom". Its so hard to do. I won't let Mom smell. She hates that I do this for her. Too bad. Some things I won't give in on. I've tried everything and everyone else. Didn't work. So its me and Mom. She loves it when I lotion her entire body afterwards. She soon forgets that she was angry. I usually have a good cry after I get in the car. Today is shower day. I just dread it so much. But my Mom doesn't smell. Good luck with MIL. I'm with you. Can't stand that certain "smell".
I'll be thinking of you,
Love Chris
This is not offensive; this is the crux of the whole caregivng matter. This is the reason why people DO end up in Nursing Homes. This is the reason well meaning, loving and caring grown up children throw up their hands and give up.
This is the one thing we were not prepared for and couldn't cope with.
My ultra clean, German born mother scrubbed herself and everything else raw all her life. THEN Dementia hit her. I used to come home from work and find a pile of sh*t on the bathroom floor. I found underpants with that inside of it IN her dresser drawers. She stank abominably.
And I, her really loving, really caring daughter could not cope with it. I cleaned up the messes, threw up, cleaned it some more, went on a sht hunt, found more, threw up again, persuaded Mom into the bathtub, washed her myself, all over - to her loud protests, tears and embarrasment. Put her to bed clean and in a clean nightie and clean sheets -- and woke up in the room adjacent (no door) to smell more of IT.
I did this for 9 months of the whole 5 years of living with her. My sister and brother did not agree to put Mom into a NH. Finally my brother and his dear wife agreed to take her in. That lasted only 3 months (my SIL used to get into the shower WITH Mom every evening!) and then Mom fell, landed in the hospital , operation (hip) and NH.
I coped with memory loss, fires in the kitchen, thrown out food, thrown out flowers --- I loved lilacs, my favorite, they lasted one day before Mom threw them out -- accusations, beng awakened in the middle of the night -- but I could not cope with the defecation. I threw out more underwear than I washed (I had to go to a public laundromat, try that!) and replaced everything, over and over again.
It was a nightmare.
The moral of this story? Nursing Home workers are saints and angels, and they are trained to do all this and not feel personally devastated by this Mother, your role model, your helper and most important person in your life, becoming a person who cannot manage her own boldily excrements.
Sorry this is so graphic, but it is the truth and we all have to face it ... by the way, Mom flatly refused to use adult diapers, until the fall and the hospital - there she had no choce and never went back to regular underwear.
I raised 3 children and helped with 3 grandbabies, worked at a nursery school and never had that kind of reaction to any of the children's messes. It is entirely different when it is an adult, and your Mother!
Love,
Martha
Last edited by Martha H; 10-17-2008 at 09:20 AM.
Reason: full of sp errors, most emotional issue for me ....
Nope, not too graphic. I read that lack of ability to bathe is the #1 reason folks end up in NH. I see why.
I had the same stinky issue with daddy. His house smelled. His clothes smelled. And I could not figure out the reason. Now, I knew he could no longer shower - his last shower a few months ago he told me I was torturing him. But I thought he was washing himself nonetheless.
WRONG. So I bought a bottle of Dial for Men liquid soap, and got out a big dutch oven, filled it with warm water, grabbed a washcloth and towel, and when he least expected it, told him that I needed to take off his tshirt so we could get "washed up". He looked at me surprised, but I whipped off his tshirt, and got to work. I scrubbed his back, his shoulders, his bald little head...and by the time I was done, he smelled good again. I did the same with his slacks, and all I left was ...um...you know. I took him to the bathroom, gave him a new cloth and stood there while he washed there. I helped him dress, and all of a sudden, he smelled like springtime.
I air out the house every day - even when it's cold outside - vacuum and febreeze the furniture. I use Gain laundry soap because it really does remove smells from clothing.
It's a real job to keep him smelling good. But I won't have it any other way. He may be old, dotty, confused...but by gosh, he will smell like a million bucks.
It's tough, isn't it? I don't know what's worse..the old people-who-don't-wash-and-do-laundry-smell, or the-pee-and-never-wash-the-smell-out-or-wash-themself-smell. Short of climbing in the shower with her and putting a rubber glove on and "helping" (which isn't such a bad idea..at least you know she's really clean!) you're kinda stuck. At least you got her in the shower!
Try adding vinegar to the rinse water. It's great for cutting odors. My mother used to swear by it. And it does work. Washing with vinigar in the rinse and then a clear second rinse should help. Hand the clothes outside to dry if you can. Or, if they are poly, pitch them as you aren't going to be able to get the smell out. Polly doesn't let go of odors.. Cotton should release with a good wash and rinse with vinegar... If they have been dried in a really hot dryer thou...I don't know. Sometimes that will set the smell in and you'll be SOL... (Sh*t out of luck).
we've all been there so it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Have you considered putting her in depends?
Good luck with MIL. I'm with you. Can't stand that certain "smell".
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