Is this normal - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

plain tired · 10-17-2008, 03:31 PM

My mother-in-law lives with us and had dementia/alzheimer's. It seems she is in a pattern of either sleeping continuosly or if she is awake, she is confused, wanders and most of the time frustrated and mean. We have been able to adapt to every situation along the way but now it seems she has started pulling her pants down and urinating in her bedroom on those nights she wanders. Is this normal? What can I do, she already wears depends.

BlueAtlas · 10-17-2008, 05:13 PM

Hi Plain Tired, and welcome to the board! Your user name says it all! I'm new here myself, but I can tell you you're in the right place.

Oh my! I want to see what the experienced people here have to help you. I'm new at this, but my first thought was duct tape!

A nice waist band around the depends... would that prevent her from pulling them down? Of course, if she's built like my MIL, no waist anymore even though she's not heavy, that wouldn't work.

I know these ladies have some suggestions! They're truly a lifeline!

In the meantime, here's corner of a towel to hold onto. Hang on tight! I'm at the other end, and I sure understand! I don't have all the answers, but I'll stay here holding on with you. We have lots of towels! I was given a generous stack when I just recently started on this board!

Blessings,
Emily

Martha H · 10-17-2008, 05:19 PM

Sorry you too are going through this . There is a thread on this Board titled "Stench" which deals with the same issue. Sadly, it IS normal for dementia patients. Most of us have problems coping with it.

If she is already wearing depends, try taping them tighter at night so she cannot pull them down.

Other than that, I strongly recommend a nursing home. They have more experience dealing with such problems and much more patience than the daughter on duty 24 hours a day .. at least after their 8 hour shift they go home! And they get paid for this job. (not nearly what they are worth, in my opinion -- if I ruled the world people who take care of babies and old people would be the highest paid employees in the country!)

Good luck! How long have you been caregiving? At what stage is your mother? Do you have any help? No one should have to do this alone.

Martha

Gabriel · 10-18-2008, 07:58 AM

Welcome to the board plain. I am truly sorry you need to be here but glad you found us. Martha is right, this is normal. Your Mom has forgotten the appropriate place to urinate. In her mind she is doing what she is supposed to do. Making the depends more difficult to pull off might help but as you probably know the ALZ patient can be very creative when necessary.

My grandmother did the same. We never did solve the problem before she ended up in the hospital with a massive blood infection (septicemia) and then went straight to a nursing home. We did put pants on her that zipped down the back and were difficult to get off and that detered her the most of anything we tried. It also made it much more difficult to change her so that ended up being a bad for bad trade off.

I agree with Martha. Looking are your user name says a lot. Perhaps it is time for you to consider alternative living arrangements for your MIL.... or perhaps in home help at night that can watch her while you get some rest?

The only silver lining is that each problem is a phase that will eventually change to something else.... in time. The next step will not necessarily be better but it will be different.

Love, deb

BlueAtlas · 10-18-2008, 08:34 AM

How strong is she? If you had a hospital bed with rails, could she get out? Or is this not a good idea for dementia patients, all you dear experts on here? Would she be too likely to topple out trying to get over the rail and hurt herself?

Emily