We do have a lawyer appointment Monday..... finally!!! The wills need to be fixed. We already have Durable POAs, Living wills, Medical POAs. Other than the wills we need some guidance on financial considerations, beneficiaries, property disposal,
I would love some suggestions of things I need to ask, know, investigate, take with me... from those of you that have been there before me.
I have current care expenses, income, insurance information, all the legal doctuments, financial investments, and tax values of the property. What else? ...... besides a check to pay the guy
Deb, if can afford to, pay for the funerals ahead of time, that way they are not taken out of the estate-if that is an issue with the sisters that is. If they don't care-then let it be. I would go over what your parents expect for the funerals. I was shocked by the costs incured for the funerals...and if you haven't priced that lately-be sitting down when read trhe figures.
We had Mom and Dad creamated-their wishes. We did a grave side service just becuase there are so few people left to come to visit. With the flowers and mininial costs it was running right around $4K... a piece. We got a discount because of a mistake that the assistant made-lomg story. But even so, you need to talk with your sisters about arrangements now. The cost and what they want done, if they want viewing. A meal afterwards...this is abig midwest deal....do it when you are all together.
That is on my short term to-do-list IBake. I have already talked to Mom about it several times. Actually she was the one that brought it up. She has already bought the grave plots and the memorial head stone is done, except for names and dates which are paid for. She has told me her wishes and wants to pick out Dad's casket. She didn't say anything about her own but has expressed her opinion on others so I know. They will return to their home town when the time comes so I need to go there to make the arrangements. I should not have any trouble with the sisters on this one either way because they know as well.... I just have to time it correctly.
I am just taking this one step at a time and through the lawyer appointment and getting the legal and financial situation stabalized was first priority. Then I will do what is needed about the services and do something about the house.... it can't stand vacant for years. For sister 4's sake I move slowly. She does seem to get overwhelmed. I know she is the first line of contact for Mom and Dad's care and I try not to add more than she can handle Yep, mediator peace maker......
Last edited by moderator2; 11-01-2008 at 06:22 AM.
Reason: removed reference to deleted post - do not reply to posting policy violations so that you are not also banned
We also prepaid Mom's funeral and it was a great blessing. Not only didn't she have to spend down that amount on NH care before getting accepted to Medicaid, but at the time of her death we had no decisions to make, everything was already planned. The coffin, the type of service, flowers, etc. Took a load off our already exhausted backs.
The lawyer visit went well. What I have been saying was validated and all were there to hear it. It is comforting to know that so far we have been on the right tract and now have legal council to help over each bump in the road. Thanks to all who encourage me to do this. I truly appreciate it
Glad to hear your visit with the lawyer went well Deb.....of course you have been on the right tract. When you make decisions for your loved ones that come from your heart, you can never go wrong! There are after all no rules or guidelines to dealing with all of this, so that's all you can do. I'll bet it is good to hear though from a legal standpoint! So glad for you that it went well!!!