Lawyer visit - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Gabriel · 10-29-2008, 08:56 PM

We do have a lawyer appointment Monday..... finally!!! The wills need to be fixed. We already have Durable POAs, Living wills, Medical POAs. Other than the wills we need some guidance on financial considerations, beneficiaries, property disposal,

I would love some suggestions of things I need to ask, know, investigate, take with me... from those of you that have been there before me.

I have current care expenses, income, insurance information, all the legal doctuments, financial investments, and tax values of the property. What else? ...... besides a check to pay the guy

Thanks for any help you can throw my way.....

Love, deb

ibake&pray · 10-31-2008, 09:14 AM

Deb, if can afford to, pay for the funerals ahead of time, that way they are not taken out of the estate-if that is an issue with the sisters that is. If they don't care-then let it be. I would go over what your parents expect for the funerals. I was shocked by the costs incured for the funerals...and if you haven't priced that lately-be sitting down when read trhe figures.

We had Mom and Dad creamated-their wishes. We did a grave side service just becuase there are so few people left to come to visit. With the flowers and mininial costs it was running right around $4K... a piece. We got a discount because of a mistake that the assistant made-lomg story. But even so, you need to talk with your sisters about arrangements now. The cost and what they want done, if they want viewing. A meal afterwards...this is abig midwest deal....do it when you are all together.

Gabriel · 10-31-2008, 11:24 AM

That is on my short term to-do-list IBake. I have already talked to Mom about it several times. Actually she was the one that brought it up. She has already bought the grave plots and the memorial head stone is done, except for names and dates which are paid for. She has told me her wishes and wants to pick out Dad's casket. She didn't say anything about her own but has expressed her opinion on others so I know. They will return to their home town when the time comes so I need to go there to make the arrangements. I should not have any trouble with the sisters on this one either way because they know as well.... I just have to time it correctly.

I am just taking this one step at a time and through the lawyer appointment and getting the legal and financial situation stabalized was first priority. Then I will do what is needed about the services and do something about the house.... it can't stand vacant for years. For sister 4's sake I move slowly. She does seem to get overwhelmed. I know she is the first line of contact for Mom and Dad's care and I try not to add more than she can handle

Yep, mediator peace maker......

Love, deb

Martha H · 10-31-2008, 02:15 PM

We also prepaid Mom's funeral and it was a great blessing. Not only didn't she have to spend down that amount on NH care before getting accepted to Medicaid, but at the time of her death we had no decisions to make, everything was already planned. The coffin, the type of service, flowers, etc. Took a load off our already exhausted backs.

love,

Martha

Gabriel · 11-01-2008, 09:24 AM

I agree with you Martha, when the time comes I don't want to be burdened with such decisions at a time when the brain is elsewhere.

I am on my way. Leaving in a few minutes and probably will not be back online until Monday night. Amazingly Sister 4 decided I needed to stay with her this weekend and she doesn't have wireless!!!

Thanks again Jannar, IBake, Martha, and all the others....

Love, deb