91 year old mother fell - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

jannar · 10-30-2008, 07:08 AM

I received a phone call from the nursing home yesterday morning letting me know they found my 91 year old mother with Alzheimers was on the bathroom floor. Apparently she was running to the bathroom without slippers on and fell. They told me they examined her and had the resident doctor look at her and they determined that she was ok. I notified my brother and sister about this incident. My mother began calling me on the phone numerous times yesterday (long distance--I live two hours away) very angry letting me know that I was the one that created caused her to fall and what was I thinking letting everyone know about it. She said that I should never call the doctor, my siblings etc. because now everyone was making such a fuss over her and I was to blame. I tried to explain that there was a procedure in place and they had to notify me and the doctor and I wanted my siblings to also know.
Thanks for letting me vent. I wish with all my heart I had a mother that was "normal"!

ibake&pray · 10-30-2008, 08:32 AM

Jannar,

I'm glad that your Mom wasn't hurt...and I'm sorry that she's blaming you. But at least you know that she is OK. All you can do is to keep telling her that the home has to follow their rules and make sure that she is OK. They want to make sure that she is safe. Then just change the suject. She should follow along if you keep at it-hopefully.

And we have all wished that our parents were "normal." But as Mom used to say, If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." All you can do is keep trying to do the best you can...and take a deep breath...and post alot here!

Martha H · 10-30-2008, 01:41 PM

I'm so glad she wasn't hurt. My mother's fall and resulting broken hip caused her to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair - 2 years and 3 months... it was very hard. Preventing falls is of utmost importance. Never mind the accusing phonecall - she will forget all about it in a day or two.

Love,
Martha

Gabriel · 10-30-2008, 07:52 PM

My Dad fell in the bathroom last night. He was not seriously hurt either. He doesn't have a clue that it happend. Mom is the one that is blaming everybody and everything. It is very normal. In their world it is impossible that something just happened to them without it being somebody else's fault. As much as it annoys us it is the way they think. When Mom does this I just say.... "Sorry Mom, it won't happen again."... and then go on to another subject. That gives her a moment of validation (they very much live in the moment) and the incident is soon forgotten... usually. There are those things she hangs on to for a while but eventually she will let go of them with a little creativity on our part.

I am so very glad your Mom was not hurt. The fall and ensuing commotion has probably knocked her off balance for a short time but she should bounce back. As soon as the hoopla dies down she will get beyond it. You might want to tell the other to not continue to ask her about the fall. If she brings it up that is different but you can tell if she is ok without asking how she is feeling after the fall. Just a few tips that work with Mom... most of the time! Nothing is definite in ALZ

Love, deb