As I stated in "Oh my gosh you guys" thread, I know you are all right about daddy. I have a dr appt Mon @ 11:30 to discuss.
But here's a new wrinkle. I have not seen this discussed, so maybe y'all can help me with this: Dad usually sleeps a lot. 18 hrs a day, usually. But yesterday and especially today, he has been wired like a 9 day clock. It happened all of a sudden, and it's wearing us both out.
I canNOT get him to sit still. I take his blood pressure 3x a day, and I haven't gotten a good reading for 2 days now because he will not be still. Even when I have him seated at the table, he is drinking his coffee, picking his teeth, blowing his nose...and if I tell him to just be still for a hot second, he does for about 5 seconds, then he is all moving around again. Reaching, scratching, moving. Constant motion. He is outside. Inside. Outside. Inside. Fooling around in the tool shed. "Cleaning" trash cans. (He has no hose - I took it away without his knowledge, so he sweeps out trash cans. Clean trash cans. Unused brand new trash cans.) He stripped all the covers off his bed today. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "Just raisin' hell". Tonight, while we were at church and my daughter was watching him, he had a 30 minute "episode" with the baby powder - putting on the stupid fat dog, all over himself...daughter didn't know what to do with him. It was pitch dark outside when she finally MADE him go in the house, and he was not appreciative of the demand, either.
The frenetic activity level is exhausting. He cannot walk worth a darn - just a shuffle, 2" at a time, and I stay with him cuz he does fall every now and again.
Between the assault on the landlord and this crazy frantic restlesness, I can't figure out what the heck is going on. I had to explain 6 times that his trash can goes out street side today for the garbage man. He just can't understand why I took it to the street. He can't get any kind of sentence out, I don't know what he wants, and I don't know how to settle him down. Is restlessness common? How does this differ from "terminal restlessness"? What in the heck to I do?
That kind of sudden change in behavior might be because of a UTI. Remember all the bizzare things Mom did before the care meeting we had on here, only to find out it was a UTI? Can you take a urine sample in tomorrow to be checked? If that is not the case then it could be new behavior as he shuffles along the path of this diease and even more reason placement or inhome help. Remember the night I spent with Dad walking the halls going to check on the little boys and his recent fall in the bathroom and as he was checking the place. No UTI or other cause... just something he is doing more frequently now. There may be a reason for the behavior but it is not for you to know. It is something locked in his head that he can't explain. The things he is doing are the same things he has done before... just on a grander scale. It may perhaps be terminal restlessness but that is for your doctor to determine on Monday. More than likely it is either a UTI or his need to get things done. It may be nothing more than he is actually feeling better than he has and therefore able to do more. If so medication may be in order but again... your doctor would be the best one to determine a cause but be sure to get a urinalysis done ASAP.
I know. I think he knows. We all know. And most of all, God knows. It's time.
Ever since this weird activity level began, he has been even more diminished cognitively. Today, I took over his fried egg and cheese sandwich and a bowl of apple salad for lunch (his favorite, favorite, favorite lunch), and found him sitting on his sofa. He no longer sits like we do, with your bottom against the back of the sofa and sitting upright. His bottom apparently hits the center of the sofa cushion, and he leans back - it looks odd, and cannot be comfortable. Anyway, he looked like hell. Pale. Vacant. He had just come in from outside (the trash bin that got dumped yesterday and returned to the back porch apparently needed to be rolled back out to the street), and I still don't know what happened to him. I said, "What's wrong, daddy?" And he just looked at me. I grabbed the blood pressure cuff, and his bp was fine, so I gave him a drink of iced tea, and he seemed to brighten. He ate his lunch, and then started talking again.
Now be clear - I don't have the slightest idea what he's saying. It's almost like random words. But HE knows what he's trying to say, so I need to pay close attention, because I might just figure it out. I do, too, most of the time.
Anyway, he snapped back, and after he ate, he wanted to take a lil' nap, so that's what he did.
I can't wait for the doctor's visit on Monday. We have so much to discuss, she and I.
And the biggest subject of discussion will be, "What now?" Where do we go from here? We have to go SOMEWHERE...the question is just, where.
And ibake - my heart is with you. I really do know how hard it is to lose your mom. I lost mine in 04, and my daughter in 95, and with both of them, it seems like 2 weeks ago. It is so hard. You are in my prayers, ibake. Really. I don't know what I would do without you, and the other wonderful people on this site.
There is no telling what he did or where he was little deb but evidently he wore himself out doing it. I remember that pale vacant look. I have seen it in Dad after one of his adventures..... like the night he wandered all night checking on the little boys. The more I think about it the more I believe he was checking on his little brothers... who are all dead now.
I am with you anxiously awaiting your appointment Monday. I know you realize it's time. The waiting now is the hard part to find out exactly what you are going to do. Know I keep you and your Dad in my throughts and prayers and hope you have a good weekend with him.
Good point Gemini... You might want to have the physician do a blood sugar A1C which is a test of blood sugar levels over time.... Or if you have a glucometer available for a finger stick that will give you an immediate reading. Gemini is right, the revival after sweet tea might indicate low blood sugar levels. Might be worth putting on your "ask the doctor" list. You can buy glucometers cheaply but the test strips are usually perscription and what cost. The doctor will usually give you a kit with a few test trips so you can determine if this is the cause of his symptoms... or mine did. The drug companies like to have their machines in the hands of consumers so you buy their strips
I miss my Mom too. Dec 29 it will be one year. I hope I am totally busy that day so I won't think much about it.
Her birthday was October 22, the first birthday without her. I was helping my daughter who had had an operation the day before, but both of us thought about Mom, and Jenny dreamed about her. In her dream, her ancient Grandmother was doing things for her, picking things up off the floor etc, and Jenny was telling her, 'I should be doing things for you, not you for me." It may have been partly caused by her helpless feeling after surgery, but I told her Grandmom was helping her spiritually, from the other side.
I often wonder how the medical proffesionals so easily diagnose "Alzheimer's"....it seems so different in its' grasp of our loved ones!
At the facility where Mom has been for several years, I've seen so many "come and go"...and found it interesting how differently each person seems to be affected. There are 2 women who never rest...I mean NEVER! They are constantly roaming the rooms...always busy in their thoughts, and even sometimes stopping a few minutes to acklowlege, but that restlessness is always there. I honestly don't know how the caretakers do what they do....but I appreciate them so much!
I agree with the others, lil' deb....it's time to do some serious thinking about your Dad's future...and YOURS! I realize it's somewhat easy for us to give you advise (that all of US put off for as long as we could!)...but this is becoming too much for you. Decisions are never easy...but the peace of mind that comes with knowing our loved one is in a safe environment can only come with this very tough decision. Sending positive thoughts....Pam
I'm back from our restful trip and very anxious to see what the Dr. says. Hoping you have a good visit. You must be worn out. I wish you could have been with us..................resting also. Thinking of you.
I wrote a note like I always do, to attach to daddy's chart and give her a "heads up" before she sees daddy. She came in the exam room, gave daddy his flu shot, asked him a few questions and answered them herself before he had a chance to digest the question ("How you doin'? Fine? Good.). She checked his heart and lungs, prescribed an anti-depressant, and said she was ordering an "evaluation" (by whom? when?) to see what to do next.
She said she feels the meds will help with his periodic restlessness and flash temper, bid us adeiu, and out she went.
So it looks like we will have social services out here, and we will take it from there.
I swear. Or at least I WANT to swear. It was so fast - 5 min maybe, and nothing was addressed. We were the last appt before lunch, so maybe she was in a hurry, but it took me TWO BLASTED HOURS to get daddy bathed, clothed, shaved...and still - no progress. I am so frustrated.
Time for a new doc, maybe. A visiting nurse will be good, and maybe I will find a person that is on my side here. In the meantime, I guess I can just forget about help from the doctor, and will just muddle through.
I am truly sorry your visit today was such a frustration. Yep, It's time for a new doctor. I would have been tempted to trip her. I don't care if it was the last appointment before retirement and she was catching a plane for TimBuckToo.... you didn't get your money's worth on that visit. Call back to the office tomorrow and ask the nurse when and who will be doing what kind of evaluation. I would also ask any other questions that you feel were not answered and ask them to give you a return call with the answers. Also watch your Dad carefully for any side effect of the medications he is on. I am scratching my head wondering why he got an anti depressant for restlessness and anger. It sounds a bit more of an anxiety problem rather than a depression problem. If you don't see some improvement by friday I would call back about that too.
Mom had one of those doctor's that was pleasant, short, and dismissal. I became a thorn in his day. If you can't get answers in the office then get them on the phone!!!! Keep working on it little deb..... this is for you and your dad. You are your dad's advocate and you both deserve better.