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Old 10-31-2008, 08:27 AM   #1
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I don't know if I can make it

I may not be around this wekend...but I will come back...I'm having a rough time. I't a year since mom passed and it's worse than I thought it would be. I stayed home to work from home todgay because I just am not handling it very well. daddy way hard eoughb but this is even worse than his was. i am reliving last ear step by tep..it is like it is happening all over again... oh der lord why;;;;;;;;;;

 
Old 10-31-2008, 09:24 AM   #2
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

Dear, dear Jill,
I'm so sorry for your continued grief. It comes because you had such a loving, wonderful relationship with your mom and dad, something to be cherished. You have so many good memories, and I know you sorely miss them. You are in my prayers today.

Much love,
Emily

 
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Old 10-31-2008, 09:43 AM   #3
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

I am so sorry this is such a bad time for you -- you are in my prayers also, and remember, when things get really bad, they start to get better.

love,

Martha

 
Old 10-31-2008, 10:04 AM   #4
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

My thoughts, my heart, my love, and my prayers go out to you IBake. Take the time you need to remember, to heal, to embrace all that was, is, and will be. Your Mom was an incredible special person. I know this because you are. Know she is looking down on you, embracing you with her love, and you will come through this time with a better understanding. It will always be difficult but in time you will find a way to move forward with her memory surrounding you. Martha is right.... when it seems to be unbearable it will get better.

Warm hugs to you.....

Love, deb

 
Old 10-31-2008, 05:41 PM   #5
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

IBake. You have to be strong for all of us!
My heart aches for you because your heart is aching.
I am a newbie and hardly post, however , a day does not go by that I do not read all of your posts. They keep me going each and every day. I do not know what I would do if you Angels left me.
Cry, cry,, and as you do they will eventually become tears of joy one day.
Joy for your beloved Mother, joy to have had her in your life for so many wonderful years. My dear Mom is slowly fading away from me each day.
My sweet Dad passed away 28 years ago at the age of 59. The first year was the worst. I could not even get out of bed that day. I thought my life was over. Guess what? Another year came and went, then another, then another and soon it was 28 years later. The pain will always be there each year and each day but it does get easier as time passes.

You are such an inspiration to me and I NEED you to help me get thru these tough days that I have. Remember, I have 3 brothers who do NOT help at all. It is ALL on me. You gals are the best!

I pray that you will get through this tough time.
Love,
Oceanside Nancy

 
Old 10-31-2008, 06:48 PM   #6
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

I Bake
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. The first year or anniversary of the time a loved one has past away can be such a difficult time. Sometimes, I think it is just as hard or harder to get through then the day they past away. It can be very difficult. You need to do what you think is best to help you through this. It may be that you just want to be by yourself, or you may just want to stay inside and do nothing. Or perhaps just stay in bed . Just remember you have to do what is best for you. I hope you begin to feel better soon!!

Love Pauline

 
Old 10-31-2008, 07:01 PM   #7
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

My heart is with you, ibake. You are in my prayers. Take whatever time you need to just be. Be whatever you need to be. Sad, grieving, reminicing, whatever.

We'll be here when you come back. But in the meantime, know that I am praying for you.

And ibake, look what I found! A Mighty Mouse towel!!! Here! (lil deb tosses it to ibake) And remember, "Here I come to save the daaaay!"...just to make you smile a little...

...lil' deb

 
Old 11-01-2008, 11:54 AM   #8
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

Just look at all the friends you have here wanting to ease your burden!

It would be more unusual if you were not sad or sentimental! Your Mom was such a special and important part of your life...of course memories will come rushing back to you!

Don't know if it helps, but just a few months after my Aunt's death...in the first year of my Mom's placement in the AF...she repeatedly called me "Maxine". I gently reminded her Aunt Maxine had died...and Mom looked over my shoulder and said "Well, she's standing right behind you!" Somehow, that gave both of us comfort....I'm sure your Mom is right over your shoulder!

Sending love.......Pam

 
Old 11-03-2008, 11:11 AM   #9
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

ibake, My dear sweet friend. I'm so sorry to read that you are having such a bad time. There is little that I can say to help you I know. Just know that I am thinking of you. I hope today is better and this grief that you are feeling will pass soon. Your Mom was special..............so is her daughter.
Love and prayers,
Chris

 
Old 11-03-2008, 03:53 PM   #10
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

Dearest Ibake,
I just saw your message......and wanted to add my thoughts, prayers and a whole lot of love and big big ((((hugs)))) to you. You know, we all here benefit from your constant support and advice....and it is our turn to return the favour for you dear friend.....we are holding the ends of your towel, dont let go!!!!
You know.....as much as it hurts to miss your mom.....and I can only imagine that pain......it only hurts that much because you loved her that much. Isnt that what we all can ask for when we leave this earth, is to be loved and missed by our families....to have touched those we love so that they dont forget us? Your mom has done that.....she was obviously very special, and that shows in the daughter she raised. Be proud that she lives on through you Ibake.....she is with you wherever you go......but it is still okay some days to just plain "miss her like crazy"...
Love and prayers,
Caroline xo

Last edited by mary09; 11-03-2008 at 03:55 PM.

 
Old 11-05-2008, 05:09 PM   #11
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

Dearest Ibake.....
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope you are okay......we hope to hear from you soon.....we are here when you need us.
Lots of love,
Caroline xo

 
Old 11-06-2008, 07:13 AM   #12
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

Dearest Ibake.
I am sending you my prayer and shoulder girlfriend. I walk the valley of grief everyday for the loss of my 48year old husband. He was a wonderful man, absolute bestest Dad in the whole world and was my true soul mate. Our meeting, our wedding plans, our life, and our children were truly directed by the hand of our Lord because everything came to us so eerily easy but not is not to say that our short 22 years werent' without the usual up and downs of life.

I lost my Dad in 1995 and 1 year later to the month, I helped my in-laws through the death of my father-in-law. Some families are hardly touched by death and don't know what it entails. I think it was made to be my father first so I could know and pave the way for helping my other family when it was their turn.

With all the passings of loved ones in my life, I found comfort in books such as The 5 people You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Alborn) 90 Minutes in Heaven (Don Porter), One More Day (Mitch Alborn) and others. the 90 Minutes in Heaven actually described what heaven is like and provided me with comfort in my thoughts.

I want to share with you some truths -- this is not made up believe me:
When my Dad passed, he came through to me and provided tanswers to my questions I had:
1) Immediately I prayed that he'd be the guardian angels looking over my kids. He replied that he can't that they are assigned the children to oversee and it isn't anyone already here because they would've already had their angels assigned to them at their birth.

2) Is there confusions with family dynamics considering that both his father's family and his mother's family are there as well. He said, "no, there's no confusion because its not a true family connection as we know it to be here on earth. You pass or deal with people and you realize by a feeling that you knew them more than others you pass, but there isn't the familial yearnings that you feel as a human.

3) I asked him if he was still in pain and sick. He said 'no'. He stated that our supreme being (whatever your reference title is) makes you whole. If you were without sight, hearing or limbs, you are whole and well upon your entry into heaven. He also shared that he looks pretty good because this supreme being lets you select the way you looked during the best times of your life and that is how you stay.

I think each of these answers were pretty cool and provided me with comfort in knowing that he was well. this was especially important when I loss my husband.

I hope what I wrote here provides you and others comfort as well. Believe or not believe what I wrote but believe that while we hurt everyday, our loved ones are having the time of their lives everyday.

Take Care always and more
CaringSister54

 
Old 11-06-2008, 08:32 AM   #13
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

I agree with your literature Caring. I had previously read "Tuesday's with Morrie" and "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" and just finished reading "One More Day". I obtained "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" audio book and listened to it on my trip this past weekend. Not only is it a glimps into what might come after but is even more insightful in how we should live now. I would also add "The Last Lecture" to your list.

I do believe in Guardian Angels. I do believe our loved ones who have gone before give us thoughts that guide us. It is evident in my life especially in those times when I just know I can't go on..... and keep going

Love, deb

 
Old 11-06-2008, 01:43 PM   #14
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

I have also read those books and agree with your insights on every point!

Love,

Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 11-06-2008 at 01:44 PM.

 
Old 11-06-2008, 04:58 PM   #15
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Re: I don't know if I can make it

You all absolutely have to read 90 Minutes in Heaven. Don Porter was a pastor at a church conference. Driving home, he was hit by a truck being driven by someone who didn't know how to drive a truck that size and it literally drove/rolled over Mr. Porter's car. It was totally crushed with him in it. The responding medics declared him dead only to have another pastor travelling home and coming upon the accident feeling unrelenting pressure to pray for the person in the car. It was such a pulling feeling, he literally got permission to climb into the car through the back window as it was the only way in. He climbed in and started feverent prayer and started to feel the need to sing. Imagine his surprise when the supposed 'dead' person start to sing along with him!

During the 90 minutes Mr. Porter was 'dead' he visited heaven and saw and heard what everyone who passes gets to see and hear. He didn't really tell anyone when he was recuperating about this visit because he thought that no one would believe him. But once he was convinced to tell his story, he is finding that it is helping many people. he travels the country now and has written several books afterward; Daily Devotion and the next was Heaven is Real. While those are okay, I found the writings to be redundant throughout, but 90 Minutes in Heaven is must reading and I just bought the book and gave it to a widow of a co-worker of mine. I wrote that while she may not read it immediately -- it will be there by her side, when she's ready.

This is a powerful story and I feel it is worth reading. Take care to everyone who are taking care of someone in their declining life be it from an illness, or from ALZ or Dementia. Everyone will be rewarded in heaven.

Love to all
CaringSister54

 
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