I started making some calls today, and was making some progress when 12 yr old called and needed a ride home from school. So I asked daddy if he wished to get out of the house for a minute, and go with me. He had no opinion, so I got his coat, his favorite ball cap, his cane, and ushered him to the door. We picked up the boy, and decided McDonalds sounded good. We had a nice little lunch (boy, can my dad EAT!), and came on home.
The weather was getting windy here in Denver, blowing in a storm, and the leaves were blowing around. So daddy decided to sweep a few leaves off the sidewalk. I tied out my daughter's beagle, Maya (have to put her on a 30 ft lead or she will be *zoom!* gone in a flash), and went in my house to change the laundry. I folded a load, started a new one, stuck a casserole in the oven, and then my son said, "Mom? Have you seen Maya?" Well, no, not since I tied her out.
We went outside, and Maya was gone. Furthermore, her 30 ft bright blue tie out was gone as well. Oh great. Daughter is in Las Vegas on business, her dog is long gone, and who the hell stole the tie out? Son goes one way, I go another, and before I jump in the car, I had a thought. The last time I saw Maya was when dad was outside. Do you think?.....
Dad was in the kitchen when I walked in. I asked him if he had seen the tie out. Clearly, someone unhooked it from the basketball hoop..."Well, hell yes!" he said. "Dad. Can you show me the tie out?" Long story short, he unclipped the dog from her lead because he thought she would like to run loose (and I'll bet all the dog thought was, "Wheeeeee!"). Then he carefully coiled the tie out and stuck it under the basketball hoop.
Son found dog, I found tie out, all is well. This time. And when I tried to explain that for Maya's SAFETY she is not to be let loose, I knew I might as well be talking to the stupid dog.
*sigh* I am so READY for daddy to be under constant supervision.
Yep, one more validation that your Dad need constant supervision and that's not you. Glad you found the the dog unharmed and the tie out.... and your Dad. I do believe you have too much to look after girlie I thought for sure you were going to tell me dad had taken Maya in to meet the fat stupid dog!!!!
Keep looking, keep searching, and keep your sanity until you find placement. We are all hanging on to your thread bear towels
Ya wanna know something incredibly stupid, Deb? Even after the social worker and the nurse told me dad was "on the bubble", even after they gave me REAMS of paperwork to wade through, even after I heard that dad had no idea what to do in case of fire....
I STILL thought that with some in home care, adult day care and occasional respite care, he could stay home.
I am SO OVER IT. I now see with unbiased, clear eyes that he has no idea what the hell he is doing. No idea at all. God only knows what's next. Today the daughter's dog, tomorrow...will he smack a neighbor kid? Will he start a fire? Will he tear something up? It's scary, I tell ya.
And when I took dinner to him 30 minutes after the "incident"...he had zero recollection of any kind of issue.
You are right little deb.... there is NO telling what is next. We cannot even comprehend the way their brain works and what they will think of next. They act in good faith but don't have the thought process to be left alone to think on their own. You are right where I was the day Mom landed a couple of punches on the care giver. I realized just like you have that the status quo was NOT working and I had to do something fast. Mom and Dad landed in AL before they knew what happened. Burn up the phone lines until you find something!! This will happen and your Dad will be better for it... as will you Know we are all with you on this journey...
The nurse said something that struck me as odd yesterday. And today, I understand. He said I was in denial. Huh? Me? Denial? No way. Uh, yeah. Me.
Today at lunch, my son got a little taste of the grandpa he hasn't seen. Our Walmart has a McDonalds in it. Since I am making a turtle cheesecake for the progressive dinner this Sunday for church (yeah - the one I can't attend because my dad is untrustworthy), I needed cream cheese. So I parked the boy and grandpa at McDonalds, and hurried up to get to the dairy aisle. And when I checked out and collected my guys, Patrick said to me...
"Mom, our lunch was silent. Grandpa can't talk, I guess. But when we got done eating, grandpa picked up a french fry, pointed it at me, looked me square in the eye as he leaned across the table, and said...'Tweedledum'". Mom, grandpa is losin' it."
Can you imagine? I asked Patrick what he did when grandpa leveled the fry at him and spoke his mind...and Patrick said, "Well, I laughed. What else could I do?"
Yep. Dad has taken a trip over the edge. And I AIN'T goin' with him!
Thanks for the kudos, Deb. It's a tough job. But you and the other angels on her make it easier.
Yes little deb... you have been in some MAJOR denial. I am just happy that you have broken free and are headed in the right direction. I have smiled tonight thinking of all the good nights before you when you know Dad is well cared for... and you can breath.... or go to the church dinner!!