I am on vacation this week......but I am exhausted. Started out with an ultrasound, baby is doing well at 18 weeks. On Monday, part of my tooth broke off so had to go for Emergency visit to the friendly neighborhood dentist.
He gave me an appointment for Wednesday morning to have my tooth repaired, but I had to cancel as I had to spend half the night with MOM in the Emergency room. Dad called me at 3:30am...to tell me they had just called an Ambulance. She had woken up, really bad headache, sweating, had a very intense burning sensation in her chest......so we went to hospital. They did a CT scan to rule out anything in her head (as uncle died from a brain tumor, and mom has had breast cancer twice).....and thank God results were okay. They are saying it was probably a viral infection? What a night! Mom told me she really thought her number was "up". (Lovely words to hear!)
As soon as we get home from the hospital we get a call from Uncle. Grandma is practically ripping the house apart, throwing the pillows from the couch all across the room and screaming at the top of her lungs. Apparently she does this "sometimes". I am amazed at the physical strength she has at the age of 95. Doctor had told Uncle this could be one of two ways that she "goes". Either she'll get so worked up, and could have a stroke OR she could pass away when she goes into one of her really deep sleeps which she does often now. Now she is not having very many "okay" spells, she's either sleeping, or full blown dementia "attacks" as I call them. She is also not eating well at all.
Uncle is really losing it.......and at the end of his rope.
As I read through all the posts on this board, I realize that Grandma should have had professional care long long ago......but this situation is what it is. My uncle has not been able to find any such place like the ones you all have been describing. Oh how I wish. But as you've all told me, Uncle is on this path with her, and it looks like he will play it till the end.
He has been talking with Mom about how bleak his life will be when she is "gone"......and how he wonders if even though his days right now are "hellish", will he wish to have them back? Because what will become of his life once she is gone? I actually told Mom that she should assure him although it will take time, he will get his life back, it will be different, but at least it will be on "his" terms. Sadly, most of his siblings will not speak to him, but he will still have us. I actually told Mom about Martha, and her journey with her mom, how she took care of her, and how she is doing now. I thought that Martha is a great example for Uncle to hear about given the thoughts that are running through his head right now.
So, today had surgery on my gums, he can save my tooth, yippee!!! I go from dental to doctor appointments, to listening to grandmas dilemmas, Uncles woes, and Mom's pains and aches.
Boy this life is complicated........oh what I'd give to be "bored". Thank goodness for the little flutters in my belly that remind me that not everything in life is about physical and mental illness.
On Monday, I'll go to work and my co-workers will ask me "how was your vacation".....and I will say "fine"........although this week has been more exhausting than any work week I've put in for a very long time!!!
That's my update for the week friends.....
Love, Caroline xo
Aw, I feel for you so much. Please take care of yourself and baby...at least that is one thing that will bring you joy beyond imaginable. Flutters in your belly...how sweet, how I remember that! You'll be able to find some happiness with the future of your little one. Best of luck and stay healthy!
Wow, Caroline. Some vacation! Sounds like you have been a very, very busy woman. You need a vacation to recover from your vacation, don't you?
I don't know how you do it. You have a job, a family, an impending baby (awwwww...lucky YOU!), uncle who is a saint for sure, a grandma that is keeping everyone on their toes, and mom. Sheesh. It's a good thing I read these blogs...keeps me humble. And I think I am busy? Ain't nuthin' compared to your life.
You take care of CAROLINE, won't you? Do you know yet if baby is a boy or girl? Do you have a name yet? So glad he/she is doing well. I hope you are, too.
You are in my prayers, Caroline. Take good care...
Caroline, you will be so ready to go back to work by the time Monday comes. Yes, has your uncle ask for mediation to calm your grandmother's rages. It is not good for him or her for her to be that upset. I do hope your Mom only had a viral infection and will be better soon. Good luck on the tooth. But most of all take some time this weekend to enjoy before you head back to work. ..... and enjoy that flutter I do hope the weekend goes a little calmer than your week has been.
Caroline, thanks for the kind words. Good for you that you are getting your gums fixed. I neglected my teeth whie living with Mom, and as a result I have to go for intensive and expensive gum treatments every 3 months -- but so far I still have my teeth!
Yes, I remember those wonderful little flutters and how they soon became real kicks, then crazy acrobatics all night long .... but worth every iota of discomfort.