The answer is YES
Mom was in the throws of major melt down last weekend. She continued it until yesterday morning. She would not even get out of her chair to get dressed without major help and encouragement. There were lots of tears and she had no ability to express what she was feeling. Today... she is a different woman. She's up, doing laundry, telling me about her hair appointment tomorrow, and asking about my daughter. Those are extremes and part of the reason for her laps was a mild UTI but it definitely comes and goes. Any discomfort, upset, or newness can send them into a place where they can not cope.
As for in home care.... that was no easlier than AL has been. My Mom despised having somebody "watch" her all the time. We found an angel of a caregiver that took them to appointments, shopping, cooked, cleaned, and basically treated them as if they were her own parents. She put up with Mom's rants for almost a year. She would call me, have me talk to Mom, walk away while I was talking to her and come back with something she knew Mom would like when I hung up. She would let Mom rant if she needed to without taking it personally. Until that last day when Mom was determined to get rid of that lady. Mom ended up landing two good punches. I agreed that it would never work if Mom was going to be physical. She had never done that before and I know it was a result of the disease but that was a deal breaker. That is when they ended up in AL. We had the best caregiver available but Mom's angst made the situation impossible. Some have had really good luck with in home care but Mom loves her independence. She feels more in control in her apartment now than she did with somebody shadowing her in her own home. Just depends on the person
I hope your experience is much better than mine was but know Mom might not take kindly to somebody with her. I do think it would have helped our situation if family had been closer but we all live 2-4 hours away
I'm keeping you, hubby, and Mom in my thoughts and prayers that this is the answer to your prayers.....