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Old 12-05-2008, 01:47 PM   #1
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Angry Bringing Mom Home !!!!

All of the Drs. agree that Mom should be out of the hospital. She is weak and confused but there are infections on the floor that she can easily get. No real diagnosis yet. The pathology report has not come back on her colon or the CAT scan with contrast report is not in. But Mom is out!!

The central line is coming out as we speak. This exact thing has happened before..........within 24 hrs. she is back in ER. I've done all I can do to stop this discharge but its still happening. I understand their reasons believe me. But I know Mom and have taken care of her for 20 years. I hate to sound negative but I feel like its Ground Hog Day all over again.

She walked to the bathroom with the walker this morning and held down some toast so I guess thats good enough for them. Do I sound bitter??? You Bet Ya, I am sick about the entire hospital nightmare.

I'm headed out soon. My younger Sis is going to help me transport her back to AL. Mom has called 12 times to tell me she can go home. "Where is home"? "I know where it is Mom. I'll take you". "OK honey if you say so".
God help us..........
With love to all
Chris
I need a BIG CRYING TOWEL...........The one I have is full of tears ladies.

Last edited by DrewsG; 12-05-2008 at 01:56 PM.

 
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Old 12-05-2008, 03:05 PM   #2
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

I'm praying for you Chris. This is such a bad solution. You need to get her into a nursing home. Home care is too much for anyone, as dementia gets worse and worse. A NH has all the necessary ways and means. At this point your Mom may also be covered by Hospice. Those Hospice nurses were wonderful to my Mom for the last half year of her life.

Love,

Martha

 
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Old 12-05-2008, 03:09 PM   #3
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

i feel so bad, but your mom is ok. can she go into a nursing home?

 
Old 12-05-2008, 06:05 PM   #4
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

Martha is right.... your Mom definitely would qualify for Hospice and they hav wonderful nurses and caregivers that can give you and your sisters a break. I am truly sorry that the hospital experience has been so negative. Hopefully your mother will rally and grow stronger every day. I can hear the bitterneses in your typing and for that my heart goes out to you and your mom. Hang in there. Keep being your Mom's advocate. You are doing all you can. If she deteriorates.... take her back and keep demanding. In the meant time we have tons of towels and we are holding on to a corner of each of them for you. I am sending you big hugs, lots of love, and my thoughts and prayers.

Love, deb

 
Old 12-06-2008, 10:42 AM   #5
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

Oh Chris,

What a tough break...Your Mom needs to be in NH and right now. But telling you that isn't going to take care of the problem right now, is it? Hang on hon, we've got the the towel, the extra ebsorbant ones in fact...and they're here for you. We're all holdong onto them for you and to hold you up so that you don't put too much stress on that knee.

Get Mom settled and start getting another place lined up for her. She needs the extra help and you need the release from her care. Everyone will benefit. We are all praying for your Mom. And if looks could kill we would all line up at the bedside of your Mom and stare down the staff if it would help.....

Hang in there......

 
Old 12-06-2008, 12:02 PM   #6
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

I'm sorry friends. My post was negative I know. But it comes from exhaustion, frustration and hurt. I'm overwhelmed.
I'm going to start looking at NH"s in this area. Whenever I get back on my feet. Both of my knees are hurting. Nothing I can't deal with now

Martha, I know your right in my head, I know. I wish I could make my heart listen. I keep thinking maybe she will be able to get by in AL when the steroids and benadryl are stopped. Her hives are still terrible. She must stay on the steroids until we get some kind of diagnosis. They really mess with her brain.
I know its coming my friend. I wish I had a place that was as good as your Moms NH. I've been in quite a few here. I can't place Mom in any of them. YUCK!!!!

deb, ibake, Thank you for your kind words. And the towels of course. Boy do I look a mess!! Crying does not do one good thing for these tired, old eyes. I look like Roudolph (sp?) my brain is blank. I've noticed how much I'm misspelling words lately. Geeeeeeeeeeez!!!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm in the early stages of dementia myself. Can't imagine why???? Can you guys?? It scares me when I can't find words. It gives me a small taste of what our LO's are feeling. Dr. says its stress..............OK I'll go with that diagnosis. LOL

I think I'll try to take a short rest here now. Sleep did not happen last night.
Love to all,
Chris

I'm so thankfull to have you ALL in my life. I wish we could have a sleep over here at my house. Wine, snacks, roaring fire in the fireplace and laughter. What a treat that would be.............

 
Old 12-06-2008, 02:35 PM   #7
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

I do hope you get some rest Chris. You are definitely suffering from an overload of stress, disappointment, confusion, frustration, anger, and aggitation. It's amazing you can remember ANY words. Yes, you needed to vent your frustrations and there is no better place to throw them than here. We are with you. You need to give those knees a break and give yourself a break as well.

All the complications your mom has does make it difficult for her to maintain in AL. I do know how steriods mess with the brain. Our first introduction to the world of Mom's dementia was an episode of prednesone psychosis. For a few weeks she was worse than she is now and that was before we even knew she had a problem. The benedryl will make her sluggish as well. Hopefully you will have a diagnosis soon and know what's going on with her.

In the mean time you are doing all that you can and the rest is left to a higher power. Keep checking into nursing homes if that is what is needed. There is one somewhere that will suit your wishes. Just take it one step at a time and this step, right now, is for you to get some rest. Roll up a towel, lay down your head, and do some deep slow breathing until the stress lessons.

We are here with you and continue to send you our thoughts and prayers.

Love, Deb

 
Old 12-07-2008, 06:22 PM   #8
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

Hang in there! The combination of running to the hosptial, trying to corner the Doctors with some information and lack of sleep can be such a deadly mix.
Take one night and just come home and relax try to get a good nights sleep.
It can be very frustrating trying to deal with doctors and getting info . I have found you really have to be aggressive and pin them down. Ask all kinds of questions. Generally they are gone in a split second out of the room so you have to think quick with what tyou need to ask. It's not easy I don't know how many times after the fact I would think Oh I should have asked this or did this. We are only human. We just do the best we can. That's all you can do... Get some well deserved rest. I am thinking of you.
Love Pauline

 
Old 12-08-2008, 08:40 AM   #9
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Re: Bringing Mom Home !!!!

Chris, deep breathes, in and out.. get some air down into you and get the poisons out....you need rest honey. I hope you got a good nights sleep so you can face the day...and this is how you are going to face it. One thing at a time. When you are stressed and tired and overwhelmed the whole world rushes in at you and it's awful. Been there.

The best thing to do is to do one thing. Focus on the one thing that you want to do today and stick with that. That way you can use the small amount of energy that you have to good use. Work on finding that NH for your mom. So, just keep the focus. Make sure that YOU are getting enough to eat and drink also. You have to take care of you as well as your Mom. IF you go down, so will the world dear.

Try to keep your focus, stay hydrated, rest, and hang onto that towel. We have you surrounded and we are holding tighter than you can believe honey..and you are in our prayers and hearts.....

 
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