hi all....i apologize if this question is too depressing but do any of you worry about your own future? my grandmother, my mother, my grandfather on my fathers side and my uncle on my fathers side. and i come from a very small family. i'm an only child, my mother was an only child and my father only had one brother. i'm doing the math here....oh geez this isn't looking good for me is it?
i find now at 50 that every time i forget ANYTHING, and i am forgetting alot of stuff, i start thinking "oh no my poor kids, my poor kids,,there're gonna have to watch me wandering around looking for my wallet and asking them 23,000 times a day if they're hungry."
I know i'm making light of a devastating situation but do any of you guys worry about this?
hi all....i apologize if this question is too depressing but do any of you worry about your own future? my grandmother, my mother, my grandfather on my fathers side and my uncle on my fathers side. and i come from a very small family. i'm an only child, my mother was an only child and my father only had one brother. i'm doing the math here....oh geez this isn't looking good for me is it?
i find now at 50 that every time i forget ANYTHING, and i am forgetting alot of stuff, i start thinking "oh no my poor kids, my poor kids,,there're gonna have to watch me wandering around looking for my wallet and asking them 23,000 times a day if they're hungry."
I know i'm making light of a devastating situation but do any of you guys worry about this?
Sometimes I do - but then I quickly remind myself of all the research going on and reassure myself that by the time I get it, if I do, there will be a cure. Anyway, I want to enjoy the rest of my life and not worry about what sickness or accident will take me away in the end.
I refuse to spend my time worrying about something that is totally our of my control. I eat right, try to do the best I can to keep in shape and exercise etc. To sit and worry about this is allowing it a space in my mind that I refuse to allow it! It is like letting it live rent free and that's not gonna happen. There are too many things that are worth while to worry about! LOL. I have enough other things in my life that I can stress about. I lost both of my parents to this and I refuse to justify it any more of my life! YOu can give it as much or as little as you choose. It is your choice. ANd I chose not to give it much....
i do worry about it. i dont ever want to live like that. but its not worth the worry because you have to enjoy yourself at the present time and make the most of your life.
I'm holding IBake up on the soap box because she said exactly what I would say and I would follow that with Martha and what she said.
My Grandmother had it, several of her siblings had it, several aunts have had it, Mom as is it.... then we have dad's side and the vascular problems rampant in every member of the family. I don't know how many of Dad's siblings would have it because only a few has lived past 60... and at 88 he has lived longer than any of his siblings. So I have a double jepardy from both sides.
But I refuse to worry about it. What will be will be and I intend to live the best life I can until I am gone without worrying about what might be... especially things I cannot change. I am going to expect a cure before I get there
hummm, guys, i seem to have struck a nasty chord here, i would have said exactly what you did...i refuse to think about that. But in all honesty, your responses tell me that maybe you do think about it, more than you would like to acknowledge. an explosive question, i know.....
Last edited by upatnite58; 12-15-2008 at 05:51 PM.
to put it mildly or more so -- to put it bluntly -- the question of genetics and Alz and Dementia is like the gorilla in the room.
But I agree with everyone else. God has put us all here on earth to do his bidding in the time he alots. I truly think all of this stuff while around for ages is escalated based on the chemicals they spray on the food as preservatives, etc.
I am here to live life to the fullest. After loosing my Mikey, I'm not about to sit around and wait for life to pass me by. I try to keep busy, I'm working on a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. I also read a lot and I date my boyfriend as much as possible. Being he's a widower as well, we both know how fast it could be over.
Live life ladies and gents. What is passed is the past, what is ahead is the future and you are unwrapping the present everyday. God's present is the ability to do what you can, with what you have, for the good of everyone including yourself.
A favorite saying of mine "look not back with regrets but ahead with anticipation!"
Sure I have thought about it Upatnight. But there is a difference between knowing it's a possibility and worrying about it. When the question is brought up I do have an answer. But on a daily basis it rarely crosses my mind. I don't look at Mom and think.... oh that will be me in a few years. I look at Mom and wonder what I can do to make her life better. I do take care of myself and do the things I should so I will be healthy but that is not necessarily just to ward off ALZ. So if the question is, have I thought about it, the yes I have. If the question is, do I worry about it, no I don't. I have made that choice in my life... just like I don't worry about getting hit by a car when I bicycle. Can it happen? Yes it can. Have I thought about it? Of course I have and that is why I have a rear view mirrow, flashers, and a helmet. Do I worry about it? NO, because if I did I wouldn't be riding 30 miles a week I am conscious of the possibility, I do what is necessary to say as healthy as possible, but in no way will I spend my life worrying about it. That takes away my hear and now.... and that is all I truly have
thx dgabriel, that's the response i think i needed to hear. i don't calculate the odds when i go out to run either. never thought about it that way. thank you.
I took have thought about it, BUT I have decided that I refuse to give it space in my worry banks. Life is precious and I have too many things that I value and place worth on that I would worry about before that! There is nothing that I can do about it, so why worry about it? I refuse to allow it space to fester in my mind rent free...It can live somewhere else then. I don't have time to waste on things that I can't control and it isn't worth it...
Hmmmmmm......I think you've brought up a very valid question.
I don't think you're asking if any of us spend a lot of time worrying about our own future...you are bringing to light an honest question that I'm sure each of us have thought about! I know I have...and it's almost too intimidating to think about. I purposely keep my life VERY BUSY so I don't have to think about all the "stuff" going on in my life....I call it my "Scarlett O'Hara approach to life"...(I'll think about it tomorrow.....)
When my Mom was first diagnosed 10 years ago, her 6 "children" each found themselves noticing little similiarities in our own behavior to hers........subtle little things, but nonetheless worrisome! Each of us visited our doctors without the others knowing! Most of us are past 50...and were relieved to find out NORMAL aging was the suspect! WHEW! We have not, however ignored the genetic possibilities that we all possess.
Now, after 10 years of watching the deterioration in Mom...(and also of BOTH inlaws) I can better understand the pattern of this disease...it's been quite an interesting journey.
* My Mom is in the last stage; always had been a very healthy little woman who ate seaweed in the 50's...homemade bread before those bread machines...and missed her dandelion salads when first placed in the Alzheimer's facility! Her body still seems somewhat healthy, but has been betrayed by the brain deterioration.
* MIL died almost a year ago from this disease...which progressed much more quickly. (4 years after diagnosis) She simply seemed to give up at the end...but surprised us all by looking directly at her son and asking "Will you be going to the funeral" in understandable words. She died the next day.
* FIL was diagnosed 5 years ago; is in a local medical facility...and has become a very docile old fella...much different than the angry, controlling Father his sons remember.
* My 2 children and I see obvious changes in their father, who also is in a second remission from leukemia...I find myself more worried about him and the possibilities he faces than myself.
Do I think about my own chances to come under the grasp of this disease? Yes...once in a while. Do I let it influence my life...I hope not.
Too much going on.....I'll think about it tomorrow.......Pam
thx petal, a most honest response to what i think is a valid (maybe too valid) question. i worry about it too. but should i worry about it to the extent that i give my children "the talk". ????
Hi upatnight
I'm not sure about what you mean by the the "talk" to your children. My mother has been living with us for a few months now and my adult children who still live with us know what it's like to have this didease first hand. I regard our genetic makeup a bit like the cards we've been dealt -- nothing much we can do about it at this stage . Maybe with G engineering there will be a cure . In the meantime I don't see the point in worrying about it. We will deal with whatever comes our way the best we can and that is all any of us can do. We have to get on with life and try not to focus on the miseryand remember to raise your hand for help . Here in Australia the respite centres help save the carers' sanity in providing the much needed break from the relentless stress that comes with living with someone with Alz. . If i allowed myself to dwell on the possibilities of my life heading this way I think I would go quite mad with depression.
Love , M
thx petal, a most honest response to what i think is a valid (maybe too valid) question. i worry about it too. but should i worry about it to the extent that i give my children "the talk". ????
Hmmmm....ANOTHER valid question you've asked! We all have to realize our own children are seeing first hand the changes in US that this disease brings along with it. They see loved ones related to them become tangled and distant...and cannot help but notice how much "family" has changed.
My own grown children have seen my life pulled in many directions...sometimes almost purposley keeping myself extra busy so I don't have to seriously think about it! Having survived an abusive alcaholic husband (recovered), loss of a child, divorce...remarriage to same man, on...and on...and on............I know much about that "martyr complex", and try hard every day to leave it behind me! It would be so easy to feel sorry for myself about situations I have no control of...like loved ones with this disease.
My kids know very well how this disease has fractured my family.
I have relied on their love and advice to pull me thru the most difficult times...and they love me regardless of decisions I have made. I have already discussed options with the two of them...and we are able to have candid talks of what may lie ahead. They are my anchors!
Both have reminded me of Grandma's hoarding habits (took 3 siblings and I a year to empty her house)...and hint I better watch it!
Didn't mean to ramble, but I admire your "right-to-the-point" questions!....Pam
My daughter is very aware of what is happening with her grandparents. She has seen my struggle with my parents and my siblings. She is also aware that one day that might be me. It was her that first approached me about it rather than the other way around. We had a serious talk and then we went on to something else. My daughter has a good head on her shoulders and will do what is best for us both. I have not shielded her from the reality of what is going on, I have been honest with her about my feelings, and I leave the rest to her....
