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Old 12-21-2008, 09:42 AM   #1
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took the bull by the horns

Thought I'd let you know what happened when I phoned edinburgh to let them know I was coming up on Tues. Phoned today (sun). No concern as to how my health was. My brother informed me that my mum has had a few mini strokes last week. I got really upset - off the phone. Didn't say anything to him as to why I was being informed now! It would only have let an opportunity open for him to vent his aggression. My husband has said that I need to get perspective on this recent situation. If it's around I cant feel it? It's like he's in some way punishing me for not going up to help due to me getting ill. That's the only reason I can think off for this current development.

This will pass I know, but I feel all churned up inside.

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

Hope you all enjoy the holiday xx mentalmum

 
Old 12-21-2008, 04:33 PM   #2
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Re: took the bull by the horns

Mental... those that are unhappy will try their best to make you as unhappy as they are. I am not sure they even do it intentionally. They probably do it out of selfish preoccupation with their own misery and it is not necessarily directed at you. As I have said before.... know who you are and what you are trying to do. Do the best you can and know that is all you can do. You can not change others.... you can only change your response to what they say and do. This too will pass and there will be other incidents before it is over. At some point you will realize that it is not an assault on you but a miserable attempt on your brother's part to satisfy some sickness within himself. So don't think it is a direct result of anything you have done.... it is just the way it is.

I'm there with you After two days with my sister

Love, deb

 
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Old 12-22-2008, 01:56 AM   #3
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Re: took the bull by the horns

I know I know what you say to be sensible. I feel like one of those new young children at school and you have to go through the process of progressing to being accepted on some level. At the moment I feel very "young" I know I will refine myself and toughen up. I am way too sensitive, and my brother is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Because of the different way my mother tret us, we'll never meet in the middle. Like you say there will be more incidents before the end. I shall just have to gird up and push on. Liked the google-eyed icon after two days with your sister.

xx mental

 
Old 12-22-2008, 03:06 AM   #4
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Re: took the bull by the horns

Have a good trip, stay calm, let certain people's remarks roll off your back like water off a duck, see your Mom, inform yourself as to her condition (you know your brother makes everything sound worse than it is!) and go home peacefully.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 12-22-2008, 05:53 AM   #5
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Re: took the bull by the horns

Somtimes I think kismet, fate, God, higher power, something causes things to occur that forces different things to happen.

Somehow someone intervened to make you unavailable for brother so he'd have to deal with everything related to Mother. While you feel you were kept or are being kept out of the loop, look at it as someone doesn't think your day-to-day involvement is needed.

While you may feel the stars are against you and prevented you from doing more, I look at it that the stars shined upon you and made it so you couldn't be much help because if you had a choice you would've been more involved.

Let it go. Go up, visit, say howdy ho and come home to that wonderful husband you have.

Its devine intervention and you shouldn't question or fight it.

have a great visit. looking forward to hearing you more peppy when you get back

 
Old 12-22-2008, 07:06 AM   #6
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Re: took the bull by the horns

caringsister...as I mentioned before...there's a REASON for your username!

A beautiful and thoughtful post our friend needed to hear!........p

 
Old 12-22-2008, 07:57 AM   #7
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Re: took the bull by the horns

Mental,

You know that your brother is cranky because you haven't been there for him to dump on. He only wanted full control in him mind-not in actuality. That is far too much work as he has found out. NOw that he has it all, he is mad! Funny how that works, isn't it?

Now he is trying to make you feel bad because he has all this work and he is "overburdened and overworked and crabby." Shada...The only thing that really matters here is how your mom is....

So put a smile on your face and visit with your mom....When he complain, you just say, "oh? so sorry...." and go on with your conversation. It's his problem, not yours. All he wants to do is to make you as miserable as he is. Misery loves company...as the saying goes. So keep the smile on your face it will bug him far more than anything you can do!

 
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