Local tragedy strikes here...I won't tell Mom.. - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

sunnydaze1 · 02-14-2009, 09:05 PM

I'm sure most of you have heard by now about the plane that went down near Buffalo. Sadly, this happened about 7 miles from my home. I heard about it 10 minutes after it happened...I still cannot believe this went down here...hard to comprehend.

Friday, the morning after the crash, I went to see Mom and she was sitting in front of the TV in the Den watching the news regarding the crash. It didn't register at all, and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up being that I'm flying to Florida next month. Every time I talk to her that I'm visiting my brother, she gets worried because I'm going to fly.

I guess I just need some confidence in knowing I'll be okay, and to tell my Mom I'll be okay. I'm flying on an Airbus A-320 which landed in the Hudson last month. I think I feel safer knowing I'll be on that than those little commuter planes, which is the one that crashed here.

Please send some prayers up for the victims and their familes. I'm not sure if my post is appropriate or not, but 50 people lost their lives here and it's not something this community will ever forget.

Any advice to tell my Mom as to not to worry? Amazing how her brain can be removed from reality, but when it comes to her baby girl (meaning me) she can be as sharp as a tack and not want anything to happen to me. She's the best Mom, and still knows I'm her daughter. That's a blessing in and of itself.

petal*pusher · 02-14-2009, 09:49 PM

Oh Sunny......I'm just so sorry you are going thru this challenge.

This IS a shocking tragedy...and yes, it's appropriate to discuss it here. You are correct in sheilding your Mom from exactly what has happened so near to all of you. She simply would not understand.

Please don't let this tragedy make you afraid of flying. It is so much more dangerous on our roadways! I fly 2-3 times a year...and know I'm safer in the air than down here on our roads...but I DO understand what you're thinking.

Thank you for taking the time to remember the loved ones of those who were lost...and for being the tender-hearted daughter you are! XOXO Pam

sunnydaze1 · 02-14-2009, 10:07 PM

Thanks Pam. It's hard enough for me to tell her I'll be gone a week, but after this tragedy, I just don't want her to know what really happened.

Of course, she'll probably know because of all the chatter between staff etc. (but maybe she won't remember?)

I'm trying not to be afraid. It's just that this tragedy happened in my own "back yard" so to speak that has me leary.

I know, thousands of flights have flown today uneventful. I keep telling myself that.

Gabriel · 02-15-2009, 01:01 AM

It's hard to shelter them from events when the TV is going, staff and family are talking, and even some residents pick up on it. Yet they tend to forget, not comprehend the enormity of the event, or not connect it to themselves. Flying is much safer than driving. I remember seeing how many dots were on a national map that I saw once. Each little dot was a plane in the air at that moment. When you compare that to the few incidents we have the safety record makes it the safest way to travel. We take a bigger risk every time we drive to the grocery store.

As for your Mom, Mom's will worry!!! Her concern is centered around her and therefore you because you are important to her. Just reassure her the best you can and don't make a big deal out of it. For her, the events of the last few weeks in your area and on the Hudson will be lost news.

The crash was a tragedy for all those involced and their loved ones. As my friend the fireman used to tell me about any accident victim, somebody's life just took a major hit so pray for them and those they left behind. I lost my frustration from sitting in traffic because of an accident after he reminded me. Now I just use that time to pray for those involved.

Love, deb

Martha H · 02-15-2009, 04:15 AM

I thought about you when I heard about that crash.

I am also flying soon - to Florida for my son's wedding in March, and to NY to see my brother in May. I have some fear - above all beause the first leg of my journey to NY is on a small commuter plane. But when we think of how many road accidents there are, flying is actually much safer.

You were right not to tell your Mom. It is scary enough to be locked in an irrational world, without having to worry about the really terrible things that happen outside.

Love.

Martha