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Old 02-15-2009, 12:36 AM   #1
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Final Update from CaringSister

To all my board-buddiesL
iBake, Martha, Deb, Lil Deb, Pam, Polina, Chris,Dorri, and many more I've come to know but too many to keep writing out here. My thanks for the towels, love, and support you shared with me over these few weeks.

Just wanted to share that my mother passed away at 1:10 A.M. today and has been allowed eternal peace with my Lord and others who passed before her. -- while this seems to have come as a surprise to my sister, it was something, as you all know, that we were expecting.

At least this dreaded disease has one less person to pull through the circus rings.

Keep everyone in each others thoughts and prayers. This horror that brought us all together is one of the presents God gave me when I use to ask him "why". I guess one of the reasons was "to meet and talk with others who are on the same road".

Its been a 15+ year long battle but at least her 'bad' wasn't until the last year or two but that felt like it was forever and tended to rob us of any memories we had of better times.

As the days progress, I know the better times memories wll start to come up and it will help us hopefully forget the horror of the last year. Kinda like when you had a baby and they place it in your arms after you suffered through 30+ hours of hard labor. You seem to forget all the pain the moment they place that baby in your arms and you stare into their faces.

One other blessing in all this -- we don't have to deal with the U.S. crap with medicaid, hospice, etc. Thank God and Amen. They've been a real bear to deal with and they know they do it when people are under the most stress

God Bless my Sister and all the caregivers for what you do, including those in facilities.

Love
Your CaringSister54

Last edited by caringsister54; 02-15-2009 at 12:48 AM.

 
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Old 02-15-2009, 03:09 AM   #2
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Dear Diane,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss When my mother passed away I felt a strange mixture of feelings, and you may also. Relief that her suffering was over, sadness that I would no longer hear her voice, and deep grief. As a daughter of a dementia victim you have already started grieving long before she died.

I wish you peace as you go through the arrangements for your Mom's funeral. When you see her lying in that coffin, remember that she is not there. That is only the last outfit she wore. Her real self is alive and well and free from every trace of irrationality. I already told you how my Mom left me a red feather here in Indiana while I was in NY at her funeral. There is no time or space limitation where she is now.

I pray that God will give you the strength for the next few days. He will. You have been and always will be a caring sister.

Love and prayers,

Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 02-15-2009 at 03:10 AM.

 
Old 02-15-2009, 04:51 AM   #3
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

I'm so sorry for your loss, Diane....but she is now free and whole again. I wish you peace in the coming days, and know that she is in a much better place. I hope your sister is able to get through this....reading about how your sister was dealing with all of this reminds me of how my oldest brother handles things....with blinders on. When I called him to tell him of mom's passing last month, he bawled and couldn't believe it.

Like Martha said, the grief period is so long for those who are affected by dementia. I felt like I had been grieving for 3 years....each day a little more of mom left us, and each day a little more grief.

Know that your mom is now free, and is smiling down on both of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Last edited by fourt9rkim; 02-15-2009 at 04:55 AM.

 
Old 02-15-2009, 04:55 AM   #4
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

I truely believe they are going in a much better place. They are happy and free. We will all be together in the end. Much harder for us to see them go. Take care and thank you for all your wisdom that you have give me. I will put you in my prayers.

Cheryl

 
Old 02-15-2009, 05:29 AM   #5
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Dear Diane...

Sending you prayers and sympathies this morning, so sorry to hear this news. I hope you and your sister can find some peace now knowing your mother is no longer suffering and is at peace. But for now, I know it is a terrible loss, and I want to offer my support and prayers......

God bless you all at this time......
Love, Caroline xo

 
Old 02-15-2009, 06:35 AM   #6
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Diane

When I read your post a part of me felt that I to lost a family member. We as people become so intertwined on this board. We may never see one another face to face but what we share on a daily basis through our words is something that binds us together like a family. I felt a loss in my heart after reading your post. I felt a member of the family is gone. Your mom has suffered so much through the years. Traveled on this journey for so long and endured so much that this final leg of the journey is now going to bring only peace to her.

Love Pauline

 
Old 02-15-2009, 06:46 AM   #7
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Oh Dear Diane,

My first thought was not again...but that is just plain selfish. you momma is at peace and her stuggle has ended. She doesn't have to struggle for words and scream in anger. She is free to be the person she was before this dreaded disease struck her down and pulled the very life from her body and brain.

You have an empty feeling. It's a relief to have her gone because she isn't suffering any more, but you wonder what else could have been done. Don't wonder. You did everything that you could do for her. There way nothing left that you could have done to make life bearable for her..the disease had robbed her of that.

Know that we are suffering with you, and are also rejoicing with you. Your mother is free at last. Dianer, I am so sorry for your loss. Know that we are all wrapping you in our towels and holding you tight. As tight as you need...you are in my prayers...Jill

 
Old 02-15-2009, 08:20 AM   #8
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Oh Diane...I'm just so sorry...

So many have written beautiful words of comfort...and my sincere sympathies join them. Such a tough journey this has been...not only in seeing this disease ravage your Mother...but the challenges of understanding how your sister has dealt with it. She needs you now...and you need her.

Please know I'm sending good vibes your way, my friend...and I love what was already written...you ARE a caring sister.............Pam


We all hope you still post often..........

 
Old 02-15-2009, 09:38 AM   #9
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Diane,

I'm so sorry and you have my deepest sympathy. Your Moms suffering is over. You did what you could. I hope for you and sister some much deserved rest and peace of mind.

I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs.

Love, Chris

 
Old 02-15-2009, 01:28 PM   #10
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Let me add that that my thoughts and prayers and tears are with you.
Her long journey has entered a new and happier place filled with those from her past..
Love, Meg

 
Old 02-15-2009, 01:46 PM   #11
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Thank you one and all. We are a family - anyone that cares for another feelings is a family member and that is us. This is why we can yell at one another when someone needs a good talk-to. We tell it like it is and that is refreshing. We say what needs to be said not what we may want to hear and again, that's family.

I love all of you as if you were in the same room as us. My Sister and I went over and confirmed the final arrangements, giving them a picture of what Mom use to look like. Thank God we don't have to deal with that bull of the medicaid group.

Oh well, just have to get through the Tuesday viewing and the Wednesday burial and then deal with things one day at a time.

Love you all
your CaringSister54

 
Old 02-15-2009, 01:47 PM   #12
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Just get through today and we'll handle tomorrow, tomorrow.

Love,Meg

 
Old 02-15-2009, 03:14 PM   #13
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

I'm sorry I missed your post and didn't respond sooner. I'm sorry for your loss. Even though the last while has been hard on your sister and yourself, it still hurts a lot to lose someone who was so special through out your life, your mother.
May peace follow your mom, and may you both find peace knowing she is at peace now without confusion or pain.

Hugs

dorri

 
Old 02-15-2009, 03:34 PM   #14
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

Hi Diane,
I just was reading Dorri's post...and saw your response to her, and want to send you my prayers again for your loss, but also that you will now be able to focus on your health, and feel well again.
We all want you to be healthy dear friend, please take the time now to focus on yourself, and be well.
Love, Caroline xo

 
Old 02-15-2009, 06:46 PM   #15
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Re: Final Update from CaringSister

hey Caring,

I post over here now and then regarding my Grandmother---but have been following your story of your Mom----and I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I understand it comes with so many mixed feelings. It is such a terrible disease----but as you said she is with the Lord now---and is completely healed and back with your Daddy too.
Hang on to your happy memories of better days, and you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Tracie

 
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