Missing money - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

jannar · 02-17-2009, 05:35 PM

I had a good laugh yesterday. My brother has had a very difficult time accepting our mother's diagnosis of Alzheimers. He has always felt she was jut "goofy". He went to visit my mother last weekend and she convinced him that she needed some money. I have told him numerous times that our mother is not capable of handling money even when she makes up reasons for the money. He gave her $40 and had her show him where she was going to put it. He gave her a lecture on what she could use the $$ to purchase. Well, today she called him to let him know that he must have come back and stolen the $40 since it was gone. He lives two hours away from the assisted living facility which made accusing him even more laughable to me. He called me and said that she lost the $$ and he now understands what I have been saying all along. Heaven knows where the $40 went--but I don't think she will be talking my brother into more $$ in the near future.

Gabriel · 02-17-2009, 10:19 PM

Jannar, if $40 was all it took to turn your brother around it was money well lost. It will probably turn up and it will turn out to be a free lesson. At least brother now realizes that Mom is something beyond goofy. I can just see the smile that spread across your face with his revolation. Yep, that's a good story

Love, deb

ibake&pray · 02-18-2009, 07:18 AM

LOL.

MY mom was always telling dad she needed money. She would get out her wallet and open it and show him that she had no money. Well, it was a big deal for my mother when she was working that the one thing she had wanted was to have $10,000.00 in her checking account "just once in her life." Well, Mom worked hard at her job and she worked for 11 years as the Bakery Coordinator for the 4th largest Food Broker-Nash Finch- in the Nation. And she finally did get that magical-for her-amount in her checking account. Dad decided that with the disease he should have the money moved inth the joint account. Man did the fur fly when Mom realized that there was next to no money in her account! the 4th of July had nothing compared to the fireworks that went on in their apt. that day! Holy Smokes. Dad was trying to make sure that mom didn't lose the money and Mom was trying to decapitate Dad!

When Mom was in the locked unit Dad would finally put two or three dollars in mom's wallet to appease her...and to get her off of his back! She would take her wallet and walk with him and go on and on how she had worked all her life and here she was with a wallet and not even one lousy dollar to show for all of her work. Yeah , she knew he was out boozing it up without her and spending it without her. She even supposed that dad was going to the casino on the reservation without her! I had to chuckle at that. Alcoholism runs in Dad's family so dad rarely takes a beer much less goes out boozin. I doubt that Dad even knows were a bar is!

Gabriel · 02-18-2009, 08:11 PM

Money seems to be a sticky point with most of our loved ones. Dad wants a $20. So I put a $20 in his wallet. He would ask about supper, and how much it cost. Then he would look in his wallet, see the $20 and be happy. That $20 has been lost and found and washed and replaced several times over the last 16 months.... but he still has a $20 bill last time I looked

Dad worked hard all of his life at two jobs. Mom worked but her fortay was being a wizard in the stock market. Dad has his two retirements but Mom has her portfolio. They consistently argue about who's money it is and who did the most

Mom on the other hand looked at her current financial statement and decided she couldn't use that much money so she was going to give most of it away to charities. !!!EEEEEKKKKK!!!! Between the gifting that she did, necessary expenditures, and the current stock market she has about half of what she had 3 years ago. It's going to be a crap shoot, depending on the stock market, if there is enough money for their care.... and she wants to give it away. Today I am glad that I have to be notified before anything is moved withdrawn!!!!!

Love, deb

debbie g · 02-19-2009, 03:00 PM

what a story that is. your brother learned the hard way since not believing you!