I hope Mom will adjust to this new apt. Its larger and 16 units closer to the elevators and laundry room. Its a handicapped apt. Larger bathroom so she can take her walker in with her and a larger living room for her wheelchair.
We are all going early in the morning to make the move. Moms apt is full of her stuff. So much stuff that its going to take us all day I'm sure. Sisters and their husbands, of course me and my husband. We'll be busy. I expect Mom to be a little disoriented and confused at first. I think this will help her. in the long run. She cannot make the trip down the hall and has to wait for someone to get her for meals. She calls and says they have forgotten her. Then I talk until they come for her. By then she's all messed up and anxious. Its so much closer to the dining hall and activities. We're hoping for the best with this move. Not sure how long she is going to be able to stay in AL but for however long it is, I think this is going to be a good thing. Its a long walk for me when I have to haul things into the facility where she is now. Pushing her is starting to really hurt my bad back. I'm happy. I pray Mom will be happy. I'm keeping a positive attitude. See I'm smiling......
Chris, you might want to try what we did with Dad. Take her to an activity, to lunch, let her sit with her friends in the living area, or otherwise keep her busy outside of the room while you move her stuff. Put it as nearly like her other room as possible. That way you can just bring her back into her new apartment with all of her stuff there and some sense of familiarity as well. Dad stayed with my brother in law, who delivered him after everything was in place.
You might want to use this as an opportunity to eliminate some of the stuff. Things Mom can no longer use or even knows is there. Those things that you can't take out while she is looking. Mom pitches a fit when an out of date magazine goes into the trash but hasn't figured out why we all bring these huge tote bags with us to her room .
I do wish you well tomorrow. Let the strong backs and knees do the heavy lifting. I hope your Mom adjust well and this turns out to be a good move for you both. My thoughts will be with you tomorrow
We do the same thing..we move out stuff when she isn't aware..not too long ago we went in and emptied about a third of her closet..it was becoming too much for her to deal with...and as I take her dirty clothes out I grab a few extra that are getting a bit tattered.
I do the exact same thing with Moms "stuff". I bring laundry home then when I take it back, my laundry bag is full again !! She does notice and asks what on earth is in my bag! I have all of her extra clothes here stored away. She hasn't missed the extra 5 winter coats that I have either! Her walk- in closet is big....not that big. She will wear the same sweater or blouce for days. Those go home with me for a while. She loves red. So the red things are here now. I guess I should take them back. She'll have one on tomorrow. Amazing how we all have learned little tricks to help them get by in their world.
We'll take her to the dining room for lunch and they have bingo after that if she will agree to go. I know there will be some anxious time for her. We're hoping to distract her. I'm hoping with all of us there it won't take too long. Of course Mom has a large number of things for her walls. Oh yes, this is going to be fun........But I'm excited for her. Sister #1 said she wasn't sure when she could get there. Why not? But thats Sister #1. She can't move until noon. Oh well.........The rest of us will be there at 8.
There is a lady there that has nothing. I mean nothing. A small love seat, a twin bed and thats it. Nothing else. So my husbands truck will be full of "stuff" for her. Geez I don't want to adopt another lady but she is a sad case. So sweet, without family. I have end tables and lamps and a side table to put next to her bed. After years of marriage my storage room in the basement is full. More "stuff" I can't imagine who I get that from?
I'm looking forward to today ladies. Say a little prayer for Mom. My butt will be draging the floor tonight. LOL. Have to run and get ready.
Well the move went just perfect. If working until you drop can be perfect. LOL Only problem we had was poor little Mom. We took her to lunch and she became so upset staff came and got us. She is all messed up. She thought we moved her to a different place entirely. Forget trying to explain, it only makes her worry more. She knows she is just down the hall from where she was but she forgets as soon as you tell her. Sisters and I stayed until we put her to bed. I felt like I was leaving my little girl at the hospital......ALONE.
The staff said they would check on her during the night and they would continure to reasure her today. We took her on numerous walks in her wheelchair and showed her where she was and she understood......until she forgot again. I pray this turns out to be a good thing. Its what she wanted. It must be so horrible for our LO's to be afraid. It will take some time for sure.
Her apt. is so much bigger and just so pretty. We hung everything on her walls and her "treasures" look so much better in a bigger place. I even took her old rocking chair back to her. Its a beautiful oak rocker that we refinished years ago and she loves it. She didn't seem to remember the chair. Who's chair? Oh boy, I should have known then we were in trouble.
Thank you all so much for your good thoughts. I thought of you all during the day. I'll check in with you later after I talk to Mom.
My back went into spasms on the way home last night. Its hard to move my right foot back and forth when it's pinching a nerve. My knees were hurting but nothing like my back. It takes my mind off of one when the other is KILLING me. LOL Yeah, I wanted to tell Mom to give me her chair a few times yesterday afternoon. None of her daughters are in good shape at the moment. Sister #2 fell the day before and hurt her knees. Sister #1 has a bad hip. We would pass each other in the hall and laugh at each other because of the way we were all walking. So sad.........really sad. We're all falling apart. We just keep moving. Thank God our husbands were there. Of course they did the heavy lifting and we appreciate them. When it came time to do the decorating they took off. Or I should say we told them to go away. LOL After a certain time they just get in the way. Do they do this on purpose so we tell them to leave?? Of course they do !!!! Thats OK we just needed their muscles. They are so mistreated don't ya know? My husband knew that Mom was struggling and it bothered him to see her so confused. We tell them how she is but watching her is a whole other ballgame. They love her too.
Mom was fine when I talked to her this morning. Now she isn't !!!! Its going to take some time for her to adjust. I pray it comes soon. I'm already tired of answering the same question. What is this place? Is it a new place? Where do I eat? I guess a trip there today is a sure thing. As soon as I leave she will forget again. Bless her heart.
I hope your mouth is feeling better soon. Yikes, I hate dental surgery. No fun!
!She will adjust Chris. I did find it helpful for Dad to point out his few prized posessions. Dad are you sitting in your big green leather chair? Dad do you see the picture of your home on the wall? Hummm, if they are there then you must be where you are supposed to be.
As for the repeated questions... Just remember that she truly doesn't know. If you repeat it enough she will eventually forget to ask. Know it will not go on forever and what a wonderful comfort you are giving her each time you answer. The fact that she had good moments is a good sign. They will grow.
I can relate to the walking wounded. A pinched nerve here and a banged up bone there and a stretched muscle throw in and every body hobbles along but somehow gets it done. Bless the guys for the strong backs they contributed and bless you for releasing them when you got out of their relm of comfort. Whether they wanted to leave or you wanted them to leave is like the chicken and the egg.... who is to say which came first!?!?!
The back is troublesome to me. When it starts affecting the leg and foot you ruly need it looked after. Glad the knee faired better but sorry about the back. You definitely need light duty for a while!
Keep us updated on your Mom and her adjustment.... and know it will happen
PS... should we use the towels to tie you up so you have to take that liight duty?
Thank you deb I'm much better today. I took it easy yesterday and last night. My back is a source of pain for me every day. The day I moved Mom it hurt because I can't spend that many hours on my feet without paying for it later. I didn't do one thing heavy. Just on my feet too long. I thank you for the offer of the towels to tie me down but its not necessary dear deb. Keep them handy for me when I'm ranting and crying. LOL I always need them then.
I'm worried of course. Worry is my middle name don't ya know. I know its going to take time for Mom to adjust. I'm just not sure at this point if its possible. I'm going to have her checked again for a UTI just in case that's the problem. Last time I was sure she had one but she didn't. She is just so confused and anxious in her new place. You just never know if what your doing is going to make them better or worse. Of course we'll give it all the time she needs. I've just got this feeling that its soon going to be out of our hands. You know that feeling that I'm talking about don't you? Its that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you your only fooling yourself. I know in my heart its going to take a medical emergency for my sisters to admit that Mom needs to be somewhere else. I'm taking the easy way out for the moment. I'm too tired right now to bring up any talk again about placing her in a NH. One day at a time is how I'm getting thorough this mess that this horrid disease has placed us all in.........one day at a time.
Just a short note to tell you that Sister #1 is with Mom. Mom actually walked to the elevators with her walker and showed Sis how to get to the dining room and back!! No problem..........at the moment. She seems a little more at ease. I wish she wouldn't call at night. She sundowns so bad and I think "Dear Lord she's gone for sure". Miss negative riding my roller coaster again.
I hope your phone call goes well deb. Planet Alzheimers..........a tiring place to visit.
I am talking to Mom now. The mood meter is on good today. She's laughing. She was telling me about lunch and was trying to come up the word "Sub" to describe her sandwich. She fumbled for a while and then said you know, my brain is dead.... then laughed. Once again she is telling me about the man putting his teeth in the middle of his plate.. and laughing. Then a quick switch to the Michigan snow followed by the dolphins that were saved from the ice. Yep, she's watching the news!
Then she totally shocked me. We were talking about money. That is actually her favorite subject!!! I said I had called the accountant and then couldn't remember his name so I made the same comment she had about my brain being dead (which got a big laugh). Then she said.... "I am so sorry that you have to do that for me but it just got to be too much!" After I discussion in the other thread it brought tears to my eyes... but in a good way. I told her as much as she had done for me in my life that there was no way I could ever repay all that she had done and thanked her for letting me do this for her. That seemed to appease and please her.
Chris, I am glad your Mom is having a good morning. Yes, it will be worse during sundowning but at least the early parts of the day are good..... for both of us
So glad to hear you mom is settling in well after her move......and I hope you're taking the time to rest now. I couldnt help but smile when I read the part where you and your sister and your husbands were all laughing during the move.....how nice this must have been. I wish all families could handle things like this "together".....how much more manageable things could be.