Hello, my name is Debbie and I live in West Central Florida. My MIL had a massive stroke almost 6 years ago. But before the stroke, I noticed that she was unable to follow conversations, and she had a lot of nasty,spoiled food in the house, and notes sticking everywhere. I really didn't know anything much about Alzheimers at the time; but in the past 6 years I found out. The doc and neurologists both dx her with Alzheimers plus the fact that she has multi-infarct dementia from the stroke.
It will be 6 years in June and I am so tired and hubby is stressed. She has declined to the point to where she is in late stage 6. Along with all of this "new found fun things she is doing", now she seems to have lost her ability to hear (more like understand). It was difficult to decipher the wrong words before the seemingly hearing loss, ;but now it is torment. I bought the little device, you put it in your ears like on TV, and you can hear 90 feet away. Wow, that seemed to be the ticket. But now she won't use it, cause it hurts her ears. She won't use headphones cause it musses her hair. Hearing aids are out of the question. She flatly refuses that. She is 92 years old and as vain as a narcistic teenager.
Thanks for letting me introduce myself. Anybody else got any ideas on the hearing thing. The TV is killing us.
Welcome to the board, I know by now you must be hitting your head on the wall. It seems so obvious if that person wants to do something they would do what is necessary to make that happen.
My MIL is vain too. She doesn't want anyone to see her using the walker or a cane, so she just stays home and then complains because she can never go out.
Can you tell her the police came over and said that there is a noise disturbance and the tv must be turned down? Maybe she would use the headphones then. What about a set of headphones that go around the back of the head?
It is very frustrating to know that you are trying to take care of them and at the same time you feel that they could at least cooperate some. Is she living at your house?
I'm sure you'll find some other suggestions by the members on the board. Good Luck and hang in there.
My Mom passed away from Dementia over a year ago. When I was still living with her she also had the TV on very loud because of hearing problems. BUT - all that changed as she declined in mental ability. She forgot how to turn the TV on. She forgot hw to change stations. She couldn't make sense of what she was watching. Soon she lost all interest in television, having already lost interest in reading.
If your MIL is in stage 6, maybe it is time for her to be in a good nursing home? There, some other people will be gathered around the TV and it will be plenty loud for all to hear. Those not intersted can go somewhere else. I was with Mom for 5 years and she may have been at stage 5 when she had to go to the NH after breaking her hip ... but I don't think I could have put up with her much longer. She was not a difficult person, was always pretty calm and good natured, but all the problems with incontinence and potties, and forgetting to wash/wipe or how to dress or what to wear and what NOT to do with the stove and toaster, and what happened to all her money, and ''what are you doing in my house?" in the middle of the night, etc etc took a toll on me. My family and I found the NH a good solution, where she was pretty happy until she got sick and passed away after 2.5 years, at the age of 99. She had shown symptoms of Dementia for at least 8 years by then.
Welcome to the board Debbie. It sounds like you have had a long road so far. I can absolutely relate to the hearing problem. Both of my parents have dementia. Dad has vascular dementia and Mom has ALZ. Both have a hearing loss as well which was diagnosed before the dementia. Mom also has a diagnosed verbal processing deficiency so she doesn't understand the spoken word as well as she shoud.
Dad rarely gets out of bed without putting in his hearing aids. If he does forget a simple reminder and he will put them in. But he had worn then for years before dementia. He has less trouble processing what he hears but forgets it almost immediately.
Mom on the other hand is the poster child for vanity. She refuses to wear her hearing aids. Head phones are OUT. She hates ear buds. The TV is loud enough to hear it in the next city. But I have noticed that she reads the scroll lines rather than listens to the voices. That is one reason she watches the news so much. They have great scroll lines she can read. Even what she hears is not processed correctly. Then she forgets what eventually does get through. My sister has made a crusade of getting her to wear her hearing aid but even when she does the auditory processing is not there to understand what she is hearing so the effect is the same. Mom has two good hearing aids for the same ear because she "lost" hers under warrenty, had it replaced, and then found the first one in her winter bathrobe pocket the next fall.
Funny story about hearing aids. Dad had one that was not working at all. He had been wearing it for some time broken when the battery holder broke off his other hearing aid. We finally ordered him a new one and sent the other one to be fixed so he was without hearing aids. Dad "borrowed" one of Mom's. Well that left Mom with one. But Dad was used to having two so he eventually swipped her other one and managed to put it in the other ear. Mom complained for two weeks saying..... I don't care if he uses one but I would like to have the other one back. We would take one from him and give it to her, she would take it out and lay it down, and he would get it back. Then it would start all over again. This went on several times a day until the new and repaired hearing aids were delivered. lol
With Mom, hearing aid or not, she still has problems processing auditory input and is also having trouble finding the words she needs. This is more a part of the disease than a function of hearing. They will eventually lose their language ability completely. This is part of the ALZ process. So my guess is that this is more a function of the disease than hearing.
Debbie, sorry for what you're going through. I cared for my 91 yr. old grandmother with Alz. at home for 6 yrs. until last month when she fell and broke her hip. She's now in a nursing home and doing as well as can be expected. I agree with Martha that maybe you should consider nursing home placement. I know it's a difficult thing to consider, and I wasn't able to do it until circumstances forced it, but almost all of us get to a point one way or another where it's the best solution.
Nursing homes get a bad rap, but most of them I've visited are good places.
I'm so satisfied with the NH where my grandmother is; she gets excellent care.
My grandmother didn't have the hearing problems your MIL had, but she had her own set of "issues" many of them with grooming, and it had gotten to the point where she fought with me on trying to get her to do anything; I could do nothing with her. It is amazing to me that the workers at the NH can groom her and do all the things she wouldn't let me do, and she is so docile and doesn't put up a fight at all. My relationship with her is so much better.
When I visit her we can just enjoy being together without the stress and frustration that was there when we lived together.
New to this board 
Linear Mode
