dorri

My sister told me today that a realstate agent is coming this afternoon to appraise mom's house. They are clearing the rooms and getting the contents together and will be selling the house soon.

I know I should separate the two but that house isn't just a house, it was a home and a part of mom. When I see the house I see mom, it seems so final. Her life, our lives, will never be what they use to be. Maybe if mom didn't get sick like she did, it would be a lot easier. If she was well and wanted to sell the house, it would be different, we would still have our mother. Our mom is gone for the most part, I cling to what is left of her and soon I will be seeing the house empty void of her belongings and all the things that comforted her and made her happy. A few short weeks ago she was still struggling with the decision to sell the house. It was too overwhelming for her to even think about it. At first I tried to save her and stall the others in hopes that mom would somehow improve and return to the house. She did give my sister consent on our last visit. It's inevitable, it's of no use to her anymore, there's little connection to the things that once meant a lot to her, the pictures on the walls of her children and grandchildren and the happy memories of her life gone by..when I look into her eyes, a part of her emotion is missing along with the memory.. Now to her it's just walls, and soon we will be walking out looking at empty walls and empty rooms and closing a another chapter in this painful process.. Thank God that our minds still have the ability to recall the happy memories we once shared. We still have a little bit of mom left, I guess that is better than nothing and we do have memories to cling to. I don't know why I'm so upset about this all but I am.