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Old 03-14-2009, 10:33 AM   #1
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her Dad passed away

I just heard from my friend in Germany. Her father picked up some kind of infection, was transferred to the hospital, and died there after a few days. He was 89. I hope she will eventually remember him as he was before Dementia, not the fighting, angry, and uncoopertive as he became...

It is hard no matter how old or sick the loved one was. Now she feels entirely alone.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 03-14-2009, 01:17 PM   #2
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Re: her Dad passed away

i am sorry to hear that. i would think your friend would remember her dad before the dementia. it was a disease that made him act that way.

 
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Old 03-14-2009, 04:16 PM   #3
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Re: her Dad passed away

This lady gave up 10 years of her life. She couldn't work, couldn't go out with friends or anywhere else without taking him along, and when he became totally incontinent she couldn't even do that ... finally he was taken out of her care by the social system, because she was not capable of keeping him clean or safe. In a nursing home he got sick and was sent to a hospital where he died.

It will be hard for her to get her old life back .. she has done nothing but care for him for so very long.

Love,

Martha

 
Old 03-14-2009, 08:27 PM   #4
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Re: her Dad passed away

Martha, sorry to hear about your friend's father and hugs. It will take time for her to heal just as it did for you. You have the understanding because you went through it with your mom, so may your encouragement and help be a comfort to her during this time of sorrow not only to grieve but to show her there is life after caregiving.

 
Old 03-14-2009, 10:10 PM   #5
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Re: her Dad passed away

I am so sorry to hear of your friend's father's death. Yes, she gave up so much for him just as you did for your Mom. Just as you found a new life, she will as well with encouragement of friends like you. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers that she will find a new path in life that will bring her joy.

Love, deb

 
Old 03-15-2009, 06:14 PM   #6
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Re: her Dad passed away

We all do so much on a daily basis for our loved ones that when they have passed on there is a big void that needs to be filled. It takes awhile to figure out how to fill that time that was used to caregive . Eventually slowly but surely it will get filled again with other things of interest.

I see it now with my Dad he and I are my mom's caregivers and she has been in the hospital and currently is in a medical acute unit at a rehab facility for 3 weeks now. After dad visits with mom a couple hours a day he comes home and doesn't know what to do with his extra time. We just don't realize how much of our day has been given to caregiving until we no longer are doing it. Then you are amazed that you were actually able to keep up that pace.

Love Pauline

 
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