what time does - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

debbie g · 03-24-2009, 03:31 PM

i just came back from a 1 week vacation. i saw my mom in the nm today. after 1 week, she looks worse, can hardly walk and is more confused than ever. i started to cry as i was leaving and the directors just hugged me. i guess i came in just wanting her to be normal again. how stupid am i. i let my heart take over my brain. just had to vent.

Martha H · 03-24-2009, 04:20 PM

I know how hard it is. We go back hoping --- against hope --- that this time Mom will respond, smile, show recognition, and she doesn't. It is so painful.

When I read these letters and realise that my visiting Mom in the NH days are over, I feel a hint of nostalgia. Oh, wasn't it nice to be able to see her, at least what was left of her ...

Love,

Martha

DrewsG · 03-25-2009, 12:10 PM

Bless your heart Martha. I truly understand the "missing" part. To just be able to see them was good. They were still here in this world with us. I still have Mom but the decline is also hard to watch. I know that you understand every phase that we all go through and how each one is heartbreaking.

Just wanted to give you a big ((((HUG))))) today. I know how much you miss your wonderful Mother.

debbie g, I'm so sorry that you are hurting. It takes your breath away at times, Doesn't it? The decline that you saw must have hurt so bad and thats so normal. We all hope that we'll somehow get them back and our life will be right again..........but it doesn't happen. Its human to have hope and very hard to accept that we cannot fix our Moms......((((HUGS)))) for you also debbie g.

Love, Chris

debbie g · 03-25-2009, 03:20 PM

thank you for your responses. i went back to the nh today. its so hard to watch and listen to my mom, but i do and i try to make her laugh. i am so glad i still have her and i feel so bad when i am told on this board of their loved one passing. but when i leave the nh, i guess i will always cry. i just cant help myself. i do know that i cant bring it home with me because its not fair to my husband and my last child who is a senior.

Gabriel · 03-25-2009, 11:34 PM

This disease is just so hard at any level. Those of us dealing with the angst and confusion and anger, those dealing with loved ones that are slipping further away, and those that have finished their battle. None of it is easy. I am so sorry you are struggling Debbie G. My time in your situation is coming. Right now I am with Chris in the angst catagory. Even now it is difficult to see how far Mom has slipped in the last few months. I spent my birthday yesterday driving home from my latest visit and checking on a room in a locked unit for Mom and Dad. I celebrated medication changes and was happy that decision to move Mom and Dad was finally unanimous. How this disease changes us all......

Hang in there Deb G. You are a good daughter

Love, deb