Mom is better. - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

dorri · 03-24-2009, 10:33 PM

My visit with mom went well. She was very with it, and was able to process our conversations enough to join in with her words and thoughts. She was very close to being her normal self.

The doctor has decreased her heart medication so I wonder how much this medication contributed to her confusion. The specialist said her heart is strong, it's just beating too fast so he prescribed some meds to slow it down.

She is in the hospital awaiting placement in a Nursing Home to which she had earlier agreed to but now wants to go home again.

On our drive back we stopped in at mom's house and did some packing, it is quite a chore because she had accumulated over the years. We took a few things to remember her by, and are preparing for a GS before it is put up for sale. We seem to have little choice as far as her house is concerned because the hospital already started charging her Nursing Home fees of $1859 a month so we cannot keep up the house and pay her NH fee at the same time.
Poor, poor mom, what if she wakes up from this nightmare and finds everything gone?

Martha H · 03-25-2009, 03:57 AM

Dear Dorri,

I know your question was not based on expectations, but it really does tell us how we all feel at a certain place along this road.

Let's put it this way: if some miracle occurs, a drug that heals, or something else, and your Mom wakes up one day to be thinking normally again and finds her house is sold ... what happens is, everyone is so happy to have her back, and she is so happy to be normal again, that the house fades into total insignificance next to the wonder of having a right mind.

You are lucky to have found a good NH for that price. Mom's NH in NY (Long Island) cost $11,000 a month. Her money lasted 3 months, and then she had to go on Medicaid.

IF that care could have saved her, we would have gladly paid for it somehow... but in the end it was just her body they patiently groomed and fed and medicated every day, her mind was at the end almost gone. Her last words to me, however, were lucid and showed she understood - I had just told her of my company coming from Germany, and she said on the phone "I wish I could be there."

Love,

Martha

dorri · 03-25-2009, 11:25 AM

Hi Martha. Unfortunately mom is on a list and awaiting placement in a number of Nursing Homes, whichever one becomes available first. I hope she gets into a good one and not some negligent one.

Here Nursing Home fees are based on liquid assets, so the fee is set to what they have. Once they run out, I think she will still be covered.

$11,000 a month is bizzare. They make sure they get it all in the beginning. What kind of currency do you have?

I do have a concern, mom's back has been hurting and we have repeatedly asked the hospital if anyone took an xray to see what is going on. They keep avoiding the question by saying they will ask the doctor, well it's been about 3 weeks now and mom's back still hasn't been looked into.
My sister seems to think this all started when she was officially put on the waiting list to go into a Nursing Home, it's like the hospital is not as concerned as they were before and they are charging her NH fees because she is taking up a hospital bed.

debbie g · 03-25-2009, 03:26 PM

you have to have the dr do an xray. i so understand the trepidation you have. i always thought things would get better with my mom, but they havent. the nursing home my mother is in is 6k a month. my father was able to get some money deducted from certain scholarships such as a letter from his clergyman. i also donate what i can. when my father runs out of money, then medicade will take over. 11k is the most i ever heard.

Martha H · 03-25-2009, 06:44 PM

It was all in regular US Dollars! Here in Indiana a good NH would have cost half that price. We considered moving her, but decided that whether her money was all gone in 3 or in 6 months, nothing would make it possible to save it. It was money well spent. Once she got on Mediciad her loving care continued without any change.

Love,

Martha