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Old 04-04-2009, 08:46 AM   #1
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our first care home visit

let me set the stage..... I drove over to my moms on thursday and the visit was set for friday, we were going to go have lunch... I had talked to my mom and dad before and all seemed good, everyone excited about going for lunch somewhere different... thursday night it started, my mom complaining that she was not feeling well and would not be going anywhere on friday... she pointedly look at me when she said this, I said fine knowing that she probably would forget.... friday morning she did a fine job of making herselve feel ill... she would not eat breakfast and got herselve in quit a state.. I was really upset as I could see she was doing this to herselve.... My dad tryed to talk to her but she was adiment that she was way to sick to go anywhere, she then told me to go by myself and take dad with me... I told her no that if she was not up to it we would just cancel the luncheon,,, never once did we tell her that it was a care home... so I got a little upset, my dad was a little upset as he knew I had just traveled the 4 hours the previous day just to be there with them... I had already came over on monday and tuesday to turn around and come back thursday....anyway once I told her we would just not go she relaxed... My dad asked my mom is she wanted to go to the OAP..centere (their senors center) for lunch as they do this almost everyday, and low and behold she was up and dressed in a flash...so off we went and out to lunch, on the way back my dad asked my mom if she wanted to go and perhaps see Sim Macdonalds presentation of artwork... Sim is a very well knowen artist and my mom used to paint with her, anyway my mom got very excited and said of course, Sim was giving the presentation at the care home that we were supposed to go for lunch, we drove to the care home and we were just arriving when sim was leaving. but we went inside and had a look around, My mom loved it and we stayed for a couple of hours looking and talking to everyone. The owner was so good and made us all feel at home... finally my mom was tiring and I suggested it was time to leave.... as I walked out the door to make the long ferry trip home my mom made me promise to take her back to the nice place the next time I come. she said she had such a wonderful time it is hard to keep up with these guys isin't....

 
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Old 04-04-2009, 08:55 AM   #2
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Re: our first care home visit

I'm so glad that after a terrible start it still worked out to some extent!

It is amazing how scared and suspicious dementia vicims are.

About a year before we had to place Mom in a nursing home, my brohter took her upstate for a visit to their summer cabin (NY State) just to gve me a weekend off Momcare. One day he and his wife planned a wonderful surpise, taking Mom to a brewery to see beer being made. Mom loved beer.

Well, she was so suspicous and upset all along the way that they almost decided to turn back, but when she got there and found it really was a brewery, she said "I thought you were putting me in a nursing home."

She only did go to a NH after breaking her hip and being wheelchair bound, and by then her dementia was enough advanced that she never did really know whare she was, but took it to be a health spa ....

It is sooo hard. You did great!

Love,
Martha

 
Old 04-04-2009, 01:22 PM   #3
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Re: our first care home visit

you really handled that well. its so amazing how their minds work.

 
Old 04-04-2009, 01:48 PM   #4
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Re: our first care home visit

OMG you were so fortunate that it worked out so well....I am sure you were a nervous wreck.

Let's hope she remembers next time.

And if my mom knew she was going to a brewery she would have been in the car with yours, Martha.

Love, Meg

 
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