On July 1st my BIL, who has dementia, was taken to the emergency dept of hospital with acute kidney failure. I was told 4 days. On the ward for two weeks with a 24/7 carer - being given glucose and saline drips. He totally confused, pulling out lines and catheter and eventually his feet were so damaged where they attempted to put lures in that they are both swollen and he has cellulitis in one leg. There is no hope of prolonging life and certainly no dignity. Eventually discharged to the hospital section of his residential care home, with pneumonia, where he is getting the most loving 24/7 comfort care. Thank God for compassion and sense. It has still been 5 heartbreaking days and although his body has completely given up his heart has not. I am flaming angry as there is no hope of life for him and he has to suffer. It should not be like this.
Living Wills? When his brother and I said at the hospital that we did not want this intervention for him, and it was not something he wanted, because I could not produce written proof of that from my BIL as a 'Living Will' our wishes could not be considered. Guess what is on our agenda in the next week!!
Yes, a living will or a medical POA are necessary documents. If you have a good attorney, the POA can address all issues - medical and financial. Mine does. And I've communicated my wishes in no uncertain terms to my sister who has my POA.
I was taking daddy to the respite center to get him registered and all set for our September vaca, and had all the documents - the facility's 448 pages of questions (It seemed like that many, anyhow), my POA, dad's advance directives/living will, his DNR...
Only to be told that his DNR was not valid in Colorado as it had been drawn up in Oregon, where we are all from! Of course, how in the hell can I get a DNR in Colorado since he is not competent to sign?
It's an issue. I have MY paperwork all done. DH does too. Please, PLEASE - everyone get your stuff done and signed before someone has to do all this stuff when you are loopy.
While you're surprised about the DNR order not being good from state to state, here in NJ -- to adopt a pet through any animal facility, you need to fill out an application that is 4 pages long and asks everything. My brother-in-law had to provide his tax return info for that year!!! and they needed 3 references. Also, we found they actually called the references!
My mIL and FIL were at my house and said they were going to allow my 16 year old sister in law to get a cat. We went out that night to the local animal facility and went through all the bull -- they actually wanted to know everyone who lived in the house and their ages -- for a stupid cat!!!
I swear they want more info to adopt an animal than they seem to check when you want to adopt a child (lmao).
So the stuff you went through with the DNR isn't surprising. IF you haven't started the medicaid process yet, you should so that its all done when and if your father gets into a NH facility
Hi girls. Glad that this has started debate and it has made me feel a great deal better so thanks to all. I am sorted...to having funeral instructions!! Pleased to see that Obama is looking at your health system too as it sounds very difficult to me.
Why would we want government run healthcare when they can't take care of their own problems. We have the best healthcare system in the world and it's going to be taken away by our government who won't even have to participate in their own forced healthcare system.
On getting a DNR, in another state, If you are the DPOA and it has been activated and I believe that is good in any state have the facility that your parent is at call their medical director and ask for an order for a DNR.
Just to let all of you know out there, if your loved one goes from the hospital to the nursing home, whether for long term care, rehab for what ever reason, the hospital will have already had the discussion with the family if there loved one has dementia and is unable to make decision. The hospital doc will sign for a DNR status and even on discharge the DNR is good Until that person sets foot inside the door of the facility you are going to, otherwise it is good and just make sure to put the copies in the wirte places, refridgerator and wallet.
So I am pretty sure the place where you are for respite must have a medical director that is an MD and can sign for a DNR.
You are so right meg I noticed the same thing it appears there are no new posts until you click into the topic and then you find out there is new updates on the topic. Interesting I wonder what the heck is going on???? I thought it had something to do with my computer messing up