Sunday Morning - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

skimps46 · 08-16-2009, 07:38 AM

Daddy is still with us. I went in at 6am and turned him, washed his face and head. I bathed and powdered him. I hadn't shaved him for 2 days and I knew that if he knew that, he would be horrified, so I shaved him and used those little pink sponges on a stick to wet his mouth and lips. I talked to him, told him again how much I love him and how it really ok to go be with mom.

He cannot respond, of course. But there is nothing in this world that could convince me that he did no hear me.

By the way - you know that old adage that speaks of the "rule of 3s"? You cannot survive more than 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food? It's wrong. Daddy has had no liquids at all since last Wednesday. Five days ago.

Hang on to my towels, friends. I am here alone as dh is at work, Patrick and Jodi are at her house. I am going through this alternately hysterically and numbly. Right this second, I am numb. It won't last, but I appreciate the fact that the waterworks have shut down for the time being.

Thank you all for lifting daddy up in prayer. He will be dancing to "Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White" with momma soon enough. What a great moment that will be for him - and her. She's been waiting since September 10, 2004. She's waited a long time.

...lil' deb

teapot · 08-16-2009, 09:34 AM

I know your brother has been less than useful in this situation - but has he called to tell Daddy that he'll be OK and that it's alright for him to move on?

meg1230 · 08-16-2009, 12:00 PM

"less than useful" ..that was a tactful say of saying it.
I've wondered about that myself..if he has checked in..oh well.

I read your post this morning, Lil Deb, before I headed out to pick up mom, who was trying to be puny this morning. We got there, opened her blinds, let the light in and then told her to get dressed...that we had places to go and people to see. She did.

But I bring that up because since reading the post this morning I have had that song on my mind...Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White. I had mom singing it at lunch.....hopefully we sent some good "vibes" your dad's way.
(vibes...that's a term from our day, huh, girls?)

Here's hoping he is dancing to that song with his wife soon.

Breathe, Lil. His little sailboat is almost there...with butterflies leading the way.
Love, Meg

skimps46 · 08-16-2009, 12:00 PM

Yes, teapot, I did. I did that Friday. I offered to hold the phone to daddy's ear so he could tell him one last time that he loved him and that he could go now. Bro said that he was driving and talking on his cell phone, and that was illegal, so he had to go now. And he did. He did not call me back...not then, and not now. And as for telling daddy "goodbye"?

My brother declined the opportunity.

...lil' deb

skimps46 · 08-16-2009, 12:05 PM

Meg -

I have had that song in my mind for days now. Daddy and momma could really "cut a rug" - oh, how they could dance. Swing, Jitterbug, Country - they were amazing. On daddy's 79th birthday, we took him to a local steak house - dh, me, Patrick, Jodi, Steven...and we did not know that they would have a live band there. They did, and daddy and I danced, alone on the dance floor.

I had no idea it would be our last dance.

But his time is near for him to dance again. With his wife of 58 years. He will be free soon. And I have the feeling that he will go while I am here alone with him. I'm ok. And if that's the way he wants it, that is as it shall be.

...lil' deb