Thank you, Lil Deb and Deb..!
1. My sister, who lives in Europe, just called, very upset that my brother and I 'tore our parents out of their home. She says this is a very "American" disease-focused approach to dealing with dementia. She says that in Europe and Central America, kids would never do this. That the model is to keep elderly in their homes as long as possible. Can any folks from outside the US let me know if she is correct?
2. We are being told to screen all the calls..not answer..until the dust settles...even if it's a month or two out. This seems to be heightening the level of frustration/sadness in my parents' voices. "Pleeeeeeease call us." "We hate it here." "Please let us choose where to live." "Please call.."
Is this "cold-turkey-tough-love" approach generally used? Our Geriatric Care Managers (yes, we had to hire two...!) are insisting that contact with the kids is not good during the move-in/transition. This goes against every humanistic/respect for, dignity for, instinct in my body. Shouldn't be hand-holding my parents through this?
Of course, my mother just told me she never wants to see me, dead or alive. So, if her wishes come true, I guess one of us going to Hades!
I hope to contribute more over time, but right now, I'm a sponge looking for answers. Thanks for listening!