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Old 02-09-2011, 08:39 PM   #16
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Re: Mom is now on Hospice!

Yep, where my mom is they also have a schedule. They don't shower them daily and that is ok with me because mom has sensitive skin and she never showered everyday while living at home..she would break out if she showered everyday. They do it 3 to 4 times a week and more often if need be.

I would be very suspect if they put on a show for state examiners. Today they were scurrying aorund mom's place because the state is due for their pop in visit. The staff didn't have to do anything major. THey were just doing a sweep through the halls to make sure they had their " i's" dottted and their "t's" crossed, so to speak.

Believe me, I'm another one who knows I could have never done it on my own. But I have been through this for years and l know what they are capable of...the rants, the behavioral problems, the paranoia. My home had to become the refuge I came to so I could get relief from the storm.
I come home from my daily visits with her knowing she is ok. So that I can be ok for as long as possible.

Love, Meg

 
Old 02-10-2011, 07:12 PM   #17
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Re: Mom is now on Hospice!

it's very hard to make the choice to put your beloved parents in the nursing home. As Deb said that it could be a long time or a short time. And the wear and tear that it take in your own body can be devestating! As for me I only had two yrs with hubbys parents but the stress that it created in my life almost killed me. I became so very csick that I was hospitalized 4 times and nearly died twice.The stress that his parents put me through was NOT worth it. We had been told to put them in NH the 6 months before but because others and our own opinions we hesitated to long. She wasn't safe in our home and after violance from her we had to finialy resort to giving in a few months later FIL went in for a fall and broken hip. He has been there 7 months now.
It's not what you want to do to put them in the nursing home. However you have to understand (as did I) your limitations and their safety! And your health! and the health of your family.

 
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:31 PM   #18
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Re: Mom is now on Hospice!

Well it's been awhile and I have GREAT NEWS... FIL is gone to Wa along with BIL (mooch) and we now have our home back! Even took down the handicap ramp!
MIL is declining, somedays she seems to have some knowledge and presence and most days she is back in the 60s now.
She doens't notice her husband gone, but does at times know her other son is missing.
She thinks that my hubby is having an affair with Theresa (that's me) and she is very upset!
Other times she is driving to the desert to visit with some nice people who she has no idea who they are.

Two days ago a woman died next to her in the dinning area where she was, she never noticed, it freaked my husband out!

I'm on the mend, and starting to strighten out ALL the mess left behind ny my FIL and BIL! And I am excited that Spring is here in Ma!

 
Old 03-28-2011, 10:18 PM   #19
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Re: Mom is now on Hospice!

I can hear the glee in your typing frustrated Despite your MIL's decline you at least have your house back and the mooch is out.

Mom had no clue when Dad died. They were in the same room and the caregivers just got her up, dressed, and out of the room before they attended to him. That was over a year ago and she has only ask about him a few times. She thinks he is just down the hall... somewhere. As long as she is content... that is all that matters. If the delusions become frustrating to her then there are medications that will help. If she is content... let it be.

Just glad you are on the mends, the house will be back to normal soon, and you are looking forward to spring Life is good!

Love, deb

 
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