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Old 07-15-2011, 07:33 AM   #1
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one on one caregiver

My FIL has started having walking problem so he prefers to stay put in his sofa. He still "walks" with a walker very slowly given lots of help around the home and in the yard if someone takes him. He does not go for outings or van ride anymore.

The director suggested that we get one-on-one companion using their own caregivers with lower discount. I know for a long time, my FIL likes companion - he wants to hit on those ladies!!! He always thought his caregiver back home was his wife or girlfriend!! I don't think he needs the caregiver in this regard and I don't want to add this girlfriend episode again. He had been on this thing for 3 years! It was really a pain - he took it seriously with those female caregivers or nurse.... He was acting like they would be my MIL???

Earlier, the residential care director said in order to prevent him from falling from his own bed again, some family hires the caregiver to watch them in the morning or at night to make sure they don't fall without help.

I tend to lean toward the latter reason for getting one on one caregiver. Not now as he is stable and gets used to his lower bed at this moment.

My FIL is happy still and can enjoy group activities and does not seem to mind his walking problem although we cannot remind him about that.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-15-2011 at 08:17 AM.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 08:09 AM   #2
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Re: one on one caregiver

A few questions...

Has your FIL actually fallen recently and how often? Yes he is having difficulty walking but if he is happy sitting then why would you want somebody there to just sit and watch him sit? How often has he fallen out of bed? Is it often enough to hire somebody to sit and watch him sleep? If the facility is furnishing these caregivers, at a discount, are they making money by providing this extra service? Is this service truly needed or are they pushing a service for profit?

Two statements have jumped out. "He prefers to stay put in his sofa." and "he is stable and gets used to his lower bed at this moment." Beyond that you have the "companion attachment" issues from before. So why would you want to hire somebody at all? I appears that he has adjusted relatively well.

So you have to ask yourself... what is the benefit? Is your FIL trying to get up repeatedly? Is he falling consistently? Does his fall risk warrant the cost of the companion? Or is the companion going to be causing more problems then they fix? Know that you don't have to have a companion just because the facility, who is providing the service at a cost, suggest it!

Love, deb

 
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:23 AM   #3
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Re: one on one caregiver

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Originally Posted by Gabriel View Post
A few questions...
Has your FIL actually fallen recently and how often? Yes he is having difficulty walking but if he is happy sitting then why would you want somebody there to just sit and watch him sit? How often has he fallen out of bed? Is it often enough to hire somebody to sit and watch him sleep? If the facility is furnishing these caregivers, at a discount, are they making money by providing this extra service? Is this service truly needed or are they pushing a service for profit? So why would you want to hire somebody at all? I appears that he has adjusted relatively well.

Know that you don't have to have a companion just because the facility, who is providing the service at a cost, suggest it!
Deb, the interesting thing is he has not fallen again actually. He is getting used to it. He just sits there at times. The director took pity on him because every time someone is with him, he gets perky or "soaked up". If not, he sleeps on the sofa or just listens to other people. Frankly you are right, the sitter would just sit there and watch him sleep!!
Now even with us, he just sleeps most of the time. We got kind of bored.
So we will wait a little bit...

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-15-2011 at 08:26 AM.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 12:53 PM   #4
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Re: one on one caregiver

"Now even with us, he just sleeps most of the time."..... it is typical for them to lose interest in what they can not comprehend. Sleeping is not abnormal. As long as he is content (and that is all we can ask for) and not posing a danger to himself or others, then it is best to leave well enough alone.

Love, deb

 
Old 07-15-2011, 01:13 PM   #5
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Re: one on one caregiver

I did hire a caregiver for a time after mom came back after breaking her hip last year. The whole hip situation was traumatic for us all! So, when we got her back to her facility we did have someone sit and watch her sleep for a few months. The day aids finally told me she didn't need it any longer since she slept all night...and since that was still in her "feisty" period they said it would be better to have the aid during the day if we were going to have one...so we did...I listened to the one aid I trusted the most. Did mom need it? Could the on duty aids have handled it...sure...but it made us feel better to have someone there she knew with her by her side. It wasn't an all day type of thing and not every day.. She filled in for a few hours on days I didn't go and back then I was on an every other day schedule. We still don't have to have one ..especially now that her ":feisty" days are over...but we do still have someone come in 5 days a week for two hours a day at supper time.

We didn't hire anyone from an agency. I asked around and talked to the people I respect who work with mom...they would recommend someone they knew personally. Someone competent because they don't want someone not good working with one of their "babies".

They work much cheaper than an agency hire would and are as professional. The woman I have now works at another facility and stops by mom's after work to get her changed and up and feed her supper.

I think we do it now for us..that we feel better doing it..and mom is fortunate enough to have the funds to accomodate this. (us)

So it is up to you...if he is sleeping all night then what is the point unless the worry is that he will get up on his own. And if he is calm and sitting during the day, again...does he need it? Do you need it?
If my mom had ever been calm and sitting all day I probably would have never done it.

Love, Meg

L

 
Old 07-15-2011, 04:13 PM   #6
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Re: one on one caregiver

Quote:
Originally Posted by meg1230 View Post
So it is up to you...if he is sleeping all night then what is the point unless the worry is that he will get up on his own. And if he is calm and sitting during the day, again...does he need it? Do you need it?
If my mom had ever been calm and sitting all day I probably would have never done it.

Love, Meg

L
I think at some point when the elder gets sicker, the one on one caregiver is helpful. However, it is a matter of how long and when. Having one-one caregiver overnight for my FIL seems to be pricy... He does also get up in the middle of the night for the toilet. He still knows how to go to his bathroom. Believe it or not, he knows when he needs to go! Now given elastic pants, he can even do it himself. This means he may not wash his hands unless the caregiver who is walking the round happens to drop by. That is why he fell last time by going to the bathroom without a cane or walker.

The thing is we cannot have an aid all night or all morning for him as it is too expensive. It is like you hire them for 6 hours while he only goes to the toilet once in these 6 hours!! He sleeps tight so it does not make sense for the aid to sit there watching him sleeping... It is not like he was home alone back home anyway. The nurse is 24 hours around.

So I am kind of waiting for the worse thing to happen. Save the money for better use.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-15-2011 at 04:16 PM.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 11:34 PM   #7
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Re: one on one caregiver

Even one on one care doesn't prevent everything that can happen. You have to weigh the benefits vs the cost (and it is expensive). With Dad we never did have one on one caregivers. We did use the bed/chair alarm. He would also get up at night to use the bathroom or get up by himself when he woke up. The alarm would alert the staff that he was getting up. So it was not left to chance that they knew he was getting up. Then they could help him do what he needed to do and get him back to bed or dressed as safely as possible. I am a believer in the bed/chair alarms! It doesn't restrict their movement, just lets the staff know when they are on the move!

One on one care of any kind is expensive. Here, full time one on one care cost about $2,500 a week ($15/hr) and up. If you go with one of the many agencies it's can be more than that. Many also charge extra for weekends and holidays... as much as double. Just over night care can surpass the cost of the care facility they are in.

Hopefully you FIL will not need such additional care.

Love, deb

 
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:08 AM   #8
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Re: one on one caregiver

Deb, the rate here in the home is $16 per hour using their own system. This means some of the caregivers will be known by my FIL already so far. They just do extra work getting more pay. The advantage is we can use someone that he knows. Anyway, it is still pricy. Outside in the market it is like $20 per hour at least.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-16-2011 at 09:09 AM.

 
Old 07-16-2011, 06:49 PM   #9
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Re: one on one caregiver

WHere mom is, the employees aren't allowed to do extra work on the side or I would have certainly hired one of them...ones that I knew and trusted. ..so it was those people I asked for referrels from..and those people who referred people to me always stopped by to check on mom and the aid. Just to make sure. When the regular aids in mom's facility told me they weren't happy with the care mom was getting from one particular private aid..we fired her.

The prices I have paid are from 10 to 15 an hour. The agency hires are much more...20 at least.

Love, Meg

 
Old 07-16-2011, 09:22 PM   #10
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Re: one on one caregiver

Megan, This is a new system started last Nov. So I will ask for more info.

Hope your Mom is doing better.

Hugs,
Nina

 
Old 07-16-2011, 09:24 PM   #11
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Re: one on one caregiver

The same is true at Mom's facility Meg. They don't allow their aids to do private duty in the facility. When Mom was in AL my sister did hire a sitter for $10 an hour. She did just that... sit! I also know from talking to Mom's caregivers that most get $10 to $12 from an agency or $15 hired on their own. Agencies charge $20.

Love, deb

 
Old 07-25-2011, 09:01 AM   #12
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Re: one on one caregiver

Quote:
Originally Posted by meg1230 View Post
I did hire a caregiver for a time after mom came back after breaking her hip last year. The whole hip situation was traumatic for us all! So, when we got her back to her facility we did have someone sit and watch her sleep for a few months. The day aids finally told me she didn't need it any longer since she slept all night...and since that was still in her "feisty" period they said it would be better to have the aid during the day if we were going to have one...so we did...I listened to the one aid I trusted the most. Did mom need it? Could the on duty aids have handled it...sure...but it made us feel better to have someone there she knew with her by her side.
Megan,

Thanks for your story. In my FIL's case, I think it is his mind that is in chaos right now. He used to worry about his walking. He cannot accept that he cannot walk. Once he stops walking like this, he is bound to feel funny. That is why he really does not like to use the wheelchair unless he is very sick now. He still laughed at the other male resident who was sleeping not knowing he himself is pretty sick and did that too...

We saw him Friday and he talked more.
He now knows how to find help about his walking. His room is behind the nurse station so he can call for help. Now he is used to it and knows to call for help using the help button before he gets out of bed. He is amazingly alert.

The thing is now he calls for more help according to the activity director. She said now he asked for more help and attention in activity room. So she thinks if the person can be with him 2 days for 2 or 3 hours per week, it will benefit him.
I think it is quality of life thing here. He is anxious and he always wants one on one attention anyway. He needs a wife or he needs a colleague to talk to as a big boss. He still thinks he works there somewhat. He is not outgoing so he needs attention. (Like a big boss and everyone serves him about his ideas.)

So we are thinking that we can try a guy first if they have enough male caregivers. Not there yet and the director has to get me a form for urgent help last minute with one on one caregiver as well...
My feeling is this is his transition time. This is between his walking time before May and the future wheelchair/chairbound time.
This is actually not a good time because he needs to get used to it. He is slower to be transported without a wheelchair. He sits down quite slowly - I think he would have trouble sitting also.... (not just looking for the chair behind him.) So we will try it and see. He will change again once he needs a wheelchair.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-25-2011 at 11:26 AM.

 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:55 AM   #13
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Re: one on one caregiver

Nina... there is no right and wrong. You try what you think is best. The good thing is... if it doesn't work you can back up and change plans

Love, deb

 
Old 07-25-2011, 05:44 PM   #14
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Re: one on one caregiver

Ain't that the truth, Deb. If one thing doesn't work...keep at it, you'll find it eventually.

I had to laugh, nina, about him thinking he is working there. Where my mom is there is this sweet man who thinks he is the boss of everyone...and when the aids and nurses leave they check with him first. He just wants to know if they have cleaned off their desk. They tell him yes and he tells them to go home. Cute.

Love, Meg

 
Old 07-25-2011, 08:30 PM   #15
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Re: one on one caregiver

Quote:
Originally Posted by meg1230 View Post
Ain't that the truth, Deb. If one thing doesn't work...keep at it, you'll find it eventually.

I had to laugh, nina, about him thinking he is working there. Where my mom is there is this sweet man who thinks he is the boss of everyone...and when the aids and nurses leave they check with him first. He just wants to know if they have cleaned off their desk. They tell him yes and he tells them to go home. Cute.

Love, Meg
My FIL has always wanted to work even with family. He has no concept that there is family without work. He imagined that he worked with his sons even though the sons have different careers whatsoever. He only cares if people all focus on him. I think this is what he is looking for and thus the director felt that way. I think he had mental issue before he got Alzheimer's.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 07-25-2011 at 08:32 PM.

 
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