Oh my TC... don't even think that I don't have my moments when the world better look out!! Losing it is just part of the journey. You accept it and gather it all back up and keep going. Most of all you forgive yourself for those moments when you are human! I love my daughter.... I blow and she goes... "Yes Mom, I know Mom, What did you expect Mom, I know Mom, All better now Mom!" Then I have to laugh!
To make you feel better. I flipped my lid after Mom fell a few weeks back and threatened to make a neglect report to the state!" After my friend's Mom passed last weekend and I had done all I could for her, I went out back, overlooking the lake, and promptly fell apart. I can go on and on... I am human
But I have been on this journey most of my life. It started with my grandmother in the early 70's, through working in a care facility, right through my Dad and now Mom since 1998. Sandwiched in those good years of the early 90's I have some other major problem to deal with. I have just figured out that I am human and how to get myself back on track. It's not the falling off that matters but getting back on track!!
I thought losing my Dad was going to be the lowest point. He was my rock, my foundation, and my hero. I do miss him every day but as I have said before I loved him enough to let him go. He was ready and therefore I had to be ready. I haven't lost him. I see him every time I look in the mirror because he is so much a part of me. He is now my angel.... and I still talk to him
I may not hear his words with my ears any more but my mind knows exactly what he is saying back to me. I feel so very blessed to have had him in my life for so long. It is how it should have been, a great father daughter connection, and for that I am grateful. So I am grateful for what I have had and let that over shadow what part is missing today