Elaine.. it is the disease. You can't make it go away for it is what it is. Mom did the same things in AL. She didn't remember my visit, requested that I visit again, then when I called her she didn't remember that request. She would said I shouldn't come. Then she would call and want to know why I was not there. As I have told you before, you do not have to honor every request she makes. It will drive you bonkers because her request are ever changing depending on the moment. And no matter what I did it was not satisfactory. So I started visiting when I thought it was right for her and for me. If you need time off then take it.
A decrease in socialization is a symptom of the disease. It is difficult for her to know what to do and what to say. It is easier to just call you and stay in her room. That is when I backed off on the daily visits and went to every other day, then every third day. I ask the staff to take her to activities and outings even if she initially said no. In the world of dementia, no is not no. It is saying I don't know what you are talking about or I don't know how to do what you ask of me. Mom began to truly enjoy the evening activities involving music and the afternoon bingo sessions. As long as your Mom has you to lean on and depend on, it is easier to just call you than to do the unknown.
So dry up your tears. On the days you have other plans then do what you need to do. Mom will wait until tomorrow or the next day. She has no time line and will have no idea how long it has been since you were there. I actually took two weeks and went to Hawaii! When I returned Mom didn't have a clue I was not there yesterday
... and she was much more settled in her new home than when I left.