I see your point. But sometimes it takes more money to have 24 hours home care for my FIL, for example. Also my FIL gets more confused in open environment at home and got mad. So we had to send him to the residential home. The new home is pretty good at the diaper and food stuff. We just started having one on one caregiver for 4 hours per week just to offer him some companion. He may not need it yet.
At some point, he will need more nursing care and will move to the other wing where 2 people can help him at the same time. (When he gets bedridden.)
So far I don't think it is true that my FIL's home needs our personal care daily. We don't see it so far. But it does not mean my FIL does not like family around.
Some homes may have some errors and that is why sometimes the resident didn't get the Ensure. It depends on the reputation of the home, really. My FIL is in a well-known local residential home that is famous for memory-impaired care. It has no medicaid.... So it depends on the home.
Perhaps you should talk to the directors of the home to discuss this. They may have problems with the caregivers and the plan. Also your Mom may be sicker with dementia and may need special attention like the one the elders get in the locked memory unit.
See if they can help to make the whole thing better. She may not be fit in the AL. Try to discuss with the directors to see if there is any alternative.
Sometimes consolidating the living places helps.
But of course it would be hard for you to live with your Mom!
Hope things will shape up. Has her husband agreed to send her to the home? I thought he is rich and can help out.
For now, if she is OK, you can hire part-time caregiver to help her out and the family member can be the other caregiver. This way, you save the home care expenses if it is part-time hire only.