So i see my mother getting worse and theres nothing i can do about it but love her and pray for her shes scared almost everyday , i WAS praying the other nite and i started to cry histarically thinking how could i ask god to keep her here how unfair and selfish is that of me but i dont want my mom to go i love her so much and were getting ready to move into a beautiful home and i want her there i always promised someday i would put her in a nice house and we are finally there and she prolly wont even know it , or understand it , it hurts so bad i dont want to let her go but i hate to see her not no any one , i hate this disease i hate it i wish they could find a cute and make it affordable to people not jut the rich , today she keeps wanting me to take her home and she says it with tears in her eyes , the home shes talking about is of course not there shes talking about her child hood home in ky but i keep saying u are home mama and u are safe with ur daughter lori ,,, this morning she didnt want to take her meds thats the first time she kept holding her tongue out tight so i couldnt get them in there , i eventually did after some coaxin and talking , ive been taking care of her and my father for 11 years he died in 2003 he had the same disease i wouldnt change a thing im glad i could be here for both of them they were always there for me in every way a parent can be , theres memories i made just last week my mama said to me when i was putting her to bed , uve been so merciful to me and good to me i want u to know i love u from the top of my head to the bottom of me feet and itll never be forgotten and we hugged and i cried and put her to bed telling her how much i loved her and how thankful i am to have her in my life , those moments right there are what make it all worth while , and the ones i pray i alwaysssss rememeber !!! i love you mama so very much ,,,, i geuss ive rambeled on long enough , thanks for listening everyone !!!
The following user gives a hug of support to LoriLynn123: ninamarc (09-13-2011)
I just want to say that you can try to mix up the med in yogurt or dessert so she can take it without knowing about the med. If you sugar coat the med, she would like to take it. I am not sure how you gave her the med (mix it up or just give her the pills.)
Sometimes you could tell her it is the med, and sometimes you don't have to. Just tell her it is the yogurt. If you crush the pills or use the powder form and etc.
It would help if you find some part-time outside help. I admire you for taking care of your father so long. You are a great daughter!
Lori.. ramble on dear We have all struggled with those feelings as we travel this path with our loved ones. It is so hard to watch yet so hard to let go. We don't want them stuck in this misery but we don't want them to leave us either. We want to be selfish and hang on to them but we also want to be merciful and let them go. My best advice to you is to remember that you don't have a choice. It is up to a power much greater than you. All we can do is to love them, take care of them, and make their time with us the best we can make it. We can enjoy the moments, in the moment. We stay in the moment with them not looking forward or backward. We take those little moments that you talk about and let them carry us through. Then we hang on to them when the journey is done. Yes, this is a horrible disease but you have survived the journey so far. You have cared for your Dad and now your Mom to the very best of your ability and that is all you can ask of yourself. You will find your way to the end.
When the emotions crowd in on you then come here and vent. Everybody needs a place to vent to those that truly get it... and we do! My Mom is also declining. I do wrestle with feelings of wanting her to stay with me, knowing she is not going to, not wanting her to leave, but knowing that one day she will. After going through this with Dad who died of Vascular Dementia in 2009 and now with Mom.... I have to give in to the fact that I am not in control. I am only in control of how I react to what this disease gives me. I have done it once, and I can do it again.... and I will come out of all this stronger
PS.... "Coping with Alzheimer's: A Caregiver's Emotional Survival Guide" by Rose Oliver and Frances A Bock (yes I have mentioned it a number of times) has been the best book I have read for helping me with just what you are struggling with. I have read it and reread it