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Old 09-16-2011, 07:34 AM   #1
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Angry Appalled

Are any of you also angry at the statement from Pat Robertson, TV evangelist, who said a man could divorce his wife and remarry on the grounds of her having Alzheimer's Disease?

He said she was ''already dead" so it did not break the rule ''until death do us part." What about "in sickness and in health?" My Mom had Alzheimer's and in no way was she ''already dead'' until real death took her.

She had dementia for around 11 years, and died. She forgot who we were but not that she loved us. Feelings are the last to go. Imagine losing the person you have loved and lived with for 50 years because he can't handle your Alzheimer's. I am not saying he has to care for her at home; the time came in our case too where Mom neded the 24/7 care of a nursing home. But just to abandon her and start a new life with someone else, this is supposed to be morally resonsible? What do you think?

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Old 09-16-2011, 07:50 AM   #2
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Re: Appalled

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha H View Post
Are any of you also angry at the statement from Pat Robertson, TV evangelist, who said a man could divorce his wife and remarry on the grounds of her having Alzheimer's Disease?

He said she was ''already dead" so it did not break the rule ''until death do us part." What about "in sickness and in health?" My Mom had Alzheimer's and in no way was she ''already dead'' until real death took her.

She had dementia for around 11 years, and died. She forgot who we were but not that she loved us. Feelings are the last to go. Imagine losing the person you have loved and lived with for 50 years because he can't handle your Alzheimer's. I am not saying he has to care for her at home; the time came in our case too where Mom neded the 24/7 care of a nursing home. But just to abandon her and start a new life with someone else, this is supposed to be morally resonsible? What do you think?

Love,

Martha
Martha,

I am shocked that Pat Robertson would say that. It is not Christian!!
I know he is always extreme...

Anyway, you are right, he is wrong! The persons with Alzheimer's are not dead!
My FIL is in stage 7 but he is not dead! He has feelings and he is scared by his loss of vital abilities. He needs to be touched and cared for nicely.
No way he is dead! The person is still there!! His personality is still there although he cannot read or write or walk...

Well, it is true that the spouses would feel lots of stress. Some spouses even leave the sick person and move on when it is cancer or extreme disability.
This is human weakness but it does not mean the spouses can abandon the sick persons! To say that is so cruel!! I saw this movie "Away from her", the spouses in the movie ended up having an affair with each other but in the end, the spouses still returned to care for their own spouses and no more love affair. There are temptations but the moral obligation is there.

I know today many people don't want to hear moral. It is moral not to verbal abuse, it is moral not to cheap in business, it is moral not to have adultery and etc. No one likes to hear that anymore these days.

You are right, this is appalling!!

Hugs,
Nina

 
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Old 09-16-2011, 08:10 AM   #3
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Re: Appalled

I totally and complete agree with you Martha. No this is not an easy journey but if is the one you are given and it does not negate the promises you have made. But then again Pat Robertson has said other things that just floored me considering he calls himself a christian. As my lovely daughter said... "He's an idiot Mom!" I bet he has not been touched by this disease. Awareness seems to only come with those who have been personally touched by this disease. Not making excuses for him at all just frustrated at some of the misinformation floating around.

Love, deb

 
Old 09-16-2011, 11:34 AM   #4
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Re: Appalled

Totally WITH YOU Martha! What an idiotic thing to say.......but......consider the source.......

 
Old 09-16-2011, 12:32 PM   #5
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Re: Appalled

Hi, I am in agreement with you all too. I couldn't believe he would say this publicly and that people have to think about it. My husband has dementia and I love him and would not consider leaving him because I made a commitment to him and I love him. Life throws lots of things our way but we don't give up on the person we love. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse. I think we all make choices and I sure would want my loved one to be with me if I had a serious problem.

 
Old 09-16-2011, 01:20 PM   #6
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Re: Appalled

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha H View Post
Are any of you also angry at the statement from Pat Robertson, TV evangelist, who said a man could divorce his wife and remarry on the grounds of her having Alzheimer's Disease?


Martha
Why did he say man? How about women? So man should divorce the wife if she has AD and woman should care for her husband if he has AD? This sounds like the old generation when women were just caregivers... Lots of men can be good caregivers. Also Pat should go talk to my FIL and tell him he is dead and my FIL will defintely hit him!!!

I realized Pat R. was advising this guy who said his friend as a husband could not take his sick wife anymore and has an affair now. Well, as a pastor, he should have mentioned that marriage is important and he also was wrong to say that the wife "was dead"!! It is true the person forgot everything in the past but she was a wife and contributed a lot before. This is tricky but definitely she is not dead! Although Pat did say the husband has to make sure the wife is taken care of, he was dead wrong about the statement that the patient is dead. Are all disabled people dead? Being far gone does not mean that she is not alive or eating or having activities!
Although the husband has a hard time with the sick wife, it is really between the couple to decide if it is time to call it off!
If the husband really loves her, he would not mind taking care of her. If he is lonely like that, he could have love affair any time even if the wife is not sick. This is totally a different issue!

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 09-16-2011 at 01:35 PM.

 
Old 09-16-2011, 03:25 PM   #7
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Re: Appalled

yes i am angry and appalled. i am not christian.....that applies to all.

 
Old 09-16-2011, 03:34 PM   #8
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Re: Appalled

Absolutely, the law of love applies to anyone of any religion or no religion ...love, human caring and sympathy are not limited to any one religion!

It always amazes me that some people are not more humane .... often too bigotted and one sided in their thought processes.

God bless all caregivers!

Love,

Martha

 
Old 09-16-2011, 04:16 PM   #9
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Re: Appalled

Is Mr. Robertson married? Perhaps he has an elderly wife who`s showing signs of dementia? Could this be his way out.....perhaps he will get it instead!
It always amazes me how people just open their mouths and stuff comes out that does not make any sense
Anyway,thankfully I do not have to worry about his opinions as I have a sound mind(still) and a heart and an inner voice that tells me what I should do (if only I listened to that voice more often).

 
Old 09-16-2011, 04:37 PM   #10
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Re: Appalled

Alzheimers does not change the love you have for your family member. If anything you love them more and are more protective. Right now I am tempted to bring my mother out of the nursing home to stay with me and my husband who is on board with it and says bring her. I know this will upend our lives but I get so tired of trying to keep up with what is going on at the nursing home. No one does their job the way it should be done. It is a constant battle to get good care. I just had a metting with the supervisors and they say they will correct the problems but I am not putting any money on it. Pat Roberson whose lively hood depends on people sending him money has irked a lot of people. I always change the channel and I wouldn't have known what he said if I didn't read it on the computer or see it on the news. Shame on him.

Gail

 
Old 09-16-2011, 05:18 PM   #11
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Re: Appalled

Pat Robetson needs to be placed in a dust bin and put out on the curb!

 
Old 09-16-2011, 05:30 PM   #12
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Re: Appalled

WFNM----I love it---should we arrange it together?

 
Old 09-16-2011, 05:34 PM   #13
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Re: Appalled

He also said after Katrina that it was God's way of punishing the peopleof New Orleans for their evil lives. Please! Where does this idiot get this stuff?

 
Old 09-16-2011, 06:33 PM   #14
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Re: Appalled

Yes, I was shocked to hear what Pat Robertson said. That just seems so out of character for a Man of God to think and say such a thing. Totally disagree Mr. Robertson!
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Old 09-16-2011, 08:43 PM   #15
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Re: Appalled

Yep, consider the source. This is not the first time he has made an idiotic statement! He was obviously making the way smooth for his friend which is not what he should be doing. You don't mold beliefs to fit the situation. He can say what he wants but I watched my Mom and Dad cling to each other even though both of them had dementia. One of Dad's last request was to "see my wife"!

I just wonder why people still listen to this man!

Love, deb

 
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