Good to hear from you Sarah even though I hate your Mom is having to deal with a broken hip. I can assure you that I will never ever go cold turkey on my internet connections or research. Not only does it keep me sane but it has also given me the information to make good decisions for Mom. Yes, we do become obsessive with this disease but it is what it is... all consuming. In time you learn who can take how much of your "talk" and you will find yourself migrating to those that can deal with it. Perhaps why I love it here
Are both of your parents diagnosed with Alzheimer's? Different dementias have different presentations so that can be the answer to what you see.... and each person will decline at a different rate even with Alzheimer's. Mom was Dad's caregiver and the one that kept life together until her diagnosis. Dad's Vascular Dementia presented itself very different from Mom's Alzheimer's. Even though he was diagnosed in 1998, it was him that picked up on Mom's cognitive loses in 2005. She was not diagnosed until 2006. At that point Mom's MMSE was much better than Dad's. But by 2008 his MMSE was better than hers. He took a slow downward decline and her's was much faster. Mom took a very sharp decline between 2006 and 2009 but has since leveled off. There is nothing normal, standard, or consistent about this disease!!
There have been several broken hips in Mom's unit and each one of them was different. One did not have surgery, never walked again, ended up with an infection, and only lived for a few months afterwards. One had surgery, did very well. She came back to the facility for PT and eventually walked again. She is still there, ambulatory, with only a minor downward decline from the entire ordeal. Yet another one did have surgery but never walked again and had a major cognitive decline despite therapy. Most of the ones in Mom's unit either did not go to rehab or went and came back to the facility in short order. As Meg said, most rehab hospitals are not prepared to deal with dementia. They expect a patient who can and will cooperate... and has the short term memory to remember what they are taught. They are definitely not adapt at dealing with the behavioral issues of dementia. If you can get her back to where she now knows with therapy daily or several times a week she will probably do better. That way she only has the surgery, pain, and hospitalization to deal with and not a second change of living space.
She will not understand what is happening to her. When she wakes up she will be in pain and not know why. She is going to try to get up and walk. She is going to try to do the things she did before. It is going to take a lot of patience to get her through this but it is doable
Hang in there.
I am glad your Dad is doing well. Dad was the same way when Mom was in the hospital for 10 days. He ask about her a few times but was satisfied with my answers. As long as I was not upset he was ok. Delusions were a big problem with Dad as well. He was always waking up and heading out to do something. I do know, with dementia, they have a difficult time separating dreams and reality... it's all real to them. They also tend to have more dreams that are more vivid. Plus night is the worst time (sundowning) for most dementia patients so if something is going to happen then that is probably the appropriate time
I do hope your Mom does well and your Dad continues to do well. Again, it is good to hear from you