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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:28 PM   #1
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Relative who have passed on

My mother always talks about her brothers and sister and mother who have passed away. Is this a part of the disease and at what stage or does this mean they are going to pass on in the near future. Why does she always talk about them and not as much about people who are living?

 
Old 10-24-2011, 10:00 PM   #2
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Re: Relative who have passed on

Because she is regressing into her earlier memories. The first memories that go are the new memories. She can not make those new memories and why she has no clue what occurred an hour or day ago. Later in the disease she will lose other memories that are more recent and as time goes on she will regress backwards in time as more and more memories and lost.

The other problem is that nouns are the first part of speech that goes away. "Please pass me the .... pause... thing". "I need... uhhh... that thing over there". They will ask "Who is that?" when it is somebody they should know. Names tend to go away quickly. So how can she talk about somebody that she can't remember their name... or somebody that she doesn't remember. In her mind she may be a young adult and first married. She may talk about her husband or her Mom or her Dad but there is little memory of a child (except as a baby) or grand children.

So it is just part of the disease. They talk about what their brain allows them to remember.... and their ability to communicate allows them to talk about. Just enjoy the stories she is telling you and assure her that everybody is ok There is not need to tell her that they are no longer living. She will be in shock and grief, then forget it and you will be right back where you started. So just tell her that everybody is ok.

Love, deb

 
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Old 10-24-2011, 11:10 PM   #3
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Re: Relative who have passed on

Yup, what Deb says--"They are all just fine."

It doesn't mean she's seeing them on the other side and is going to join them soon, it's just all that she can remember.

 
Old 10-25-2011, 07:46 AM   #4
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Re: Relative who have passed on

This is part of Alzheimer's. Also it may be in mid-moderate stage or later stage.
My FIL has not done it although he asked about his late wife last year. He is quite busy in his new NH with many caregivers/directors. I guess it depends on the person. My FIL was more into the reality and he is not really into the family thing (his career is everything to him.)
I believe your Mom is living in the past right now. That memory is faulty now. Don't worry about it - she is not going psychic on you or anything. Just comfort her. Maybe even show her the old photos of the family folks. She just wants to talk about it. Don't have to tell her "where they are".

She still cares about people who are around her. However, she probably is starting to forget about the people around her.
For example, my FIL has forgotten my husband's childhood and past family events.
She still thinks the family around her is familiar but right now she likes to talk about the dead. I believe that she also misses the dead like we all do to our own.


Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 10-25-2011 at 07:50 AM.

 
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