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Old 11-24-2011, 09:15 AM   #1
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how do you handle

it when your loved one is crying and upset. yesterday when I arrived I found my mom crying and upset, I put my arms around her skinny little body and told how much I loved her and then I asked if she trusted me and she said yes and then I told her that she could trusted me as I would do anything for her and I would look after her and make sure everything was going to be okay and not to worry about anything that Iwould make it right.. she was saying how she wished her mind was working and that things seemed to be so fuzzy... it broke my heart. we spent awhile holding onto each for different reasons, my mom for reassurance, me, simple trying to ease her fears and give strength...

on the bright side after this little seasion, my mom has be moved from a big lock in type lazyboy type wheel chair to a handy dandy candy apple red self propelled wheelchair. once I showed my mom how to operate the wheels on both sides she was zooming up and down the hallways. ha let the nurses keep up with her now... I am telling ya i was so tired after when I got home . so we ended up having a good day after all... lots of laughs and lots of hugs...

 
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ninamarc (11-24-2011)
Old 11-24-2011, 10:13 AM   #2
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Re: how do you handle

I handle it just like you did Jags. Validate their fears so they know somebody is listening and reassure them the best you can. "Trust me" was something I used with Dad repeatedly. If I could get those two words through his fog he was always better because his long term memory told him he could trust me. Sometimes just holding them and being there is enough. My goal for Mom is contentment but the disease fights against me. It clouds her mind and puts her in a fog that is scary. Those with dementia need to let go of their emotions just like we do. We cry... they cry... and it is ok. It is an appropriate release of frustration and anxiety. So just hold her and let her let go. It is actually good for both of you. Then find a way to laugh.. even if it is chasing a red scooter around. Yep, that made me laugh! Dad wanted one so we took him to the local big box store and let him do a test drive. His inner race car drive came out and he was never allowed on one again! Just glad the day ended in laughter and smiles. Take that part home with you and the fact that you were there to comfort your Mom in her moment of distress

Love, deb

 
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