It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-25-2011, 01:03 AM   #1
Veteran
(female)
 
jagsmu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 387
jagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB User
oh a disapointing day

what an awful long and stressful day we had yesterday, first time I have broke down and cried at the hospital. it started out with a phone call that my moms placement had finally come through, although not the home we wanted but it would be temp. until the one closest to my dad opened up. any way it was at least a move to a care home and better care with nurses trained in dementia and alz. yes we were excited. the move was scheduled to happen just after lunch, the move is typically by ambulance. so I arrived at the hospital about an hour before lunch and packed up my moms stuff and got my mom dressed in some going to town clothes. although I did not tell my mom excatly what was going on, I did say we might go for a ride. My brother drove down from 4 hours away to help give me dad support and they both showed up at the hospital around 1 oclcock. We were in the hall just down from the nurses station when I spied the ambulance attentends arrive and went down to check it out. I asked the nurses if this was my moms ride and she said es but there was a kink in the move. I did a double take and asked what, the head nurse from the care home always comes with the ambulance crew for the transfer and while here she was picking up my moms charts and so on. she read the charts and seen where my mom through a book at one of the nurses a week ago, and then just a couple of days ago during the night my my was up and they called security to help get her back into her bed. so this nurses now says that my mom is a security risk and this care home is not equiped to handle this. they are not a locked down unit and they have no security on staff.. I just about fell over, I am sure that the steam was streaming out of my ears. I asked how come this issue was not address sooner and the lason person said she neglected to read the chart before okaying the transfer. by now I was crying, I was stressing out and just broke. They told me that they would redo her assesment and would hold the placement open for her until tommorow noon, as POA of my mom I told them that if the place was not good enough There is no way I wanted my mom to be transfered to this one. So that was that... because of their screwup my mom will not lose her place in line for a placement, infact she should be at the top of the waiting list. So now I have authorized only two care homes, both with locked units and with dementia wings... it may take a little longer but It will be worth the wait to get my mom in a care home that can handle dementia/alz patients and know what they are doing. god what a day of ups and downs. so back to the drawing board...

 
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to jagsmu For This Useful Post:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-25-2011, 04:49 AM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 446
Beginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB UserBeginning HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

I think that this stage was the absolutely hardest emotionally on our family. Getting the nursing home placement, worrying about losing it for various reasons (behavioral issues, health isssues), the patient's reactions to moving to a nursing home (wanting to go home, not reacting well to other dementia patients and the nurses, anger or crying), getting used to new doctors and medical staff, adjusting to nursing home routines, and the process of applying to Medicaid were all very difficult.

We also went through behavioral reviews. In our case, DH was admitted from a hospital too. The nurses in the hospital had written in his chart that he would not sleep and paced constantly. The nursing home also reviewed his day care center's records, which said that he was starting to show some signs of anger and would curse and make angry faces sometimes. The nursing home weighed all of this information before accepting him, and we went back & forth a few times. They finally decided to put him into a double-locked behavioral ward based on this information. We were lucky that this particular facility had an open bed in their behavioral Alzheimers' unit, or we would have been back at square one. I spent a day or two at the hospital with the social worker who was essentially negotiating with nursing homes on our behalf to find a placement, and then running back home to fax the nursing home financial records. In our case, the nursing home demanded a lot of financial information in addition to the medical information, to assess how long we'd pay for his care before he became Medicaid eligible. At one point the nursing home admissions woman told me that she was considering packages from three other patients at the same time, and was trying to pick the "best" patient.

DH was admitted at this time of year too, and the holiday stresses just made things even worse.

I can tell you that it took us about six months of ups and downs after placement before DH was fully settled into the NH. It took the rest of us almost a year to adjust, like being able to sleep through the night again and not feeling really guilty if we couldn't get to the nursing home every day.

I promise you that there will be a rainbow at the end of the storm.

Last edited by Beginning; 11-25-2011 at 05:01 AM.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to Beginning:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Beginning For This Useful Post:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
Old 11-25-2011, 06:46 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,135
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

Yes, this is a roller coaster Jags and those that don't do their jobs up front can make it worse. Didn't read the charts huh? But it is better to wait for the right placement than to move several times or have Mom somewhere that they can not care for her properly. It is just the flipping emotional roller coaster that you end up on. Tears are ok Sometimes you just have to let go of all those pent up emotions.

I'm not sure where these facilities expect to find all these docile well adjusted Alzheimer's patients. Along with Alzheimer's comes the demented behavior the disease creates. Yes, some of more difficult than others but I have yet to know a dementia patient that didn't act out once in a while.

I was very honest when I moved Mom and Dad here. Mom was and emotional mess and she could whip Dad into a frenzy as well. They were a handful. The facility they are in now, with the old rem director, explained to me that they knew what to do.... and they did!! Yep, you need a facility that knows how to deal with demented behavior. As I recently told the facility director... Care managers that don't know how to deal with demented behavior can create the behavior. Then you can't blame it on the patient but on the care manager. So wait for a good placement where they do understand the disease.... and know that one day that move will be for real. It will happen!

Love, deb

 
The following user gives a hug of support to Gabriel:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Gabriel For This Useful Post:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
Old 11-25-2011, 07:23 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
ninamarc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada/USA
Posts: 1,703
ninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB Userninamarc HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

I don't know how the care home assesses this thing about security. In general for dementia, a locked unit is a must. My FIL is in a NH with locked unit. This place has only locked unit because it is specialized for memory impaired people.
We knew that my FIL would wander around to go to the neighbor's and so we knew he could not be in an AL. Besides, he was very sick with some health issue. We waited for 9 months actually.
We signed up when my FIL was not so bad but he got heart failure already. No need for oxygen at all. At the end of 9 months, it was hard because he was sick with catheter and we were worried that we could not transport him. Thank God he was off the catheter when we moved him last summer in 2010.

I am very sorry that you have to wait for another one with locked unit. At least now she is on top of the waiting list.
I am sorry you have to go through such trauma. What a Thanksgiving day for you and your folks! So sorry to know that.

Hang in there and I hope she will get into a good home soon!!

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 11-25-2011 at 07:25 AM.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to ninamarc:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to ninamarc For This Useful Post:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
Old 11-25-2011, 08:44 AM   #5
Veteran
(female)
 
jagsmu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 387
jagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB Userjagsmu HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

thanks guys, the sun is shining today and I am feeling a whole lot better. just reading some of your experiences helps. Ya kinda get the feeling that you are all alone, when the nurse asked me some questions about my mom and how we handled her at home she was amazed at the things we have done for her and the prepreation at home we had done. again thanks to all of you for you informative information on this forum. I told the nurse about this forum and suggested she check it out and learn something about the true ups and downs of handling a alz/dementia person in the homefront...right in your face kind of information.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to jagsmu For This Useful Post:
luyingjie (01-24-2012)
Old 11-25-2011, 02:50 PM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 243
bearcubs HB Userbearcubs HB Userbearcubs HB Userbearcubs HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

Jagsmu,

I'm glad you're having a better day today!!!!! :0) Ups and downs is what we experience with this disease. When you have a good day, oh boy does it feel good!!!!!! So happy for you. Have a great weekend!! {Hugs}

Elaine

 
Old 11-25-2011, 06:07 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,135
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: oh a disapointing day

Good for you Jags I am so glad you are having a better day. We do ride that roller coaster of emotions that is tied to our loved ones ups and downs. You are right that the professional staff needs to know. I have bragged on this board a number of time for saving my sanity! ... and recommended it to several others as well Just glad you are having a good day... and hope tomorrow is a good day as well!

Love, deb

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Aricept
Aspirin
Ativan
Morphine
Namenda
  Reminyl
Risperdal Seroquel
Xanax
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Gabriel (757), ninamarc (157), Martha H (124), meg1230 (93), angel_bear (68), jagsmu (55), Beginning (51), TC08 (44), ibake&pray (43), debbie g (37)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (997), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (832), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (745), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:00 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!