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Old 11-29-2011, 08:22 AM   #1
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mornings are awful

my mom is really acting up in the mornings, angry ,yelling and generally upset, so much that they have moved her to her own room. this room is not so bad, her own private batheroom, her own private shower except she could be moved out of it if someone needs to be in isolation for one thing or another. the nurses think that other three in her other room start to banter back and forth and it irates my mom cause they don't talk to her and she gets really upset at being ignored, at least this is what they are telling me, they are supposed to have my number for contact and yesterday they could not find it. so when my mom was have a melt down they called my 87 year old dad... geeze,,, so i fixed that, so it will not happen again. so I am aniously waiting to see what happens this morning.. I am asking myselve should I call, should I wait it out and let them call me if there is a problem.

 
Old 11-29-2011, 12:23 PM   #2
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Re: mornings are awlful

Jags, that could be the problem or it could just be Mom's bad time of day. Many sundown. My Mom sunups. It is the hours between the time she gets up and lunch time that were always her worst. Is there any possibility they can give her something for the anxiety? I am NOT a fan of Xanax or Ativan. But there are other medications that do help. I know because Mom has been in a state of contentment for a couple of years now

My view on Xanax and Ativan are well known here. They actually act on the brain in the same way drinking alcohol does. They become lethargic/sedated and then have an anxiety hang over when coming off the meds. Might as well give them a could of shots of bourbon. But this is the first line of defense for anxiety for many doctors and I just don't understand their insistence on using it. Recently I have found more and more medical professionals that feel the same way I do, especially related to the elderly.

Many feel it is wrong to "medicate" the elderly dementia patient. I actually agree with that point. To "medicate" for me indicates sedation, impairment of function. Yet there are medications used to treat psychotic behaviors, and this is what we are dealing with, that do work to calm the behavior and bring contentment without sedating.

I do hope your Mom can find contentment And you as well....

Love, deb

 
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Old 11-29-2011, 01:40 PM   #3
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Re: mornings are awlful

i totally agree.

 
Old 11-29-2011, 02:10 PM   #4
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Re: mornings are awlful

When my FIL was in the hospital back home in 2009, he was always agitated and never slept overnight wanting to leave but was not to go because he was afraid that he would not have food if he left... (Food was important to him...)
Back then, no doctors offered any antipsychotic med. He was so psychotic in the day because he never slept at night. In the day, he sort of slept with his eyes alert. It is like he was protecting himself against some kind of evil...

Now he is taking antidepressant and antipsychotic drug and it helps. Maybe he is more sleepy but he is in severe stage and tends to nap more in the afternoon.

I think it is better for you to ask the doctor to give him some med for his anxiety. I don't think such anxiety helped my FIL to recover at all. It was a mess.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 11-29-2011 at 02:12 PM.

 
Old 12-07-2011, 05:58 AM   #5
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Re: mornings are awlful

My aunt is also awful in the morning. It takes them several hours to get her up and active and she is often resistant, abusive and occasional a little violent (in short, in the AM she's a little monster, but at only 90 pounds and in a wheelchair so I think they can let her flail around a bit without it being much of a threat to the staff!) until about 11 AM. In the afternoon and until about 9 PM she is much better.

They asked me if she was a morning or night person while healthy and sound, and in truth, we are a whole family of night owls.

They said dementia can exaggerate traits and characteristics so if she was not a morning person, with dementia, her behavior is not unexpected.

They are accommodating her natural schedule and let her sleep later in the morning and just give her the time and space she needs to get going in the morning which is working out better. Sometimes this means she is not with it for a hot breakfast and so they put her meal aside and make sure there is something she can eat a little later when she has perked up (muffin, bun or fruit) to tide her over til lunch!


Quote:
Originally Posted by jagsmu View Post
my mom is really acting up in the mornings, angry ,yelling and generally upset, so much that they have moved her to her own room. this room is not so bad, her own private batheroom, her own private shower except she could be moved out of it if someone needs to be in isolation for one thing or another. the nurses think that other three in her other room start to banter back and forth and it irates my mom cause they don't talk to her and she gets really upset at being ignored, at least this is what they are telling me, they are supposed to have my number for contact and yesterday they could not find it. so when my mom was have a melt down they called my 87 year old dad... geeze,,, so i fixed that, so it will not happen again. so I am aniously waiting to see what happens this morning.. I am asking myselve should I call, should I wait it out and let them call me if there is a problem.

 
Old 12-07-2011, 09:33 AM   #6
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Re: mornings are awlful

Suzy, I completely land totally agree with what the staff is recommending for you Mom. That is how it should be. Find the pattern that is best for your Mom and go with it to reduce her anxiety... instead of trying to force her into their schedule. I just had this conversation with Mom's care facility. Why wake her up, knowing she is going to be grumpy. Then force her to do what you want her to do knowing it is going to agitate her? Why not let her sleep until she wakes up and she is in a better mood. Save her meal. If she misses breakfast totally then give her a PBJ before her late bedtime. Readjust her entire day if necessary. I made the comment to a care giver last weekend.... "If you pick a fight with dementia, you WILL lose!" She kept pushing a resident to do what the resident didn't want to do (and it wasn't even necessary) until the resident grabbed the care giver's hair. Was the resident being aggressive? Or was the resident just responding to the agitation of the care giver? The first lesson I learned... You can't bring them into our world so we have to go into theirs

And that particular care giver is no longer working there after she grabbed Mom's arm and jerked her speaking harshly... "You gotta sit down".. with me sitting right there. I spoke to the care giver then. She did it later in the day to another resident. I spoke to the director, and she is gone.

So go with the recommendations and let her sleep through the worst part of her day

Love, deb

 
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