in her gerrie chair alone and frightened... The hospital is a lonely place for the elderly, never mind the ones that have alz added to their list of problems. I had been hearing deep thoaty coughing sounds coming from the room next to my mom's and I assumed that someone was very sick. The nurses were gowning up to go in and the restricted visitors list was posted on the door. three days of this had gone by and it seemed like everyone one was getting used to the deep coughing... yesterday as i walked in to see my mom there was the most wonderfull frail older lady sitting outside the room where all the coughing was taking place, I was so glad to see that she was better, at least enough to be able to sit in the hallway outside her doorway and watch the world go by. As my practice, when walking by someone i always stop for a few moments and say hello and ask how they are and is there anything that they need. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and tried to tell me something, this is when I realized that she had lost her ability to speak and the coughing noises was her trying to make herselve understood. I put my pack down on the floor beside her and held her hand and let her talk/mumble/cough to me for quit a time. we made a connection and I told her about my mom who was right next door to her. I finally had to leave, but what I did was go get my mom and roll her in her gerrie chair up to viola and we spent the rest fo the afternoon sitting, singing, looking at pictures, talking about dogs, and chatting. we had our dinners together and then finally her daughter came for a visit, Viola's eyes and face lit up and there was a glow about her as she spied her daughter. I could almost understand the word Lillian coming from her sounds, I ask if her name was lillian and the daughter said yes, and was amazed that her mom was able to communitcate her name to me. Not onlyh did she tell me her daughters name but also that she had a dog named twobits and that she wanted to go home to sunridge, her care home. Her Daughters visit was short, half hour or so, my mom and I resumed our connection with Viola and enjoyed ourselves. Viola is leaving today to go back to her carehome.... The interaction for my mom was special. I just wanted to share this with you all, even though Viola could not speak per say we had the most amazing time, she touch me inside. Memories can be made anywhere anytime.
Judy, exactly what I said in a previous post about the fact that there doesn't have to be a spoken language to have communication It's not about the words but the connection. It's about making someone fell important... important enough that somebody stopped and listened! I am sure you made the daughter's day by letting her know that her Mom knew who she was. Mom does that from time to time, call my name before I get to her, but it's gone by the time I arrive at her side. It is always a blessing when somebody tells me it has happened before I get in ear shot. I love stories such as these because it does tell us that our loved ones are still there under all the fog of this disease, we just have to find the moments when they can connect with us.... create moments when they an connect. It warmed my heart to hear.. thank you!!!
It's what I try to do when I visit mom's old place. I hold their hand. I listen to them. I talk to them. I look them in the eye and sing to them. They crave it. The need it. People who say they don't visit because they think their loved ones don't know them or don't communicate are losing so much.