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Old 01-12-2012, 10:42 AM   #1
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my journery, my ramblings.

For you who have been following my journery with my mom as she waits for placement. Although my mom is in the hospital waiting I hope and pray that things can only get better for her when she is finally placed. it has been 3 long months of fustration and anixeity for all concerened. after the initial surgery and hip replacement we knew that mom would have to go to a specialized care unit for Alz. what we didn't know was that the road to this eventual placement was/is filled with potholes. some so large that they could swallow you whole, some so small that you stumble. I have gone from a daughter who looked after my parents to a caregiver for my mom. I have learned to help my mom walk, watching and helping her eat, help her to the bathroom, keep her cloths clean and fresh and lately have undertaken giving my mom a sponge bath. I watch the nurses carefully to make sure that she gets her meds on time. I watch to see who interacts with her and who she really dislikes. Some nights I go home and worry until I return the next day, some days I can go home and know that the shift that is on will look after her and i can relax. Each and every day when I arrive at the hospital and ride that elevator to the third floor my stomach ties in knots and I know that what ever I encounter when the doors open that I have to be upbeat and happy for my mom. some days it is harder than others. some days when the nurses do not meet my eyes as I arrive I know that it will be a hard day or has been already a hard day for my mom. I live for those days that when I arrive my mom is smiling and knows me. this does not always happen. Yes she is in a hospital but though out the months I have come to realize that does not mean that she will get her meds on time, that does not mean that they pay attention to her when she needs to go to the batheroom, that does not mean that they will sit with her to make sure she can open her milk that comes in a sealed container, that does not mean that they will spend the time to engage her. I have yelled, wrote letters, talked my head off to make sure that the above things will be done but the truth of the matter is that There are too few nurses and too many patients. There is always a more important crisis happening. There is always someone who needs something right away so those that can are made to wait. Imagine waiting to go to the bathroom and told that it will be a few minutes that turn into half hour which could turn into an hour. Imagine wanting to walk and restained in a chair because there is no one to help. Imagine being left in you own silent room not knowing where you are and hearing all kinds of strange noises just on the other side of the doors. If you had told me a year ago that this would happen I would not have believed you, I would not have beleived that my life would come to a complete stop, that friends would drift away. That some of my best friends are people that I have never met face to face. that the support that I thurst comes from unknowen people from all over the world who do not judge me and support me in my darkest hours. I guess I just want to thank each and every one of you for walking with me and for letting me talk,cry,scream and be there for me when even family members are not there. This road I am on is not only lonely but scary as there is only one end to this journery. With your help I have been able to travel it a little wiser.

lov judy,,,

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: jagsmu
ninamarc (01-13-2012), sleepless84 (01-13-2012)
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Old 01-12-2012, 10:50 AM   #2
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

Judy.... you eloquent note here speaks for each of us. Just knowing we are in this together does give me strength to go on. When I have stumble there is always somebody her to pick me up and I hope I have been able to pick up a few myself. Those I depended on have dropped by the way side but this place and the people here remain to carry me along. This is not what any of us ever imagined but it is where we are. We will be stronger for the journey and blessed to have each other. Love to you all for everything

Love, deb

 
Old 01-12-2012, 01:38 PM   #3
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

i know its a hard journey. somehow we do what we have to do no matter how hard it is. i read your note and began to cry remembering the same feelings i had. thank goodness for all the people on this board. the help i was given was immense. stay strong, take deep breaths and remember you cant control this horrible disease. hugs to you debbie

 
Old 01-13-2012, 01:19 PM   #4
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

Judy,

You have written well about the journey. Yes we would not have imagined this years ago.
I would not dreamed that this would happen back in 2000. I saw the trace back then but had no clues. The only impression was from a lousy movie where the person sits idly in the wheelchair in the kitchen. I had no idea it would take so long. It has been 7 years since we took over the care for my FIL! 7 years!! My!
We finally sold his house today. Hope the inspection will pass.

So you know, it is a long way to go. I sure hope you will find more support to go along with this. I am sorry your Mom is still in the hospital..

Just my tip: maybe you can find someone who claimes as family visitor to come to see to your Mom overnight or during the daytime in the hospital. Would they check if these caregivers are in the union or something? Just say they are family visitors. Of course, find someone you can trust. Not under the table... Just cannot imagine they would come over and tell your caregiver to get out???

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 01-13-2012 at 01:21 PM.

 
Old 01-13-2012, 03:03 PM   #5
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

i know i wrote you yesterday-computers! we are all here for support. you wrote a lovely note. this journey is so hard. when i read what you wrote i started to cry. it brought back so many memories. take deep breaths and pauses. we have no control.. somehow we make it through. i thank veryone on this board-they are the best!

 
Old 01-13-2012, 03:35 PM   #6
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

I have just recently taken over the care of my mother and she is already pretty advanced in the disease. I guess you can say my journey is just beginning. I just wanted to say that I admire those who stand up and assume the responsibility that so many walk away from. I have learned quickly who I can and can't count on and it has been a bit disheartening. But I have learned to lean on those who are here for me when I need to, and I am so thankful to have found this group. I have learned so much in such a shot time and have gotten to share good and bad moments. I nice to know there are those out there who understand. I wish you all the love and luck in the world with your mother and I pray for all of us who are caregivers. May the Good Lord give us strength, patients, and sanity.

 
Old 01-15-2012, 08:19 PM   #7
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Re: my journery, my ramblings.

I empathize. A wonderful in-law was diagnosed a while back and the journey has been very taxing for him but also for the rest of the family. My in-law's spouse, I so admire her, she just takes things day by day and she has been so strong through it all. I wish your Mum and you strength.

Last edited by stasis4; 01-27-2012 at 08:18 PM.

 
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