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Old 01-24-2012, 12:46 PM   #1
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Hello!

I wanted to take time and say Hi to everyone. I have been reading post, but not commenting. I have not been on this site since last September. I feel like if I comment I am intruding on people that may not have been here when I was. I am writing so that I can get back in the swing of this board it has helped me so much in the past.

I continue this journey with my Mom. She is now in a wheel chair, she sleeps a lot and she now is on her third roommate. I am the only one that visits her anymore, everyone else has said it is to hard to watch, one Sister said that was not her Mother anymore and she would not be back. It has been a long three years and I am very tired.

Sending a lot of love to all the wonderful caregivers on this board.

CAJ/Julie

 
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: Hello!

Well my FIL has been in his wheelchair for 2 full months now. He still can use his walker to go to his bathroom in the morning. Since he stopped walking/talking full-time last summer, he began to hit the caregiver during the toileting process. So the doctor gave him low dose of antipsychotic drug and it helps. My FIL has his own private room. Yes he also sleeps more now in activity room. He would do this from after lunch until dinner time.

Maybe you can ask the doctor to prescribe something for her to be calm?
I am sure this is hard for the family to accept it. Even friends don't want to know the details because they feel very sad.

Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 01-24-2012 at 01:24 PM.

 
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:09 PM   #3
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Re: Hello!

it is a journey. she is still your mother and always go with your gut. try to forget your siblings they are scared and angry. i had the biggest fight with my brother when my mom was in the nh. its taken me 2 years to understand and forgive. its not worth it. i so know how tired you are. there is strength in you and just go with it. hugs to you

 
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Old 01-24-2012, 04:46 PM   #4
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Re: Hello!

Julie, I am delighted you are back We all need support and this is a great place. Never an interruption here, just all of us on the same path supporting each other along the journey. All are welcome

Don't worry about the others. Let that negativity go. Being angry, frustrated, or sad does nothing to them. It just makes you feel bad! Some can't seem to step up to responsibilities when it is difficult. That says a lot about your courage and strength Being with you Mom now will be a blessing to you both. Yes, Mom is still in there even if she can not express herself because of this horrible disease. Somewhere in there she knows who is by her side.

Again... it is good to have you back and look forward to hearing more from you!

Love, deb

 
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:03 AM   #5
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Re: Hello!

just dropping in to say hello....

judy

 
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Old 01-25-2012, 04:48 PM   #6
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Re: Hello!

Julie my brother lived half a world away when mum was in care. He would have been on the next plane had I asked. I kept him 100% up to date but did not want him to come and see mum as she was, not knowing us. I wanted his forever memory of her to be of the glorious, intelligent dynamic person we knew. I will never know if I did the right thing!! My friend's adult son refused to visit his father - dying of a brain tumour. We all cope in different ways and you are the strong one. Ce

 
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:18 PM   #7
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Re: Hello!

Cejay... there is no right or wrong, there is no look back, and there are no regrets. We all do what we think is right in the moment for us and the ones around us. On the flip side we have to respect the choices of others even if they are not to our liking. It's the only way to get through this disease in tact

Love, deb

 
Old 01-26-2012, 07:53 AM   #8
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Re: Hello!

I often updated the info. about my FIL for my husband's half brother in Poland. Basically my FIL divorced my half BIL's Mom and the son so naturally my FIL only gave them money and never saw him again for 45 years. The BIL is doing the best to be informed and say the right things, and we are doing the best to be like a family. Now my FIL cannot give my BIL money anymore due to his incompetency and my BIL does not ask for it anymore.
My FIL is not one without any fault. Forgiveness is needed and we all have to do what we can do and there is no judgment.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 01-26-2012 at 08:01 AM.

 
Old 01-27-2012, 12:20 PM   #9
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Re: Hello!

Hey Julie

I remember you and am glad to see you back. I'm sorry for ALL that you're going through.......I relate as I was the daughter who did the most visiting, taking care of, etc etc ad nauseum Although I do have to say, when push came to shove, my sisters did show up.

My Dear Stepdad passed away earlier this month, so now I'm on the other side of this horrid disease, but am grieving like crazy. I'm trying to come back to this board to offer solace to others, and also for myself. Keep on posting my dear! There's still lots of us here in all different phases of dealing with this disease.

Sending you big {{{hugs}}}

 
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