the surgery went well, she is taking her time waking up, she opened her eyes up for few minutes and she knew me, I asked if she knew who I was and she said in her fiesty way, of course. her sentences are mostly one worded, we are not sure on the prognosses yet, she has been though a hell of lot in the last four months, If she can not be up and walking by next friday she loses her placement...I can not say much about how the hospital bungled up on her by releasing her on monday,will be seeking legal counsel for advice, but her vitals are good, I came home for a bit and just getting ready to head back up, they do not have internet up there so I have to wait until I get home and most times I head straight to bed. I have not had time to go throught the post, but for you that are having trouble please know that I do think about you and send you strength, thank you for all you thoughts..
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: jagsmu aras (01-28-2012), ninamarc (01-27-2012)
Judy, glad your Mom came through the surgery well and hopefully her recovery will go as well. Hopefully you can send her back to her "home" and she can rehab there. That way she can keep her placement.
When I ran into a situation of neglect/incompetence I decided I didn't want monetary reparations. I wanted an admission of a problem and to scare them into fixing the problem for future patients. Their lawyers can talk to your lawyers for years. Then the lawyers get paid and you get very little. So I came up with a list of demands and gave them a time limit to comply... or I would call the State Department of Health and the AMA... Along with the Accreditation Joint Commission It worked!!... and the lawyers didn't get paid. State and Federal Agencies that control their licenses are fears far more than lawyers!
Hope you are taking care of yourself.... Know I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers...
mom is not doing very well, they are having a hard time controlling the pain with out completly sedating her, yesterday complete sedation was finally giving about 5.00 in the afternoon, I spent most of the day holding her hand trying to ease her fears to no avail, this was probably the very worst day ever for me and for my mom, As she yelled out to let me die, I also died inside a bit.... Her comprehension is still under question as she responding to us but still with a lot of gibberish and sometimes a yes or no or one worded answer...She does have good vitals and the whole hospital knows she has good lungs, she was moving her leg that just had the surgery on the hip and I guess that is a good thing even though it was unintentional. got some good sleep last night, at least 6 hours, so getting ready to go back up and be by her side... The health Care director told me that unless there is a miriacle and mom walks by next friday they have already alocated her placement to someone else... oh well that is the least of our concerns..
Deb this has far surpassed neglect/incompetence, like you thought I do want them to admit to there error, There are problems that need to be attended to and I will be and have already been asking for an internal investagtion on what went wrong, how did this happen with all the checks that go on, where did the communication break down. But I can not forgive them releasing my mom with a shattered hip, she was 5 days without proper pain maintenance, 6 days before the corrective hip surgery and now with an unknow prognossess..It will be a long time if ever that I can forget the awful moaning and groaning and mental angusih that she is going through due to this latest surgery. The sounds keep running through my head...
thanks for the thoughts that you are sending me way,
Last edited by jagsmu; 01-28-2012 at 07:40 AM.
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu: ninamarc (01-28-2012)
I am so sorry that your Mom is not doing well. I hope she will go back before next Friday...
How could they just give out the home! So sorry to know this.
She must feel very bad... I hope they find a good painkiller. it is hard because she has dementia and does not understand what the hospital is doing.
The doctor indeed should have noticed the problem before the move.
Well, now your Mom's recovery is the most important thing. Hope she will go through all this and go back to the home.
Prayers and thought are with you,
Not only are you dealing with the physical pain but you are also dealing with the emotional pain. She has no idea what they have done to her and why. All she know is that she is in a strange place, with people doing strange things to her, and it hurts. She has to feel like she is in an alien spaceship being probed. Her instincts say fight! Sometimes sedation is the only answer when they are in such distress. Their reaction to trauma is traumatic.
There are definitely problems that need to be addressed. There was definitely a break down in communication somewhere that allowed the broken hip to slip through undetected. It's not about forgetting or forgiving. Corrections have to be made. I just know that the medical community fears state and federal agencies much more than lawyers. They have high powered lawyers on retainer and shuffle legal matter right off their plate. State and federal agencies don't work that way. They are in their face, can fine them, can take away their license, and are general a pain to deal with that is unwanted. They bring it into their forefront rather than letting it be shuffled off to lawyers. Nope, I didn't forgive or forget... I just wanted to hit them where i knew it hurt the worst. The Accreditation Joint Commission can take away their accreditation and they lost their medicare/medicaid access. Now that bites!
And it is difficult to put those bad memories away in a place where we can live with them. It takes times. I still have flashes of Mom's horror in the ER three years ago. I often wonder what would have happened if it had been handled differently. Yes it was totally and completely botched by the ER personnel. I do have the satisfaction of knowing that the person responsible is no longer in the ER and there has been inservice related to dementia care. On return visits I have seen evidence of changes which does balm the pain a bit. I understand
today we/they are going to start waking my mom up, in other words back off the pain meds a bit and bump up the other meds. We are going to be opening the curtians, we have been keeping it nice and dark and quite for her, We have round the clock nurses on her and they are doing a wonderful job of helping us help her when we are there and they give confidence so I can come home at night and sleep a little. I am nervious and excited all at the same time, in my moms dillirem she was calling out and was speaking in full sentences, not that I can repeat what she said, even my face was turning red, anyway the nurses said that was a good sign that she did not lose her speach..
so wish us luck..
You have all my wishes and prayers that she will come thought this well. She, and you, have been through so much in such a short time. Yep, any words are good words. Not sure why those "special" words are what they seem to revert to but they work to express emotions... and to let is know they are still communicating! I am so glad they are working with you and Mom to get her through this with the least amount of distress possible. Again, I send my prayers and best wishes for an good recover.
The following user gives a hug of support to Gabriel: debbie g (01-29-2012)
not sure what is going on but the doctors have decieded to wait another day, today mom will be kept in a deep sleep...tommorow we are having a big pow-wow. I do hope and pray that this is because of all the truma that my mom has been put throught and the angusih that she has put herselve through the last couple of days. Another good days and night sleep will benefit all...
Last edited by jagsmu; 01-29-2012 at 01:05 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu: debbie g (01-30-2012)
Yes, another day of healing for Mom, rest for you both, and a little closer to her being able to wake up without pain and discomfort. At this point you have to trust in those caring for her. Hopefully tomorrow she would wake up better than she would have today. You just have to keep hoping for the best.... Hang in there
The Following User Says Thank You to Gabriel For This Useful Post: jagsmu (01-29-2012)
the days are starting to run together, yesterday my mom woke up from the dellirum for a bit and we had a great chat for 10-15 minutes, yesterday the nurses had my mom stitting up with her legs swing a little bit on the side of the bed, she had no pain,she is still slipping in and out of the dellirum but it seems to not be lasting as long, She has lost her place at the lodge!.. so back onto the wait list although we are at the top, she has to be able to be able to bear weight on her legs before she can be placed at this paticular unit, if she can't then that will remain to be seen what the next step is...one good thing when I was talking to her she had no clue as to what has happened, no memory of the pain she has endured... thank god for small blessings...
.... and why the deep sleep may have been to her advantage. The loss of recent memory is such a horrible thing but in some situations it is to their benefit. Hopefully the delirium will diminish, Mom will realize she can walk again, and placement will come quickly. I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers for a quick conclusion. ... and then hopefully a period of calm for you both! You have both been through so much!
Mom is not doing very well, almost seems like she has given up the fight, tonight I am reflecting on this and if this is her choice then I need to be good with it and not be selfish. I know that sometimes they really surprise us and perhaps this is a false hope that I am holding onto. The next little bit we well follow her lead. She is still eating if one feeds her but mostly she is not with us. The nurses that are with her are fantastic and I can only thank god these girls are there to help, they have and are taking wonderful care of mom and if my mom desires to come back it will be these angels that have given her the time to deside
Thanks for letting me say out loud what until now was only in my mind,
Last edited by jagsmu; 02-01-2012 at 09:53 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu: ninamarc (02-02-2012)
Judy, I am sorry your Mom is not doing well but as you said... you have to follow her lead. Yes, sometimes they surprise us and we keep hoping for that surprise while preparing ourselves for what else might be. As I always felt, prepare for the worst and expect the best. I am just glad you have such an excellent staff to take care of your Mom. I am sure that gives you some peace and being able to leave her and get some rest is wonderful. Please keep us updated when you can and know that I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. May the way be easy for her and may you find the strength and courage that you will need.
Is she back in the care home or in the hospital?
I am sorry that she is not doing well. Hope they will keep her comfortable.
It is the nature's or God's call. Sure hope she will be stronger.
I heard that sometimes the will to live is one factor, but I sure hope she will pull through.
Praying for your Mom.
these are sure topsy turvy days, and they are running together, there are a lot of highs and lots of lows, yesterday I was talking to the head of VIHA,the man in charge of all of British Columbia's patient health care and he kept giving me condolences,Now how am I suppose to talk without crying... I was scared to call the hospital to see how she was doing, i about had a nervious breakdown on the way to the hospital to visit, when I did arrive mom was sleeping, she has not had much in the way of food, I sat and held her hand and she woke up, saw me crying and she gave me such a scowl that it made me and the nurse laugh, she ate a little bit of pudding, she ate her meds, and the newest thing is mixing ensure with icecream, works great and she had about 3 teaspoons of that, not much but more than the day before, she reconized me for which i am thankful so I guess it was a good day...taking moments for my memory album, one day at a time right!!!.
you guys are cheaper than therapy sessions, for this I am so very thankful.
Last edited by jagsmu; 02-03-2012 at 12:30 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to jagsmu: ninamarc (02-04-2012)
What Debbie said!! It is the only way to survive the roller coaster we find ourselves on. Ensure in ice cream is a standard. They love the cool creamy taste and it's easy to swallow. Not to mention it's loaded with calories. Know that hydration is much more important than nutrition. We can live for weeks with very little food but we need hydration in the form of liquids. The ice cream and ensure is a consistency that helps with hydration but do try to get liquids in her, especially if there is not an IV.
Mom scolded you You have to laugh and know ... Mom knows best!!! I am so very glad you had a good day with your Mom, especially after all the anxiety. I do hope tomorrow goes as well and you have more good memories to file away for a distant day. I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers!
my mom took a turn for the worse last night, she is now in palitife care, she will be comfortable and out of pain physically and mentally, she is refusing to eat, I told her yesterday that we would be okay and that I would look after dad and she smiled and slipped into a sleep. I phoned my brother and he said the most courious thing, how lucky I was to have been able to be with mom and chat, you know he was right. my heart is breaking and I just can not imagine the next couple of days or week...
my heart does out to you Jags. You and your Mom have been though so much. Yet your brother is right. You have so much to be thankful for. All those little moment of joy, those precious memories, will be with you for a life time. It wasn't luck. It was you placing yourself square in the middle of the storm to grab every little bit of good you could.
Don't try to imagine the next few days or weeks because there is no way you can begin to imagine. Just go with each moment. Hold her hand, Talk to her. Celebrate her life and you stand beside her as you have done for so long. You may cry or you may laugh. You may be noisy or you may sit in quiet solitude. You may be anxious or you may be calm. Just know that it is all right. Let this time be what you and your Mom need it to be. Do not fear it... embrace it.
And know my thoughts and prayers go with you for the strength and courage you will need.... and with your Mom for an easy comfort.
The Following User Says Thank You to Gabriel For This Useful Post: jagsmu (02-03-2012)