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Old 02-25-2012, 07:20 PM   #1
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Dementia and Hospice Care

What a blessing to finds a group like this. I never realized so many people are going thru or have gone thru the same thing I am experiencing.
My Mom had a stroke in April 2002. The stroke left her unable to ever walk again. Her mind however was sharper than mine!

I returned my mother's home in 2002 to take care of my mother as my brothers all live out of town. To make this story a little shorter, she entered a nursing home here in town in a few months. For 9 years, I have been taking care of and watching over my mom. She is now 87.

About 9 months ago, out of the clear blue sky, she suddenly didnít know where she was, how she got there or what happened to her. Of course, I panicked wondering what in the world was going on with her.
For those of you that have ever had someone you love in a nursing home, you know how diligent you have to be regarding the care your loved one receives.

Needless to say, since October of 2011, Mom was in the hospital 4 times.
Finally, the doctors and social worker at the hospital referred me to Hospiceís Comfort Care program for dementia. It was quite obvious that my mom needs more care then the nursing home can provide.
It has only been weeks since this comfort care team has been in place but I feel that now she has a few more caretakers besides myself .
I wish we had a separate facility for those that need to have Hospice Care but unfortunately we do not.

I thought that the past 9 years of caring for my mom were filled with many emotions and stresses but now I see that this is and will continue to be the hardest part for me.

I love to read all of the posts on your forum and will continue to do so.

 
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:46 AM   #2
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

hello vera, you have found the right place, I have just gone through what you are about to enter into, enjoy every moment you can with your mom and when it gets really hard pull those memories up. I am glad that you have found your way here, keep posting and go ahead and vent or cry or scream we will listen and lend you a shoulder to lean on..

hugs judy.

 
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:58 PM   #3
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

Vera, welcome to our little corner!! I hate you needed to find us but so very glad you did. Yes, it is amazing how many are on this same journey and a place like this gives us a place where we can compare notes, support each other, and vent frustrations. This forum has been my constant companion for many years now and I hope you find a home here as well.

We are definitely our loved ones advocates in a care facility. They can not speak for themselves and we have to watch out for them. Even in a great situation you never know when that one personnel change will change everything and turn it upside down. So I do keep a sharp eye on what is going on.

I am with you in my gratefulness for Hopsice dementia care. I used them the last 3 months with my Dad and Mom has been on board for about 6 months now. My FIL was actually in a Hospice house after his stroke and they cared for my MIL in the home her last few months. They are amazing and wonderful.... and gives you a sense of peace knowing you are not the only one watching out for Mom. I waited too long with Dad but didn't make that same mistake with Mom. I am truly their advocate as they are Mom's advocate

Look forward to talking to you more

Love, deb

 
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:05 AM   #4
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

Quote:
Originally Posted by vera4567 View Post

Needless to say, since October of 2011, Mom was in the hospital 4 times.
Finally, the doctors and social worker at the hospital referred me to Hospice’s Comfort Care program for dementia. It was quite obvious that my mom needs more care then the nursing home can provide.
It has only been weeks since this comfort care team has been in place but I feel that now she has a few more caretakers besides myself .
I wish we had a separate facility for those that need to have Hospice Care but unfortunately we do not.

I thought that the past 9 years of caring for my mom were filled with many emotions and stresses but now I see that this is and will continue to be the hardest part for me.

I love to read all of the posts on your forum and will continue to do so.
I am sorry your Mom now needs hospice. Where my FIL is also has home hospice mixed with regular residents. I think it is a good idea. On the one hand, the person would still feel like she is at home, on the other hand, the hospice team can take good care of her.

My FIL had been in his home for at least 6 years until we moved him to the NH for memory impaired. He likes this new home! So we won't move him to anywhere else for hospice. He is in severe stage and he is 91. I don't think a hospice facility is necessarily better - depressing for sure.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 02-28-2012 at 10:06 AM.

 
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Old 02-28-2012, 12:11 PM   #5
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

Hi Vera

Just wanted to say welcome. I recently lost my dear stepdad on 1/2/12 to dementia. Yes, just wanted to say also - hospice is great. We didn't have my stepdad on hospice for very long, as once he started his final decline, he went pretty quickly. But as you can see, we all have different experiences to share.

I wish you all the best. Those of us who have cared for our loved ones and/or been the family that stay close and do the brunt of the work are a special group. That I know! You indeed found a great place for support here!

 
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Old 03-13-2012, 12:13 PM   #6
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

Hi Vera -

I haven't been on the boards much lately, but was wondering how you're doing?

Thinking of you & sending big {{{hugs}}}

 
Old 03-13-2012, 06:08 PM   #7
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

hi and welcome patience is a virtue. i know how hard it is. these boards are great. keep posting

 
Old 03-14-2012, 04:25 AM   #8
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Re: Dementia and Hospice Care

Hi Vera
Just checking in to say welcome aboard and we are here for you. This is a great place to vent.
My mother has been on Hospice about 6 months now and I don't want to think about not having them care for my mother. They are a wonderful benefit and one of the few things a family can depend on to help care for their loved ones.
Keep posting we are listening.
Aras

 
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