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Old 05-15-2012, 07:40 AM   #1
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The other wing

Right now we are really considering something decisive. There is a space available in the other wing for worse patients in late May. It is semi-private room. My FIL is not talking/walking and needs to be fed regular puree food.
For sure the other wing's activities are better for him with quieter setting and less disturbance with groups. He now hates his groups and people there although he does not mind company to keep him from being alone.
This does not mean he wants his private space to be invaded.

If we don't move him there, there are less caregivers this side (2 less). They all say it is good for him over the other wing. Now he is actually eating over the other wing - the west wing. Same numbers of patients (32) and with smaller dining area near the nurse station.

I don't know if such move would make him feel worse or not. Back home, he told the other mate in the hospital to get out. Now he probably is oblivious.
For sure they will share the bathroom.
Both wings have same style of rooms and the lobby there is different.They can always come to the East wing for activities in the day.

The gain is the service over there for sicker people like my FIL who is in severe stage.
Actually I got a question: it seems he declines faster given severe stage - like every 2 or 3 months or so? Is this common?

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-15-2012 at 08:01 AM.

 
Old 05-15-2012, 08:46 AM   #2
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Re: The other wing

The rate of decline is a very individual thing and it can change as the disease progresses. They may seem stable for a while and then decline rapidly. So whatever progression you see with your FIL is probably his normal.

As for moving him.... what happened in the past is no indication of what will be when he moves. Anything is possible but his awareness will be less than it was before. Many times having a room mate is an issue earlier in the disease and not an issue later. You basic issue here is the care that your FIL needs and it appears that he will get more of that care in the new wing. He is not capable of joining into group activities and enjoying them. The one on one of the new wing would be a substitute for the group activities and more to his liking.

It is good that they are taking him to the new wing during the day. This will help him become familiar with the new space while maintaining his old familiarity with the old space. Gradually leaving him in the new space more and more will help that transition. As for how he will feel when he moves to the new space..... you will have to wait and see. If the confusion of groups and activities in the old space are disturbing to him he might just be happier in the quieter atmosphere of the new space.

Love, deb

 
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Old 05-15-2012, 09:16 AM   #3
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Re: The other wing

Deb, does your Mom have a roommate? How does it work out?
Nina

 
Old 05-15-2012, 09:34 AM   #4
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Re: The other wing

Mom does not have a room mate at this time. Her room mate was Dad. They were in one of the larger private rooms with a queen size bed. After his death we left her in the same room but as a private room. I will say that Mom never stays in her room except to sleep and for ADLs. At this point, if there was a way to add a room mate to her room, I don't think she would even notice. I have even considered moving her to a semi private if one of the end rooms becomes available.

Love, deb

 
Old 05-15-2012, 10:35 AM   #5
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Re: The other wing

There was a real case in MA in 2009. In this NH, 2 elderly women lived in a room. Both 100 and 98! Most of the times, they were like sisters or good friends during the meal time and activities.
Well, somehow the younger woman began to get upset thinking the bathroom was all hers! She blocked the older lady from going to the bathroom and tried all the tedious tricks. Guess she can still walk.
Well the NH knew but figured that they were good friends.
Guess what, one night, while the caregiver was off for a few minutes, she used a plastic bag to cover up the other lady's head and killed her.

Don't know what level of dementia they have but they both had/have Alzheimer's. The younger lady must be in some mental institution now.
The family of the victim didn't really want to sue anyone. Guess it has been a long shot for both!

In general, the NH probably could separate them but they didn't realize it will go this far! (The older lady declined to move.)

Sorry for this sad tale, but I wonder maybe at times we all underestimate how the person thinks in a semi-private room.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-15-2012 at 10:55 AM.

 
Old 05-15-2012, 04:57 PM   #6
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Re: The other wing

That was one case in the millions of shared accommodations around the country. Freak things do happen infrequently, but they do happen. If you spend your entire life warding off every possible freak occurrence that is all you would be doing. Most care facilities try to put compatible room mates together and will make changes if necessary. Potentially dangerous residents usually go for psych treatment and/or moved to areas where they can be closely watched and in private rooms. Yet you are dealing with a population of cognitively impaired individuals. Remember that it's not just limited to room mates. The facility population has many ambulatory residents do they can go in any room, even a private room. One of the other residents on Mom's hall used to tussle with Mom all the time. Sometimes she went in Mom's room, sometimes Mom went into her room, and sometimes it's 3 rounds in the hallway! This stuff happens (without such a catastrophic outcome) because of the nature of the disease and it doesn't matter if they are room mates or not. Yet it is a priority for the staff to control the situation and most do a great job.

Love, deb

 
Old 05-16-2012, 06:59 AM   #7
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Re: The other wing

Yes there may be many other incidents that are not limited to roommates.
Well, I found another news in Chicago - the guy dropped the clock on top of the roommate and killed him!

Well, the other website did recommend that the NH needs to be on top of it to ensure the patients' mood or delusions are under control. The thing is we can only control our own family but cannot control the other family which is up to the NH to deal with.
I would be careful before I move my FIL to a semi-private room. My husband wants to wait until Oct. to do it - when my FIL will be less alert.
My FIL is a headstrong guy and he would burst out his anger out of the blue. The NH has never seen it so they don't understand. We need to be prudent, that is all. Not that I don't trust the NH to handle it all.

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-16-2012 at 07:10 AM.

 
Old 05-16-2012, 08:48 AM   #8
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Re: The other wing

my mom loved being with a room mate when she had one, To tell the truth I would have prefered one in the earlier stages. it was a comfort to mom to have someone there, even in her later stages she liked being around people. I would certainly give it a chance and know that he will be getting better care, that is what it is all about...
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:01 AM   #9
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Re: The other wing

Quote:
Originally Posted by jagsmu View Post
my mom loved being with a room mate when she had one, To tell the truth I would have prefered one in the earlier stages. it was a comfort to mom to have someone there, even in her later stages she liked being around people. I would certainly give it a chance and know that he will be getting better care, that is what it is all about...
Judy, my FIL is very well cared for right now in his current wing. He can also eat and join the activities in the west wing, so he has no need to move there right now. So we can consider it when he gets worse or bedridden - this may be in the fall or even next year. We can always hire moe one on one caregiver to help him out. It is still group care in the other wing anyway.

My FIL is not like any person. He has the delusion that he is a big boss at work. Given his status (an emeritus professor and MD & PhD), he thinks he delegates other people to work while he is resting. So any new roommate could make him mad and tell him to get out. We have no back up if we give out this private room now. If things go wrong, they will only add sedative so we don't want to even risk that little chance.

He is fine now so we will consider moving later this year. As the residential care director said, we can move him within a year. This is just the beginning!

Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-17-2012 at 11:02 AM.

 
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