| | MIL hurting herself
Hi, I've been gone for a while but I try to come around every once in a while.
My MIL has been diagnosed with Dementia and Parkinson 3 years ago. She's been through a lot, she kad all kind of infections, she's been dealing with a bed soar for almost 2 years now, and so on.
During all these years, she has had a few episodes of needing to scratch herself. While in the hospital the nurses had to tie her down because of that. This happened twice and always while in the hospital.
Now is the first time in the NH. She's been scratching herself for three months or so, she keeps hurting her arms and legs and is always in danger of an infection.
It's getting worse and worse because she's been scratching her bed soar now.
She doesn't even realizes she's doing it. One day I was there with her and she kept promising she wouldn't do it anymore, while she was doing it! She didn't realize she was scratching herself in front of me.
Then she realized that if I didn't see injuries in her arms I wouldn't complain, so she started scratching her back and her arms were fantastic. I was talking with her about it and she was all smiles until one of the nurses came and told me about the back, so I asked her why she was doing it and she yelled at me "DON'T BE MAD!! YOU CAN'T SEE THE BACK!!", so she did know what she was doing (or so I thought).
Doctors don't know what to do anymore. We spent thousands of dollars in different types of lotions, medications, etc... and NOTHING works. Now I'm just ignoring the injuries and don't talk about it, I'm testing if she's doing it to call my attention. If I have to run to take a new medicine (something that's been happenning A LOT), I don't go to her room if it's not my visitation day. I don't want her to think that if she has an emergency she has me there to little chats...
This is so bad that the nurses don't put clothes on her anymore, she is with her sleeping gown all day long, so they can tie it under her diaper. Last time I was there the nurses were in shock because she became violent after the diaper change.
Obviously by the time I arrived she remembered nothing about it and even cried when I asked her to be more delicate with her nurses. Sometimes I wonder if she does it on purpose and tries to be this cute old lady only when I'm around (I know it's the disease).
This last three months have been really tough on me and even when I used to enjoy going to see her weekly, now I find myself not wanting to go at all, because there's always a new problem for me to deal with.
Her son doesn't help at all because she is very aggressive towards him and that kills him. I try not to push but I need help and don't know what else to do. I'm reading right now an amazing article about alzheimer and dementia that might help him realize how sick his mom is, but I'm sure he won't read it at all... so I'm really lonely here and I'm about to lose it.
Any idea how to make it better?
Thanx in advance,
* Excuse my sometimes poor English, it's not my primary language *