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Old 05-29-2012, 05:30 PM   #1
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Showering...

Any suggestions on how to get my 83 year old Dad to shower? At least once a week? Stage 3 getting into 4 we estimate.Ambilatory, uses restroom himself, feeds himself. Every time my Mom or I mention a shower, he already says he has taken one... He of course hasn't. Thoughts?

Last edited by Emmasue; 05-29-2012 at 05:31 PM.

 
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Old 05-29-2012, 06:00 PM   #2
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Re: Showering...

Emmasue Sounds like my Dad but he would sniff under his arms as he said he didn't need one. It was actually funny!

When did your Dad usually take his shower. My Dad always showered in the morning as soon as he got out of bed. If we could catch him in the bathroom... in his boxers and t-shirt we had a chance. When he would sit down on the toilet I would snitch his boxers with an explanation that he needed clean ones. Once the boxers were gone the t-shirt was easier to get off. Once he had on no clothes I could turn on the water, adjust the temp, and hand him a wash cloth and he would get in. I had to put the shampoo on his head, make sure he used soap (body wash was useful because I could just squirt it on the rag), and check to make sure he was properly rinsed. While he was in the shower I would swap the dirty clothes he intended to put on for clean ones. I also put his walled and change in his pockets. He didn't have a clue they were clean But the trick to getting them in the shower is not to ask. No amount of conversation is going to get the job done. Just figure out when he normally took a shower and help him in that direction! If he puts up a big argument then let it go until tomorrow. Eventually you will find a routine that works for you both.

Love, deb

 
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:04 PM   #3
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Re: Showering...

Thanks so much Deb! I'll try this out on him!!!

 
Old 05-30-2012, 07:03 AM   #4
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Re: Showering...

This sounds like how the nursing home tricks my aunt into showering/bathing when she doesn't want to (which is usually!)

The funny part is that about 20 minutes later she realizes that she was tricked and calls me to tell me not to trust those people, they're sneaky and tricky - they just tricked her into taking a shower!

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Originally Posted by Gabriel View Post
Emmasue Sounds like my Dad but he would sniff under his arms as he said he didn't need one. It was actually funny!

When did your Dad usually take his shower. My Dad always showered in the morning as soon as he got out of bed. If we could catch him in the bathroom... in his boxers and t-shirt we had a chance. When he would sit down on the toilet I would snitch his boxers with an explanation that he needed clean ones. Once the boxers were gone the t-shirt was easier to get off. Once he had on no clothes I could turn on the water, adjust the temp, and hand him a wash cloth and he would get in. I had to put the shampoo on his head, make sure he used soap (body wash was useful because I could just squirt it on the rag), and check to make sure he was properly rinsed. While he was in the shower I would swap the dirty clothes he intended to put on for clean ones. I also put his walled and change in his pockets. He didn't have a clue they were clean But the trick to getting them in the shower is not to ask. No amount of conversation is going to get the job done. Just figure out when he normally took a shower and help him in that direction! If he puts up a big argument then let it go until tomorrow. Eventually you will find a routine that works for you both.

Love, deb

 
Old 05-30-2012, 08:16 AM   #5
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Re: Showering...

It is always tricky to ask them to take a shower!! I know even now, my FIL still hates it. So bad that they only give him one shower each week. The bath tub or shower room is fancy in this nursing home for memory impaired, but he still hates it.
Last year over Easter, he just finished the bath when we visited him. At first he was OK with the caregiver who just took him out and he was in fresh pajamas. Well the minute he saw his son, he began to talk saying it was a torture! Take me home tomorrow! He was able to talk at that time so he still has the same tune.

Back home, so many times he could not take a shower without big help. Sometimes he got used to the lady caregiver and was able to comply. We had to have routine - if he gets up without being dressed yet, the caregiver put him in the bath right away. That way, it is easier so he can get dressed for the rest of the day and they don't have to worry about taking off his clothes for a night shower or something. Once the male caregiver came in early and gave him a shower. When we came downstairs in his old house, he asked my husband if we took a shower too? Do we have people who bugs us to take a shower that early???

My FIL is in severe stage of Alzheimer's but he has never liked to take a shower ever since he got dementia. The caregiver in the home manages to give him a shower just once a week. They give him sponge bath or wash on the face and private part every morning. You really cannot clean the person who hates water completely. Just do what you can. My FIL is afraid of water. Someone here has a Mom who is not afriad of water but most people with dementia do. They are not sure about the water temp. and etc.
So you also need to make sure the water temp. is right and get the new clothes ready and etc. Just like you are going to wash a baby. Also Dad may forget the steps to take a shower, you have to be patient to guide him. If he forgets how, he will give up.

My FIL also refused to take a shower in the beginning back in 2006 and told people he took it at night but he never did. The caregiver had to tell him step by step how to take a shower. Later on they had to put on soap for him using a washcloth.
Now my FIL is taking low dose of antipsychotic drug so they can do his toileting without him being angry about it. He would strike out or say "AH" loudly if someone offends him.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 05-30-2012 at 08:21 AM.

 
Old 05-30-2012, 06:45 PM   #6
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Re: Showering...

My fil refuses the shower. He gets to violent. We sponge bathe him while he is on the toilet then finish up when he stands. It is messy but it works. At this point in time I would rather both of us not go through the stress. As long as he is clean.

My husband said it was how he was raised to clean up at the sink.

 
Old 05-31-2012, 07:45 AM   #7
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Re: Showering...

I told my Mom that we may have to do this with my Dad. He isn't violent, he just doesnt want to get into the shower,and who wants to upset him? Not us. But we want him to be clean.

 
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