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Old 06-21-2012, 04:44 PM   #1
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baboosh44 HB User
Father with Alzheimer's and Brain Bleed

I guess I need to find a local support group, I have many questions and frustrations. My Father is 70 yrs old and has had a slow progression of Alzheimer's for over 10 yrs now. He was living alone after my Mother passed from ovarian cancer 3 yrs ago. He had done pretty well taking care of himself except for taking medications (didn't remember or didn't want to) and being a man 6'2" 127 lbs. would only eat sweets and chips, no matter how much food his church would drop off for him he would always resort to the easy junk. Anyway, a month ago he was driving to church on the wrong day, wrong time, and west instead of east (brain bleed started at home). He drove on the wrong side of the road and ran some folks into a ditch and then he hit head on into a tree. He pretty much got out of the truck and was extremely confused but only a huge bump on his eye socket. The brain bleed was what they call a Intracerebral Parietal Lobe (Rt) Hemorrhage 4 x 3 cm. He went through 2 weeks of rehab when he got out of the Hospital and came home with us. He has been told (by medical staff and us of course) that he can not return to living alone nor can he drive. My Dads truck is fixed and back from the body shop and he can't stop obsessing about driving and we are getting exausted with the same conversations as to "why can't I Drive..Live Alone..". I love him but I'm going crazy. We are awaiting medicaid to see if he qualifies, but don't know that I'll be able to put him into an assisted living facility and he is too young and really with it for the most part. Sorry this is so long....Thank you as well for reading my thoughts, rants.

Leanna :-)

 
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Old 06-21-2012, 09:16 PM   #2
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Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: Father with Alzheimer's and Brain Bleed

Leanna... it is obvious that no matter the age he is not able to live alone or drive. No he does not understand this. He doesn't know what is wrong with him. It is up to you to make sure he is safe. That means no living alone and no driving.

First, do NOT let the truck come back to where he can see it. Leave it in the shop!! Or at least let him think it is still there. Telling him he can't drive with the truck sitting there is useless and only annoys you both. If it is already back then tell him it needed to go back for more repairs and don't let it appear again. Tell him because of the accident he has to stay with you. End of story. The more you try to explain and convince him that he is unable to live along and drive the more frustrated you are both going to be.

He is ok for the most part!?!?! He doesn't take his medications. He only eats junk food and not what is available. He drove to church on the wrong day, the wrong way, on the wrong side of the road, forced people off the road and hit a tree.... sounds less than OK to me. This can and will happen again, or something worse. Just the fact that he is irrationally obsessing about living along and driving tells you that he can not live along and drive. How young is too young? Early onset Alzheimer's Disease affects those in there 40's and 50's. There is no too young for this disease. You have to respond to his symptoms and not his age. What he has was a stroke. This causes further brain damage to add to the Alzheimer's.

If he is too anxious then ask his doctor for medication that might help him relax. Please do not argue with him or try to have a rational conversation with him to explain the situation. Give him a fiblet that validates is emotions and hope for the future (though you know it is not going to happen). "I know you don't like being here and not driving!" That will validate that you understand how he is feeling. "The doctor said you need to stay here a while and the truck is still being repaired, we will see what the doctor says next week."... big smile. You know he is not going home and will not drive again but this will give him something to hang on to for a while. Just keep moving the date up a week

Yes, he is going to repeat himself and not understand. You will have to be patient with him. His life has just changed in a dramatic way. He has lost his independence and mobility. He does not understand why these things have happened to him. He is scared and frustrated.... far more than you are. His damaged brain will not let him understand. He thinks he is fine and the world has just gone crazy around him. Please be patient with him!!

Yes, you do need to find a support group. You have found one here and we will help in any way we can. You can also look on the Alzheimer's Association web site for support groups in your area. They can be a great help and you can contact with those locally that are going through the same thing. If you have a particularly difficult time, rather than getting angry at him, call the Alzheimer's Association hot line. It is manned 24/7 with amazingly knowledgeable individuals that can help you. And you can put your questions, frustrations, and venting here any times.

Love, deb

 
Old 06-21-2012, 10:31 PM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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baboosh44 HB User
Re: Father with Alzheimer's and Brain Bleed

Thank you for your words and suggestions. Such a hard process for him and I both, I have lyme disease, depression and anxiety. I'm sure getting in touch with support groups will be the first move. Thank you again.

Leanna

 
Old 06-21-2012, 10:34 PM   #4
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Re: Father with Alzheimer's and Brain Bleed

Leanna, yes it is very hard in the beginning to understand the changes that this disease bring with it. Please read all you can on the disease. Learn as much as you can about how they act and react. It will serve you well as the disease progresses. The better you understand the better you will be able to cope. Know we will be here to help you any way we can!

Love, deb

 
Old 06-24-2012, 06:08 AM   #5
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Re: Father with Alzheimer's and Brain Bleed

Just want to second everything Gabriel has written.

Definitely find a local support to help get you through until you are able to figure out the next steps!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel View Post
Leanna... it is obvious that no matter the age he is not able to live alone or drive. No he does not understand this. He doesn't know what is wrong with him. It is up to you to make sure he is safe. That means no living alone and no driving.SNIP If you have a particularly difficult time, rather than getting angry at him, call the Alzheimer's Association hot line. It is manned 24/7 with amazingly knowledgeable individuals that can help you. And you can put your questions, frustrations, and venting here any times.

Love, deb

Last edited by Suzy0513; 06-24-2012 at 06:10 AM.

 
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