My Mom was and is a spitfire. Before Alzheimer's she knew where to channel her determination and fire. Now she usually channels it in my direction. Today I had to laugh. While sitting in her wheel chair she managed to get her feet high enough to prop them on the edge of the table. She always sat that way. Of course the staff was having a fit because of her feet on the table. I was laughing and trying to get a picture for my sisters and nieces. I finally pulled her feet back down the the foot rest and moved her back from the table. She threw a profanity at me and then called me the B word. I couldn't help it... I cracked up!! No, I don't have a prescription for Valium or nerves of steel. What I do have is a well developed sense of humor and I have learned to take things in stride. The world is not going to blow up if Mom puts her feet on the table. 100 years from now nobody will even remember it! I have not always been this way. It took years of practice while learning all I could about this disease and the way they think... but it has served me well. It's all about the mind set. I am a true believe in... it is not what happens but how you react that makes all the different in your mental status
I am glad you are looking for adult day care. Call your local Alzheimer's Association or the national hot line and they will be able to help you locate one if there is one available. Hopefully you will find one that will work for your Mom and give you some time.
You are doing a great job and do not let anyone say anything different... The care of your mom is going to be a long road with many ups and downs, pick your battles, if it really does not matter then do not worry about it, my sister had on two different socks, her hub was saying something to her and I just told him who cares about socks in the big scheme of things...pick your battles very carefully and swept the rest under the rug. Never argue with mom as in her mind she is right no matter what, if she say the sky is pink the by all means congratulate her in seeing the beauty of that color in the sky, this is all about learning to bend and take the path of least resistance, if your hub bangs into the bathroom door then he should learn to watch out for it, make sure mom has a small assortment of cloths or she will put the same ones one over and over as the selection for her will be to stressful and so she will put the same things on all the time..my mom loved sweat pants and tops, easy to wear and easy to dress themselves, you may find that mom will start to have trouble with buttons, no problem go to the nearest thrift store and pick up those wonderfully sweat shirts that have flowered designs and such, your local thrift store cand be a great friend, when things get soiled and stained through them out, if they were bought at the thrift store them it is only a few dollars, like I said don,t sweat the small stuff, keep all your energy for the big battles that my come your way..As for the nightly closing of the blinds, this is probably something she did at home and will continue doing, I would encourage momto do it and ask if she would leave one open so you can see out side, mom needs to feel like she is helping in some small way, sweeping the floor or folding cloths, anything to make her feel useful, please do not yell at mom, she really is trying her best, before you get fired up next time come here and yell with us, we can take it, we understand that you need to vent so anything goes here..
Thank you so much for being a loving daughter and taking care of your mom, remember to laugh it will make things a lot easier, laughter is good for the soul...
Deb I am glad I met you. You most definatly can teach me how to deal with this bs.
Although we had a good Sunday evening lastnight with Mom. Took her to get a good bacon cheeseburger at Becks and then stopped and got a quart of Butter Pecan ice cream from Baskin Robbins. SHE DIDN'T BLOW HER NOSE AT THE TABLE!!! She has bad sinus' and is constantly wiping her nose. I give her something for it every morning. I think being away from all the Oak tree's at the other place is helping We live in a fairly new neighborhood and the tree situation consists of 2 small Live Oaks in each yard.
Just replaced Moms glasses recently. They were so scratched up! But I figured out why- she was wiping them with paper towels, her shirt or the shotty kleenex she always has in her hand! Well put all the paper towels/kleenex away and if she wants to blow her nose, she must use toilet paper and I try to get her to throw the piece away once using it. So far, I've not caught her using anything but the special rags for glasses. Her glasses were $600 due to having to be Verilux lens, if you know about them.
I am not sure we ever went out to eat that Dad didn't blow his nose at least twice. He was old school with the handkerchief in his pocket... YUCK! I had to remember that those with dementia are in the moment and set in their older ways. If the nose runs then it has to be handled NOW... and with that yucky handkerchief that was later stored in his pocket! They lose the social graces and ability to empathize with others (a result of the damage done to the brain by this disease). It could have been an annoying habit but... after Dad died every one of the grandchildren wanted one of HIS handkerchiefs. It was just a part of who he was. With Mom it was allergy related and yep allergy medication did help her. We just let Dad be
Appliances are a whole different story. Glasses, hearing aids, dentures, canes, walkers, and the like can make you crazy if you let them. If Mom is keeping up with her glasses then you are on the plus side. I spent many hours looking for Dad's glasses. Once I even tried to get a second pair but optometrist do not like to make glasses from old prescriptions. Getting Dad to the eye doctor and him cooperating with an exam was bordering on impossible. It took some more looking but the glasses were found and fixed, scratches and all. Mom actually had surgery around to correct her vision and she was always looking for her non existent glasses. Drug store readers at the lowest value worked for her. As for taking care of their glasses... they couldn't take care of themselves so how could I expect them to take care of their glasses?
Hearing aids were my biggest problem. They had three between them. Dad had his long before dementia and didn't want to start his day without both of his. Mom got her's later and didn't want anything to do with it. I frequently found Mom and Dad with the wrong hearing aids in their ear. Dad said Mom's worked better!! They never remembered to change the batteries so they were more akin to ear plugs then hearing aids. Dad's oldest one had to be replaced because he would put it in his mouth when it didn't work and suck on it! You can buy several pair of glasses for a new hearing aid. Then Mom started taking hers out and stepping on them. As long as you have all the pieces and that little wire is in tact they can be repaired.... times four! I finally found a great audiologist that would come to the facility. I was successful in keeping at least one hearing aid working for Dad at all times (even if it meant him wearing Mom's for a while). I gave up on Mom and let her be as she wanted to be... without! Her auditory processing left early so she was not properly processing what she was hearing anyway. It was almost easier when she didn't hear all those sounds that she didn't understand and confused her. Mom's hearing aid has been in the med cart in it's nice soft case for the last 3 years Hearing aids run around $2,000 and a refurb repair is $250. So with that initial investment of $6,000 there was a follow up cost of $3,000 for broken hearing aids! But there is little you can do to make it different....
You just do the best you can with what they give you to work with. Getting angry and upset doesn't help anything. In so many ways it only makes the situation worse because Mom and Dad don't understand. Somewhere along the way I realized that all that other stuff is truly not important. It is about Mom and Dad, their contentment, and finding a balance that allowed me to enjoy the time I had left with them. I threw out a lot of preconceived notions about how things should be and learned to live in the moment while going with the flow they created.
If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times "pick you battles with your Mom". And such a true statement it is. When I got her over here, I thought I'd let her see how things run over here and that'd be that. Yeah, right. I bite my tongue, look the other way and flat just don't say anything about so much, it is crazy. I am a very blunt person, also a very clean housekeeper. I still haven't been able to keep quiet when I see my Mom standing on the kitchen floor, eating a granola and the crumbs are just bouncing off my newly mopped floor. Some things I am not budging on -plain and simple. I am her only surviving child so there is no one else. I will not put her in a place until it is necessary. I wouldn't want that done to me.
My Mom is in there right now folding clothes....she loves to fold clothes!! YAY
Could I ask you how you put the picture on your profile? Looking around but I don't see how to do it ;0)
I am glad your Mom is better and can fold her clothes! Well, she would not know that she needs to be clean and keep it tidy. It is another thing - the person with dementia does not know that she needs to be clean and would not know she needs to clean herself. Lots of elders with dementia end up not washing their hands a lot. In-home caregivers or NH caregivers can only wipe their hands so many times... Just make sure in the end of the day, wash her hands thoroughly. She may not like to take showers as she may be afraid of water temp.
Well it is hard to bite your tongue or keep the temper when the patient gets you mad and tests your patience. Deb's humor is good but sometimes it hurts you... Either way, you just have to keep it quiet without blaming her because she would not understand. Blaming or being loud can make her feel upset. It takes practice, I guess. That is why sometimes some family members cannot deal with it and ask someone else to do it. It depends on your mental health. If you have some issues, she would get to you by saying hurtful things. Also lower your expectation because she is not at the same level. She may not understand you mopped the floor.
Last edited by moderator2; 08-28-2012 at 11:29 AM.
Obviously I do not know how to put an avatar thumbnail picture here!! Since they like the post impersonal I didn't bother.
Many think as you did. I will bring them here, show them how it is, and they will comply. It doesn't happen that way. We think of this disease as "memory loss" and it is so much more than that. This disease causes brain damage that affects every level of cognition. Memory loss is only one of a long list of abilities that is impaired.... and actually the one that for me is the easiest to deal with. It is the personality changes, the lack of social skills, the poor judgement, and inability to process information that is more problematic.
If nothing else this disease will teach you patience. For me it has shown me what is truly important in my life. A clean floor is nice but the contentment and well being of those I love is MUCH more important. I have learned a different way of prioritizing my life. I can be blunt.. as those here know... but I can also successfully throw out a string of fiblets that give Mom and Dad contentment or still my tongue when I know it will only cause confusion. As much as I like to be in control, this is one situation that the only way to be in control is to be out of control. I let them lead and I follow along guiding the best I can. If it is not a matter of health and safety... it's not worth the distress to me or Mom. I would be the one leaving the crumbs to sit down and spend time with Mom. She still loves when the focus in on her
If Mom loves folding... let her fold. I have been known to walk into another room and unfold everything so Mom could do it again!! Find little jobs that will make her feel useful. She may not do them right but if you smile and say thank you, it will make her day. They still want to be a useful contributing member of the house but just don't know how. We all need to be needed and to be respected. Their needs are the same as ours. We just have to be creative to find ways to give them what they need. Find ways around what bugs you.
My mom is an over washer of her hands if nothing else. I guess I am lucky in that way. She has always liked her baths, used bubbles and soaked....I always said when she quit liking taking baths, then we were in trouble! Well before I decided "it was time", I'd go over to take her groceries and do her pillbox. OMG, sometkimes she'd stink like a dead horse, yuk..If we were going somewhere, many times, I'd make her go take a bath first. Well over here I make her take a bath atleast every other night. I was washing her hair in the kitchen sink and putting a few rollers in it then blowing it dry and . Then a few nights after coming out of her bath she would have gotten her hair wet and when I'd ask why she'd say 'I washed it!' and that was only a day or two after I'd fixed her hair. So now I say enough of that and just let her do it herself in the tub.
When my grandmother was alive and I'd drive all the way across town to go see her and she stunk to high heaven. I'd try and get her to let me give her a bath. She'd have no part of it. I don't know if she was scared of water, or getting in/out of the tub or what.
Deb, what in the world are a string of fiblets?? lol I can imagine but you tell me.
I had some towels for Mom to fold and she jumped right in on them first thing. She does towels nearly perfect but those hubs clothes lastnight needed some help. Although we didn't let her know....I will try and find stuff for her to do while that is still an option. I know she needs to feel needed. Thank ya'll for all the advice.
My late FIL used to tell us to wash hands ASAP after we came back to the house. He was a doctor so he was very serious about it. But in 2007 when his Alzheimer's got worse, he asked why he needed to wash his hands and from then on, he no longer knew why he needed to wash.
Deb's Mom can take a shower too. I guess everyone is different. That is good that your Mom likes water.
The string of fiblets are the things you say just to create contentment. They may not have a connection to your reality but they have everything to do with her reality. Somebody stole my ring. We know that she hid it last night but if you say that she is going to flip out a real southern hissy fit on you telling you that YOU are the crazy one because she didn't do that. Instead you assure here that you are going to take care of the problem, find the hooligan that got her ring, and have him return it before he goes to jail. She's validated and happy that you are stepping up. Then you sneak into her room and find the ring. Telling her is wrong will not serve either of you well. Her reality is just as strong as yours is. She will argue you down. I call it joining her on Planet Alzheimer's instead of expecting her to join you here. She can't come home so we have no choice but to join them where they are.
The shower always seems to be a point of contention. I was lucky that Mom never had a shower reluctance but we did have to "help" her into the shower frequently. Once in she was fine. Now in the late stages she still smiles during her showers... but she is a rarity.
FIrst you have the memory issue. She took a shower.... already had one. I her mind her ability to create a time line is diminished. She remembers taking a shower.... it might have been 2 weeks ago... but she did take a shower. So why does she need to take another one. Then there is the shower itself. "Take a shower!" It sounds so simple. But when you break it down it is a daunting task. Getting out of their clothes, finding all the items they need, figure out how to turn on the water, that scary water shooting out of the sky that they might not understand, trying to figure out what bottle of what to use when, not to mention getting rid of all those strange bubbles that keep showing up. Then they have to figure out how to get dry and back to trying to figure out how to get those clothes back on. It is so much easier just to say they had a shower already! Then you have the visual of the white tub bottom that doesn't look like a floor, the water that they don't know how deep it is or where it comes from or goes. Will they go down the drain with the water. Not to mention it is COLD... and they don't like cold. Then the modesty that can be an issue especially if you have to help them. They don't like naked any more than cold. Shall I go on !? When you put yourself in their mind set... it's a scary task. So they just declare that they have done it already and go on with their day
In it all if you can validate her emotions, give her a sense of well being, and help her feel useful..... you have done a good days work
Wow, Deb, I must say that you are brilliant in your experience.
Alot of nights my mom will from taking her bath, go to her room and close the door to dress for bed, I assume. Then she will come out of there fully dressed either in the same thing she went in there in or a clean set of clothes- which I would prefer. When I inquire, she will either say oh darn it, I thought this is what I was supposed to wear or this is comfortable, I want to sleep in this! Whatever, I just let her.
We live on the corner and her room faces that street. When she first came, I'd catch her changing clothes with the blinds up and big light on! Of course I had to scold her about it. I don't particularly want a letter from HOA regarding a naked lady getting dressed with blinds open! We do have solar screens on the house and they are dark. Without the light on, you cannot see in and blinds up gives enough light. Well she kept doing it, so I disabled the ceiling fan light so it won't come on. The only light she has is a little bedside lamp. I've checked her lately while she is dressing to see if she's still doing it but haven't caught her at it. I am thinking she may have caught on ??
No scolding please... Also, as the person with dementia gets sicker, sundowning is part of the signs. She needs lights. If it is very dark after sunset or even at night before she sleeps, she would be upset about the darkness and get agitated.
You cannot assume she will live independently in her room and do what she "is supposed to do". She needs guidance and help. You need to check with her after her shower. You even have to be inside the bathroom to guide her in her shower.
You see, gradually you will need to help her step by step. Don't be surprised if she doesn't do it right. It is part of dementia.
It would help if you read some books about dementia.
Been there seen all of that. Yep I let Mom and Dad sleep in whatever they wanted to because it was definitely not worth the argument when they had on the wrong clothes. Mom would come out with shorts on in the winter and Dad would throw on a coat to go outside in the summer. Their concept of what is appropriate is just not there. That also explains the dressing with the blinds open. At home there was a stained glass window in the bathroom, and curtains behind the head board facing the front of the house. But those big triple windows in the back were a problem. So I put up a privacy fence on the other side of the patio and planted confederate jasmine on it. It was amazingly beautiful and blocked the view of the window. But wait, when they moved into the facility their double window faced the courtyard and I have seen Mom topless more than once At least there was nobody that would remember it close by except for me!! As you have probably realized, telling her doesn't do much to change behavior. Mom honestly doesn't see what we see. Just because you haven't caught her doesn't mean she is not doing it!! I may be time for you to be a little more present. I would close the blinds before I let Mom change. I would even pick out clothes and lay them on the bed. It was easier for her to pick up what I had laid out than th decide what to put on. Decision making is absolutely a chore and bad judgement prevails. I found it easier to be proactive in making the decisions for them in a sneaky way than trying to change the outcome of bad judgement.
Not sure it is brilliant but I have a LOT more experience than I would like to admit!! Might as well use it to make the journey easier for others....
Nina, I have read a lot about dementia. I have been reading every since I had her put on medicine, which was about 2004 ? My step dad wasn't going to do anything about it, he didn't know what to do so I took over as far as getting her to a Dr. She's been on Aricept the whole time and Namenda too the last 5 yrs or so. Not much else you can give them. The only other thing I even heard about is that Excel patch and it says that can cause strokes. Do you know of anything else?
I pulled out a big puzzle today. A Christmas one with cats. I was trying to get her to pick out he border pieces and put them to the side so we could start on them. I went back 3 or 4 times and she kept mixing them back in with the other pieces. Finally I helped her separate most of them she got a few together....she can work a small puzzle pretty fast but when it's 500 pieces or more, she says OH BOY.....when I pore it out
Surprisingly, she can pick out her own outfits each day although some days she comes out wearing the same thing 2 days in a row. Her winter clothes aren't over here so I don't have that problem (yet). A bunch of times when I'd go to the other house, it would be 90 degree's outside and she'd be wearing a long sleeved shirt and pants, oh and furry house slippers! I'd say Mom, it's hot as fire outside and she'd say that she wasn't cold. One time recently, I went and when I went in, I noticed her hair was all wet and it was very hot in there. She had jacked with the thermstat and had it on 93!! I knew the time was near. I taped up the thermo. so she wouldn't mess with it and of course she did.....
You guys are helping me a whole lot in trying to ease into this. I know it's not going to be easy and she is going to get worse. I appreciate all your advice, tips and stories! Keep 'em coming Thanks!
Aricept and Exelon are basically the same medication. They work in the same way. I have been unable to find any information on Exelon induced strokes and had not heard of that side effect before. I do know the greatest risk factor for stroke is age. There are some a-typical psychotic medications that are used in elderly dementia patients that do have a very slightly increased risk of cardiovascular events. Mom is actually on one of those for her manic anxiety. But when I weighed the benefits against the slight risk... I took the benefit of a smiling Mom... for the last 3.5 years You need to determine the risk potential and measure that against the benefits. But you can't take Exelon and Aricept together so it's not an issue at all.
Spacial reasoning is one of the cognitive abilities that is damaged. This is the mind's ability to visualize and manipulate object.... they take that information and transfer it into real objects. An Engineer visualizes a bridge, draws it, and then builds it. When we pick up a puzzle piece we can see how it fits even if it is upside down. We can associate the colors and shape to turn it in the right direction. As dementia progresses this ability disappears. Mom was the puzzle queen. The more pieces the better. Less than a year after diagnosis she was unable to put together even a moderate puzzle. We would work on it while she moved the pieces around and when it was done declared that she had done it. The few pieces she attempted to place were not where they should be. We put the puzzles away... even the smaller ones. In Mom's locked unit, even the large floor puzzles with only 6 pieces are nothing more than a frustration for most of the residents. Stick with the smaller puzzles if she can still do those because that "Oh, boy!" was more than likely frustration!
As long as everything in her closet is appropriate then she is good to go.... as long as she can get clothes on effectively. Mom has been known to put on two shirts or three pairs of pants before. Oh, and the biggest laugh I ever had was when she put her chemise on Dad instead of his undershirt. Considering she was 5' 100 pounds and he was 6'2 170 pounds... it was hysterical! Neither understood my fits and giggles... even when I had to cut the chemise off of Dad because I couldn't get it back over his head.
I taped thermostats as well and that did NO good. I even put a plastic cage with a lock, screwed into the wall, over the one in the facility room and Dad ripped it off the wall. I finally hung a decorative hat over it. Out of sight, out of mind. That actually worked.
It is good that you are reading all that you can. The more you know the better you will be able to handle what dementia throws along your path. It's a crazy ride for sure
I also read a lot of books on AD since 2004. When my late MIL died, my late FIL immediately needed our help. The first 2 years he was sort of on his own although he was already confused here and there about the bills and laws... It was in late 2006 when he began to need personal help step by step. In 2007 he needed guidance to take a shower and wash hands... He just declined suddenly and needed personal help. I think your Mom may be getting there later on. My late FIL even drove in early 2006 and then he stopped it when the test said he had AD. (This was kind of funny because he chose to test his memory for driving via the behavior center and yet he denied the verdict in the end. He always knew he had something wrong with his brain.)
My late FIL had had aricept/namenda/exelon for 2 years or so in 2007. However, the side effect confusion was too much. Aricept made him stop eating so he only had aricept for 3 months. He asked for exelon himself (as a former MD and PhD who stuided brain, he knew about that kind of stuff.) Frankly as we have discussed in this site, such drugs have not brought anything useful. He continued to be confused and being perceptive is useless. (The drugs would make him perceptive.)
It is the antipsychotic drugs that you need to worry about stroke. My late FIL had these drugs in the severe stage (last year) only.
Yes the temp. is the issue. It was funny. His old house had this old round temp. adjusment dial at the entry of the living room downstairs. It was round and very easy to be touched and moved. That one controls the whole house for heat. Well later on he walked by and held on to it as something to hold on to, and moved the dial to make it hotter!! We didn't realize until I found out that he moved it by walking there. He thought it was something to hold on to (like a deco or part of the wall.) He needed a cane at that time in 2008. He also didn't understand he had A/C upstairs anymore. In 2007, he no longer knew anything about temp. or about what kind of coat he needed to wear. He had no clues how hot or how cold it was outside.
Good luck to you and hope Mom will stay for a long time. Reading books helps the ideas but it does not really help when it comes to the personal application. It is not a case by case instructions.
My mom had one of those dial thermostats at first. She'd turn it all the way one way (down) and she'd be cold. Then go back to it and dial all the way the other way (up) then of course she was hot. After doing this all day, the electric bill was astonomical. So hub and I put in a digital that she doesn't understand I promised me she wouldn't touch. Another yeah, right.
Well the little cat got onto the table lastnight and got to the puzzle even though I had it covered with a blanket and water bottles to hold it down. Decided to just chunk it as he ate and chewed on many pieces. I think Mom is relieved and is putting it in the box as we speak. I'll go to walmart and try and find some smaller ones and do a little bit better at covering. Or slide it off onto an open box tonight before we go to bed.
Taking yalls advice and trying to find her things to do.....she vacuumed her room earlier. I asked and she said she could do it, so I let her.
I think I'll take her to get her nails done.
Talking about driving......my mom quit driving on her own in about 2002. We had to pry the keys out of my grandmothers hands.....after she drove her garbage down to the dumpster, hit the dumspter then came back and pulled under her carport and smooth ran over her big cage full of doves! We knew it was time for her not to drive. My Mom actually bought grandma's car from her and gave to my daughter. My grandma never liked my daughter anymore after that. She would always say thats the lil' girl who took my car. And we would tell her over and over that we paid her for the car!
Telling them something doesn't work when their reality is different from what you are saying They grab hold only partial information and the mind twist it into a reality as only a demented brain can. Paranoia is prominent and blame is forthcoming. When they don't remember that they did something... then somebody else had to have done it. The car is gone, grand daughter has it, she stole it! Makes sense to Mom Money become an arbitrary idea that they don't understand. It will slip through their fingers and they have no idea how... oh yeah somebody stole it. You didn't pay for for that car because I don't have anything you gave me for it... nothing tangible that I can touch and see. I found it so much easier to validate the feelings (Oh that so sad Mom, I know it upsets you), give her hope by assuring her I will do something about it (I will see what I can do TOMORROW), and distract her (How about some ice cream!?). When I let her know that I hear her, understand, and give her hope in the moment it is much better than arguing with her. We all know tomorrow never comes. I did this with Dad for 4 years relative to his van... that flipping van! When he died, I slipped the van keys in his pocket! I would not send him off to the next life without them or we would hear heaven rattle!
You are going well. The Vacuum is a good option. Dad did a great job! Mom would fold everything in sight. Dad fed the Koi, 10 times a day, and I would go behind him and screen out the excess food. I made them both busy boxes. These boxes contained items from their past. Picture were part of these boxes, especially pictures when they were younger and of their families. There were military items and work related items in Dad's box. There were items in Mom's box that related to her work and home life. They spent much time with those boxes which were even evolving as time went on. Figure out what Mom enjoyed before and scale it back to what she can do now. Mom LOVED to cook but quickly forgot how but even to this day she enjoys stirring that bowl. Dad always mowed the grass and also enjoyed supervising me as I did it. Just find simple ways to include her... and create moments of joy is this crazy disease.....
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Well I got more done at the house yesterday (without mom). Brought her Winter clothes over here after I culled out half of them. Alot were my grandmothers, who died in about 2002. Mom was happy to get her clothes even though she didn't remember most of them. Now I'll see if she starts putting some of them on. It's still Summer even though the kids went back to school last week.
I got her tv in her room going also. I figured out the timer and lastnight she was able to watch tv in bed then it cut off automatically. Cool! She vacuumed some more, the computer room this time. She got hot and went and layed down after doing it. I went and said are you ok and she said yes, but was hot, so I turned down the a/c.
I also reinstated the light on the fan in her room. I "made a deal" with her. We'll see if it takes! I said to her you don't want people seeing you undress, do you? Of course, she said no. I explained (again) about how you can see straight in her room with that big light on and she needs to be sure the blind is shut before changing clothes. So I will be checking on her to see if she remembers. She opens that blind for the little cat (notice profile pic!) named Brownie b/c he loves to lay in it and look outside.
My bet is... you will find the light on and the blinds open sooner rather than later It is just the way the demented mind works. It does not multitask like we do. Changing clothes is difficult enough without worrying about what is going on around her. It's not intentional... she just doesn't have that in her thought process at the time. If you explain it to her she might get it or just say yes because she is not sure exactly what you want. Even if she gets it, it goes away most of the time.
Glad she has ways to help out around the house. I am sure that will help her self esteem. She may not remember doing it later but it will leave her with a contentment and peace that will last.
Mom had every piece of clothes she had bought in 40 years.... and with a best friend in the retail clothing business that was way too much. Every time I moved those clothes I cut them in half. At this point Mom has 10 outfits consisting of simple elastic waist cotton pull on pants and matching short sleeve shirts for warm weather and long sleeve for cooler weather. I put away the shirts that are not in season. She has 2 light weight jackets for the colder days, a coat, and 10 night gowns. That way I can wash once a week. It has been this way for about 3 years now. Simple is always better!
I do hope she is still able to dress appropriate to the weather but again... I'm betting on a sweater in the warm weather. Guess I have just been around way too long hehe... I expect demented behavior and act accordingly. Which reminds me.... have to go work on Mom's laundry so I can take it back in the morning.