Last night, Mom went from being uncharacteristically complimentary ("I'm so lucky to have you; you work so hard taking care of me. I don't know what I'd do without you! I have the best daughter in the whole wide world.") in the evening to spitting venomously in the wee hours of the morning (at the paramedics), "Take your filthy, stinking hands off me!"
All this time, Mom's been sleeping very well at night on 100 mg. Trazadone, 75 mg. Seroquel, and (sometimes, not often) .5 Ativan along with being in her own home, in a safe and calm environment. The last few nights, there have been "What time is it?" awakenings along with the usual potty runs...
Last night, all he// broke loose! Screaming my name repeatedly at a deafening volume, screaming my brother's name, screaming her mother's name, all her siblings' names, etc.; "Where am I? Is this a nightmare?" etc.
The only difference is that her sole remaining family member -- a sister -- took a fall and is now in the hospital; my brother, in his infinite wisdom, told my mother all about it; how she'll have to go to a nursing home if she can't take care of herself because independent living doesn't allow that sort and how her daughter (our cousin), is freaking out about having to care for her, etc.
Of course, she's rich and retired, but she doesn't want to care for her. Don't get me started on that.
I'm glad he visits and shares current events with her, but not if it results in her yelling all night and culminates in her SITTING RIGHT DOWN ON THE FLOOR between the bed and potty, resulting in my having to call in paramedics to lift her up at 2:30 a.m. My sleep deprivation? It is not improving.
Just hoping and praying this isn't the start of some regular nighttime trend...
There is no telling if her anxiety was a result of brother's tales or just a coincidence. I wonder if she has the rational or memory for that to have created the problem. It might just have been a bad night of nightmares. It could be the start of a new phase. There is no way to tell until you get through a few more nights. I do hope it is just a bad night and you both get some rest tonight. Life is ever changing in the land of dementia!
I am not sure her situation came from the brother's visit. If he told her in the morning, she could have forgotten it by sunset. So it may not be due to his talk about the aunt.
Maybe now she is getting more fuzzy due to her disease.
About the time, I don't know if she can still read time - maybe you can get a big clock for Alzheimer's patient and put it next to her bed. Show her the clock and tell her she can tell time by it. That is, if she can still read and tell time. Leave some night light on so she may not have to call you all the time. It is nice that she can still talk.
If she does change, talk to the doctor about her med.
I should have reminded you all that my mother is blind, so big number clocks, even talking clocks since she's also deaf w/o hearing aids, and leaving lights don't help (we did that early on in her blindness from "wet" MD). Also, my brother visits right before her bedtime (about an hour before she gets her meds and gets ready for bed), so there wasn't a long gap in between. Finally, we DID have two restful nights after that; hoping for a third tonight. Her sister gets to return to the facility, so my cousin's sanity is saved, too... ; / I think my aunt is a pure delight; maybe I should move her here????
ALL.... I hope you are joking! Otherwise you are sleep deprived and you know what that does hehe.. Glad your Cousin's sanity has been saved and you have a couple of good nights under your belt. A good day is a blessing to hold on to.
Oh you should just take care of your own. Mom is enough work for you.
Since your brother bothers Mom like that, maybe you can give him a limit - say, come earlier in the morning and don't come before she goes to bed. It is harder to control what he has to say. But do tell him not to say anything disturbing or Mom cannot sleep.
Hope he does not like to bother Mom this way? He needs to be told the limit.
Mom very much looks forward to his visits, so I can't "cut him off"... He was apparently clueless as to what upsets her and what doesn't... All is well again, however... And yes, I am kidding about the aunt... My cousin says, "I would miss her terribly!" Right.
No, you would not want to forbid your brother from visiting. Mom needs her son and her son needs her. Maybe you could let him know the things that do upset her and he will get a clue what to talk about and what not to talk about. Or you can just put up with the fall out from the few times he is there. sometimes it's easier just to let it be. Each has their own way of dealing and no matter how much we want others to be like us... they just aren't